Profanity

I feel a need to respond to some letters I received over the past week about some of my articles.

This will be mostly directed at the United States since that's where the majority of the right wing Christian tight-asses live. (Both Europe and Canada are a little more liberal and don't get quite so defensive about a bit of profanity in what they read.)

In one of the articles I referred to a group as being "full of shit" when I could just as easily said "full of sh*t" and not drawn ANY criticism at all, instead of the nasty comments from some people who's sensibilities I offended.

Same with the term nigger! I was talking about racism and how words hurt, with a special emphasis on that word.

If I had made my point by saying n*gger instead I don't think anyone would have complained at all.

We can hold the same to be true for comments like asshole instead of a**hole.

Which brings me to this point.

"Common people, what the hell is this? "KINDERGARTEN?"

Am I dealing with a bunch of 7 and 8 year old's who giggle and blush at the mention of what they consider an inappropriate word.

What the hell is wrong with the average adult when they object to my saying "shit" on this blog while if I type "sh*t" it's perfectly acceptable?

Does this --> * suddenly make it O.K.?

Grow up people, grow up!

This is taking the phrase "If thine eye offend thee, then pluck it out!" a little too far!

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Oscar said; I’ll admit I have not read the posts in question, but you caught my attention with ”right wing Christian tight asses”..I guess I have some reading homework for today.

While I don’t find excessive cursing necessary nor enjoyable for a good read, I can’t help but wonder what is happening...

Really, does an Astrix help take the sting from one’s burning ears?

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Thank you Oscar, and my point exactly.

I will NEVER use unnecessary nor excessive profanity on this blog, but by God, sometimes nothing else will do!

Your "blushing" servant;
Allan W Janssen

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Marilyn M said; As a conservative Christian, I don't use those words. As a writer, I can find other words that work. But I'm not going to be offended if you use them. I have the choice to read or not.

If someone is standing in front of me and we're having a discussion, and he/she uses profanity knowing how I feel about it, then I'd be offended. If you were writing directly to me and used profanity, then I'd be offended. But your writings are out there for everyone to read or ignore.

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available as an E-Book H E R E ! and as a paperback H E R E !

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://allans-perspective.blogspot.com

Those Creationist S.O.B.'s are a sneaky bunch!

I was just reading an article on a web site called "Talk Origins" (There is a link to it down the left side) and I came across a paragraph that made me sit up and take notice.

The thought that struck me was so basic and simple that I am amazed that I never looked at it that way before, but what the hell, an epiphany is not a gift horse to be looked in the mouth. (Talk about yer mixed metaphors!)

The creationists make the same mistake, or more likely, diversion and mis-direction, that they apply to the scriptures, and this is what gets everything screwed up.

They cannot tell the difference between fact and Theory!

Actually a more accurate statement would be that they don't know the true meaning of the word Theory.

We can use Evolution as a good example of their flawed thought process since it is readily available and much discussed.

They (Creationists) attempt to poo poo evolution with the statement; "It's only a Theory" and then give erroneous "facts" to substantiate their claims.

These people are using the oldest trick in the book, (And I don't mean the bible) and that is to start with a false premise or statement and then run with it from there.

Creationists know that facts are facts, and it's pretty hard to argue with them, so they go about it from a different angle.

They take the word "Theory, and mis-represent it.

Here's how they do it.

In the scientific community facts are facts and a "Theory" is used to describe them.

That "Theory" is an explanation that fits the facts and puts things into "Perspective!"

(Boy I love that word!)

The Creationists, on the other hand, start out with a whole different MEANING for the word Theory this way.

Instead of using Theory as an explanation for something, (facts) they say that a Theory is a "rough guess" about something and needs to be studied further.

(That's when they can start to throw in their own particular "facts" and lead us down the garden path!)

As an example for this kids, let's look at the Theory of gravity!

For a scientist this is looked upon as an explanation (Theory) of the fact of gravity!

For a bible thumper, or creationist, this would be an opportunity to say that we don't have all the facts there are about gravity......., so it is only a "GUESS" as to what is really going on.

Even if this misleading statement were true, would they expect us to suspend gravity while we looked for more evidence?

No!

Especially if their about to jump out of an airplane!

So, while gravity is too obvious a matter, creationists, or bible thumpers, cannot separate fact and theory and that means they can't suspend it.

