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>> Subject: Exam Answers??
>>
>> The following questions were set in last year’s GCSE examination in
Swindon, Wiltshire ( U.K. )>> These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)
>>
>>
>> Q. Name the four seasons
>> A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
>>
>> Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
>> A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants
like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists>>
>> Q. How is dew formed
>> A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire
>>
>> Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
>> A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to
flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors
a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight>>
>> Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
>> A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed
>>
>> Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
>> A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
>>
>> Q. What are steroids
>> A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs
>>
>>
>>
>> Q. What happens to your body as you age
>> A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental
>>
>> Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
>> A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his
adultery>>
>>
>>
>> Q Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
>> A. Premature death
>>
>> Q. What is artificial insemination
>> A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow
>>
>> Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
>> A. Keep it in the cow
>>
>> Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
>> A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the
abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart
and lungs>>
>> and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and
U (What ???)>>
>> Q.. What is the fibula?
>> A A small lie
>>
>> Q. What does ‘varicose’ mean?
>> A. Nearby
>>
>> Q. What is the most common form of birth control
>> A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium
>>
>>
>>
>> Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
>> A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome
>>
>> Q. What is a seizure?
>> A. A Roman Emperor.
>>
>>
>>
>> Q. What is a terminal illness
>> A. When you are sick at the airport.
>>
>>
>>
>> Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
>> A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas
>>
>> Q. Use the word ‘judicious’ in a sentence to show you understand its
meaning>> A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your
face.>>
>>
>>
>> Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
>> A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight
>>
>> Q. What is a turbine?
>> A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head
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