Not quite as I remember them!
>
> Mary had a little pig,
> She kept it fat and plastered;
> And when the price of pork went up,
> She shot the little bastard.
>
> Mary had a little lamb
> Her father shot it dead
> Now it goes to school with her,
> Between two hunks of bread.
>
> Jack and Jill went up the hill
> To have a little fun
> Stupid Jill forgot the pill
> And now they have a son.
>
> Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
> Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
> All the kings’ horses,
> And all the kings’ men
> Had scrambled eggs for breakfast again.
>
> Hey diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle,
> All over the bedside clock
> The little dog laughed to see such fun
> Then died of electric shock.
>
> Georgie Porgy pudding and pie,
> Kissed the girls and made them cry
> And when the boys came out to play,
> He kissed them too ‘cos he was gay.
>
> There was a little girl who had a little curl
> Right in the middle of her forehead..
> When she was good, she was very, very good
> But when she was bad……
> She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo and a
sports car.
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