Even though I'm not a morning person it's a beautiful day and the leaves are starting to fill in the trees, the flowers are blooming and I might even go for a ride in my new boat this afternoon.
As a matter of fact, when I first got up this morning, I wrote a small poem about the day!
I awoke early one morning
The Earth lay cool and still
When suddenly a tiny bird
Perched on my windowsill
He sang a song so lovely
So carefree and so gay
That slowly all my troubles
Began to slip away
He sang of far off places
Of laughter and of fun
It seemed his very trilling
Brought up the morning sun
I stirred beneath the covers
Crept slowly out of bed
Gently shut the window
And crushed his f**king head!
Like I said;
I am NOT a morning person!!
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You have all heard of the old "man bites dog" story?
Here's a new twist on that old theme!
Out in Alberta, a herd of pigs was given "swine flu" by a human!
Really!
-------------------------------------------------As the caseload in Canada jumped from 51 to 85, Canadian Food Inspection Agency officials confirmed that officials were investigating cases of pigs in Alberta that had become infected by the same flu strain - something spokesman Dr. Brian Evans described as a perfectly unremarkable occurrence.
"Infected pigs almost always recover on their own within a week or so; whatever virus these pigs were exposed to is behaving in that exact manner as those we regularly see circulating in North America and in swine herds in virtually every nation around the world," Evans said.
But given the lack of common sense that has prevailed in various parts of the world since the outbreak began - Egypt, for instance, ordered the country's entire pig population slaughtered last week despite the fact the virus can't be contracted from eating pork - Evans drove home the point the infected pigs don't pose a risk to human health.
"These animals are not a food safety risk," he said.
"We are calling on the international community that they base their decisions on facts, not fear ... this is not the time for the international community to establish precedents that serve to confuse, not inform, the public."
The World Health Organization has insisted there is no evidence that pigs are passing the virus to humans, or that eating pork products poses an infection risk.
Indeed, federal Agriculture Minister Gerry Ritz has already discussed the situation with his U.S. counterpart "and has been assured that this in no way changes the trading relationship between the two countries," Evans said.
Then we have this gem from Colorado, as told by the Associated Press.
A man in a cowboy hat who rode a horse through a Denver suburb has been cited for riding an animal under the influence.-----------------------------------------------------
Police say Brian Drone was given a US $25 traffic violation ticket in a strip mall parking lot Friday. Drone told a Denver T-V station that he was out for a "joyride" in Arvada with his horse, Cricket.
Sgt. Jeff Monzingo says the citation was the first he'd seen in 15 years of working in law enforcement.
Police say deciding what to do with the horse was a "tricky call" because "you can tow a car" in typical drunk driving cases.
A stable owner eventually offered Drone and his horse a ride home.
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One
day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool,
Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom
and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became
aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be
discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to
be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have
good news and bad news. The good news is you're being
discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a
crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you
love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness..
The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his
bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but
he's dead.'
Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.
How soon can I go home?'
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Allan funny fella, Allan is.
Chuck L.,
LOL! these are great...just what I needed this morning!
Elizabeth B
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know......!) and is available as an E-Book H E R E! and H E R E! And as a paperback H E R E ! and H E R E !
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://allans-perspective.blogspot.com
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