Evolution however,is not so cut and dried, (As in staring you in the face) and because of this they can say it's only a "Theory" (Guess) and let's play with the "facts" a bit!

Same with religion itself...........!

Facts are facts, but we don't really have ANY facts about religion since no one was there at the time and we have to rely on what people SAID about events.

The second we do this we go from the "Objective" to the "Subjective" and everything from there on in is "suspect" because it's tainted with the agenda of the people who are telling the story!

So, whats the point of this little rant today my friends?

Why, what my grandmother used to tell me years ago......... "Believe only half of what you see and none of what you hear!"

See?

(To put this into context regarding today's sermon, put it this way! If an apple hits you on the head while you're sitting under an apple tree...... chances are Newton was right. If a Televangalist tells you that that universe is only 6000 years old, chances are that he's full of shit!)

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Chuck L.said; ALLAN, You can repeat this until the cows come home (or leap the moon), and the silly twits will ignore it and continue their dishonest misrepresentation. The justification I love is, "Well, theory is YOUR word." Yep, and it means whe WE say it means. But they will not be drawn into an argument of facts, except to insist that their beliefs ARE facts. I really wouldn't care, except that they are diverting us from real issues, and our school districts are steadily dumbing down our science textbooks because they're tired of the argument. Our kids don't get "creation science" in school, but they hardly get evolution in science class, or a decent discussion of how the Universe works, either.

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available as an E-Book H E R E ! and as a paperback H E R E !

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://allans-perspective.blogspot.com

Sunday Morning Funnies #6

Dave came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.

He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke, he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed. ‘Who the hell are you?’, demanded Dave, ‘and what are you doing in my bedroom ?’

The mysterious man answered, ‘This isn’t your bedroom and I’m StPeter.’

Dave was stunned. ‘You mean I’m dead !!! That can’t be, I have so much to live for - and I haven’t said goodbye to my family. . . You’ve got to send me back straight away.’

St Peter replied, ‘Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.’

Dave was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.

A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking around, pecking the ground.

‘This ain’t so bad’, he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said, ‘So you’re the new hen, How are you enjoying your first day here?’

‘It’s not so bad’, replies Dave, ‘but I have this strange feeling inside like I’m about to explode.’

‘You’re ovulating’, explained the rooster. ‘Don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before.’

‘Never’, replies Dave.

‘Well just relax and let it happen’.

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his e motions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.

When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him . . . Ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg, he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting…

‘Dave, wake up, you drunken bastard. You’ve shit the bed !!’

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An Alberta Indian picks up a hooker. 'How much do you charge for da hour, sister?' he asks.

'$100,' she replies.

He says 'Do you do Indian style?'

'No' she says.

' I pay you $200 to do it Indian style'

'No', she says, not knowing what Indian style is.

'I pay you $300'

'No', she says.

'I pay you $400'

'No', she says.

So finally he says, 'OK, I pay you $1,000 to do it Indian style.'

She thinks, 'Well, I've been in the game for over 10 years now. I've had every kind of request from weirdos from every part of the world.

How bad could Indian Style be?''.

So she agrees and has sex with him.

They do it in every kind of way and in every possible position.

Finally, after several hours, they finish.

Exhausted, the hooker turns to him and says, 'Hey, I was expecting something perverted and disgusting. But that was good.

So what exactly is 'Indian style'?'

The Indian replies 'You send bill to Government'

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The Man Rules

Finally , the guys' side of the story.

I must admit, it's pretty good.

We always hear " the Rules "

From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
3. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
4. Crying is blackmail.
5. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
6. Yes or No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
8. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
9. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
10. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.
11. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. And if you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
12. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials….
13. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
14. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
15. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
16. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but i t is just not worth the hassle.
17. If you ask a question that you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer that you don't want to hear.
18. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .
19. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, hockey or golf.
20. You have enough clothes.
21. You have too many shoes.
22. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
23. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that?

It's like camping.

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Why, Why, Why,

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?
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Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there is not enough money?
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Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?
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Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
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Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
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Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
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Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
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If people evolved from apes, Why are there still apes?
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Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
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Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
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Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
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Why do people keep running over a stri ng a doze n times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
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Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
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How do those dead bugs get into those en closed light fixtures?
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When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'
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Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
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In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
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How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
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And my FAVORITE...... The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends --
if they're okay, then it's you.

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available as an E-Book H E R E ! and as a paperback H E R E !

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://allans-perspective.blogspot.com