Dear Readers:
Not everyone will find these funny!
Some might say they are mildly amusing, others will say they are black humor and still more will scratch their heads and wonder………………. BUT, if you find them hilarious, perhaps you had better go talk to someone!
JOAO Maria de Souza, 45, was killed when a cow squashed him in his bed.
Mr de Souza was in bed with his wife Leni in their Caratinga, Brazil, home when the cow fell through the ceiling.
The cow did not live upstairs. It is thought that the cow had escaped from a farm and made it on to Mr de Souza’s corrugated iron roof via a hill.
Mr de Souza’s brother-in-law Carlos Correa tells Brazil’s Hoje em Dia newspaper:
“Being crushed by a cow in your bed is the last way you expect to leave this earth.”
The dead man’s mother, Maria de Souza, adds: “I didn’t bring my son up to be killed by a falling cow.”
SAN DIEGO (AP) — School officials say lunchtime dares to drink a weird concoction that included hot sauce, carrots, salt and milk likely caused 22 students to get sick at a San Diego elementary school — if all of them were actually ill.
San Diego schools spokesman Jack Brandais says Friday that children at Audubon Elementary dared each other to drink from the mixture Thursday. Some reported upset stomachs and nausea afterward.
Teachers then made a general announcement to see if other students had stomach problems. Brandais says that call brought out students “who may not have had problems at all.”
Of the 22 students, 18 were taken to the hospital, and all were later released.

Canadian nudists were part of an attempt to set the record for the world’s largest skinny-dip on Saturday.
Members of four naturist clubs, in B.C., Sask. and Ont., participated in the North American “Wearing zip, let’s skinny-dip” event organized by the American Association for Nude Recreation and the Naturist Society.
Participants were to bare all at clubs, beaches, rivers, lakes, pools and backyards at 1:00 “Local Nudist Time.” To be counted, all participants had to be completely nude during the swim – and prove it with a photo, so judges could verify the record.
The Canadian groups were four of nearly 100 clubs in North America that signed up to take part, according to the official list on the AANR website.
The 30-year-old man flew into an inexplicable rage when two women he and a friend had been socializing with applied make-up to his face after he had passed out at a party at an Edmonton townhouse.
As the two men were leaving the home the following morning, the gussied up Gerun realized what had been done to him and became “extremely angry,” said Crown prosecutor Laura Marr.
Gerun smashed two windows with a shovel and a propane tank, respectively, and then reached through the shattered window and blasted bear spray throughout the kitchen.
Marr said the amount of bear spray was so “overwhelming” that the fire department had to be called to clear out the noxious fumes.
The two women hid in a closet and called 911, said Marr.

“The rightful occupants of the home were terrorized…over a prank.”
SAN FRANCISCO – The force is no longer with Eric Hodgson, a California man who gave up a collection of Star Wars memorabilia worth more than $10,000 in a plea deal to charges that he defrauded a state agency out of nearly $1.9 million.
imagesCARDWSU7Hodgson was charged in April with 22 counts of grand theft after the California Department of Transportation hired him to publish advertisements for construction contracts in local newspapers.
“He instead used the money to pay off a mortgage, make purchases of toys and comics, and pay for exotic trips for him and his company staff,” State Attorney General Kamala Harris’ office said in a statement.
Hodgson, 43, pleaded guilty on Thursday to defrauding the agency and has agreed to forfeit his Star Wars collection. He must also forfeit two residences, two cars and retirement accounts as part of the plea deal and faces a nine-year prison sentence.
Nick Pacilio, a spokesman for Harris, said on Friday that among the forfeited items now slated for auction is a rubber statue of Yoda, approximately three feet tall, complete with robe and wispy hair.

A friend of a friend left their car in the long-term parking atSan Jose while away, and someone broke into the car.
Using the information on the car’s registration in the glove compartment, they drove the car to the people’s home in PebbleBeach and robbed it.
So I guess if we are going to leave the car in long-term parking, we should not leave the registration/insurance cards in it, nor your remote
garage door opener.
This gives us something to think about with all our new electronic technology.