Sunday Morning Funnies #65

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May,
> >> > > you may live in Canada.
> >> > >
> >> > > If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't
> >> > > work there,
> >> > > you may live in Canada.
> >> > >
> >> > > If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
> >> > > you may live in Canada.
> >> > >
> >> > > If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who
> >> > > dialled a wrong number,
> >> > >you may live in Canada.
> >> > >
> >> > > If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of Detroit for the weekend,
> >> > > you may live in Canada.
> >> > >
> >> > > If you measure distance in hours
> >> > > you may live in Canada.
> >> > >
> >> > > If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once
> >> > > you may live in Canada.
> >> > >
> >> > > If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' or vice versa in the same day
> >> > > you may live in Canada.
> >> > >
> >> > > If you can drive90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow in a raging blizzard without
> >> > > flinching,
> >> > > you may live in Canada.
> >> > >
> >> > > If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave
> >> > > both unlocked,
> >> > > you may live in Canada.
> >> > >
> >> > > If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them,
> >> > > you may live in Canada.
> >> > >
> >> > > If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit,
> >> > > you may live in Canada.
> >> > >
> >> > > if the speed limit on the highway is 80km and you're going 90 and everybody
> >> > >is passing you.
> >> > > you may live in Canada.
> >> > >
> >> > > If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled
> >> > > with snow
> >> > > you may live in Canada.
> >> > >
> >> > > If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and
> >> > > road construction,
> >> > > you may live in Canada.
> >> > >
> >> > > If you have more miles on your snowblower than your car,
> >> > > you may live in Canada.
> >> > >
> >> > > If you find 2 degrees 'a little chilly',
> >> > > you may live in Canada.
> >> > >
> >> > > If you are outside barbequing on a Saturday night,
> >> > > at -40, wearing a parka and sipping a beer,
> >> > > you may live in Canada .


Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know......!) and is available as an E-Book H E R E! and H E R E! And as a paperback H E R E ! and H E R E !

This will curl your eyebrows! OR, talk about a kick in the nuts!

Well, it finally happened kids!

According to the Canwest News Service, there is at least one feminist out in B.C. who is expressing her true inner self!

Tony Clark, 22, was walking in the Brookswood area of Langley in early September when he passed a woman on the sidewalk. "I was looking down and then I took a passing glance and saw her walking toward me," he said.

That's when the young woman inexplicably kicked him in the groin hard enough to send one of his testicles into his abdomen!

(Mr. Clark said he wasn't aware of the severity of his injury until later that night when he "noticed something was missing.")

He consulted his doctor and a specialist, both of whom believed his testicle could be brought down again with surgery.

It wasn't until afterwards that he discovered the doctors were wrong - the force of the assault had caused his testicle to rupture.

(It had to be removed and will be replaced by a prosthetic before Christmas.)

"My doctors say I will still be able to have children," Mr. Clark said. "But all in all, I'm lucky it's not worse!"

Embarrassed by the situation, Mr. Clark didn't go to the police until nearly four weeks after the attack.

Now here comes the kicker kids! (Sorry, I just couldn't resist that!)

Langley RCMP said they would like to speak to other victims, although there have been no official reported incidents, spokeswoman Const. Holly Marks said.

Constables have told him there have been three or four similar assaults on other men by a woman matching the same description, Mr. Clark said.

The suspect is described as a Caucasian woman, in her late teens or early 20s.

She was between five-foot-five and five-foot-seven and 130 pounds with a slim build and short brown hair.

Tony's famous last words on the subject.........? "I just want to know what her problem is!"

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know......!) and is available as an E-Book H E R E! and H E R E! And as a paperback H E R E ! and H E R E !