>
> I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
>
> ‘We don’t have half dozen nuggets,’ said the
> teenager at the counter.
>
> ‘You don’t?’ I replied.
>
> ‘We only have six, nine, or twelve,’ was the reply.
>
> ‘So I can’t order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?’
>
> ’That’s right.’
>
> So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
>
> (Unbelievable but sadly true…)
>
>
> (Must have been the same one I asked for sweetener,
>
> and she said they didn’t have any, only Splenda and sugar.)
>
> TWO
>
> I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items
and the lady behind me
>
> put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of
those ‘dividers’ that they
>
> keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so
they wouldn’t get mixed.
>
> After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the
> ‘divider’, looking it all over for the bar code so she could
scan it.
>
> Not finding the bar code, she said to me, ‘Do you know how much
this is?’
>
> I said to her ‘I’ve changed my mind; I don’t think I’ll buy that
today.’
>
> She said ‘OK,’ and I paid her for the things and left.
>
> She had no clue to what had just happened.
>
> ( But the lady behind me had a big smirk on her face as I left)
>
>
> THREE
>
> A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy
drive and pulling it out very quickly.
>
> When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was
shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she
was using the ATM ‘thingy.’
>
> (Keep shuddering!!)
>
> FOUR
>
> I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
‘Do you need some help?’ I asked. She replied, ‘I knew I should have replaced
the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can’t get into my car. Do you
think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to
fit this?’
>
> ‘Hmmm, I don’t know. Do you have an alarm, too?’ I asked.
>
> ‘No, just this remote thingy,’ she answered,
> handing it and the car keys to me. As I
> took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
> replied, ‘Why don’t you drive over there and
> check about the batteries. It’s a long walk….’
>
>
> PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!
>
>
> FIVE
>
> Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One
day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, ‘I’m almost out of
typing paper. What do I do?’ ‘Just use paper from the photocopier’, the
secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece
of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five ‘blank’ copies.
>
> Brunette, by the way!!
>
> SIX
>
> A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she
needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The
dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the
mother says, ‘I just gave him some ant killer……’
>
> Dispatcher: ‘Rush him in to emergency right now!’
>
>
> Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re stupid!!!!
>
> Someone had to remind me, so I’m reminding you too.
>
> Don’t laugh….it is all true…
>
> Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!
> 01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
> 02.. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released
first.
> 03. No one expects you to run–anywhere.
> 04. People call at 9 PM and ask, “Did I wake you?”
> 05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
> 06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
> 07. Things you buy now won’t wear out.
> 08. You can eat supper at 5 PM.
> 09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
> 10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
> 11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
>
> 12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks
into the room.
> 13. You sing along with elevator music.
> 14. Your eyes won’t get much worse.
> 15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to
pay off.
> 16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the
national weather service.
>
> 17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t
remember them either.
>
> 1 8. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable
size.
>
> 19. You can’t remember who sent you this list.
>
> 20. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your
convenience.
>
> Forward this to everyone you can remember right now!
>
> And never, under any circumstances,
> take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night !