Dear Readers:
Your mild-mannered reporter is seriously conflicted and confused about just what sort of an asshole Justin Trudeau really is!
In case ya haven’t heard yet boys and girls, Justin is now advocating for compensation for Omar Khadr for the time he spent in Guantanamo Bay prison.

2-Ply-Toilet-Paper-Annual-AwardFOR MURDER!
No, you heard right!
He actually said it!
(I think our ‘Asshole of the Week,’  has been smoking too much POT!)


Fiddling with a cellphone while behind the wheel is proving to be deadlier than drunk driving — at least according to statistics emerging from one province ahead of a campaign to crack down on distracted drivers.
So far, 47 of the 177 deaths on Ontario highways involved drivers who were distracted. That’s in contrast to the 32 people who died in impaired driving-related deaths.
Though there are distracted-driving laws in place in all provinces and territories except Nunavut, police and car safety advocates say Canadian drivers are not getting the message when comes to being alert and focused behind the wheel.
Read more: http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/distracted-driving-deadlier-than-impaired-driving-police-say-ahead-of-holiday-crackdown-1.1434734#ixzz2dYVM5VOh
And you thought we had militant unions in THIS country!

imagesCAUIO9M3Eight Paraguayan bus drivers have had themselves nailed to crosses to protest being fired by a transportation company after it rejected their plea for higher pay, a lawmaker said on Friday.
The drivers, from the northern town of Luque, are on their backs, nailed to wooden crosses laid out on the ground. Large nails pierce their hands at the base of the fingers.
They said they took the action in a desperate bid to be heard.
They have been nailed down for 15 days, according to Olga Ferreira de Lopez, a member of Paraguay’s House of Congress who is monitoring the situation.
“There have been infections … . Their state of health is getting complicated,” she told Reuters.
Some of the drivers’ wives are taking turns being nailed to crosses alongside their husbands.
The transportation company has promised to rehire five of them and help the remaining three find work. But the protesters say they will not stop until they all get their jobs back.
Human beings wipe their ass enough times in one day to consume 27,000 trees!
(Bet ya don’t read that in your Funk n’ Wagnals!)
Rest easy folks, it’s safe to go outside again:
U.S. Army medical researchers may have found an emergency treatment for the deadly Ebola virus, which is welcome news to biodefense researchers studying ways in which such hemorrhagic fever viruses jump from non-primate species to human beings and how to treat them.
Using antibodies derived from specially engineered tobacco plants, Army medical researchers were able to develop a treatment that provided complete protection to Ebola.
But more importantly and promising, the treatment helped even after Ebola symptoms had developed, according to the study in Science Translational Medicine.
Ebola virus (EBOV) remains one of the most lethal transmissible infections and is responsible for high fatality rates and substantial morbidity during sporadic outbreaks.

You might not know this kids, but EBOLA is one of the worst diseases here in North America.
imagesCAX9L6Z4All those people lying on the streets that you thought were homeless, were actually EBOLA victims in various stages of infection.
Not wanting to cause a panic the government has kept this information secret, and is going to keep it that way as long as possible.
Mass hysteria is feared when this information becomes readily available, so we here at The Perspective Research Department, along with the Naked News staff, urge all our readers to keep it to themselves.
(Mums the word!!!!!)
Two human brains have been connected via the internet in an experiment which researchers compared to a Vulcan ”mind meld” from Star Trek.

<I>Illustration: Rocco Fazzari</i>
From his laboratory at the University of Washington, Rajesh Rao said he was able to control the hand movements of a colleague on the other side of campus using his thoughts. A cap filled with electrodes picked up signals from Professor Rao’s brain and transmitted them via the internet to a magnetic coil on Andrea Stocco’s head.
As Professor Rao thought about tapping the space bar on his keyboard the coil stimulated Dr Stocco’s left motor cortex, which governs hand movement, and prompted him to carry out the action. Studies have linked mouse brains, and amputees use similar technology to move robotic limbs, but the experiment is thought to be the first connection between people.
Illustration: Rocco Fazzari
Dr Stocco said: ”The internet was a way to connect computers, and now it can be a way to connect brains. We want to take the knowledge of a brain and transmit it brain to brain.”

Read more: http://www.theage.com.au/technology/sci-tech/scientists-boldly-go-where-no-man-has-gone-before-20130829-2stm7.html#ixzz2dYk9kJn0

A giant foam finger modeled after the one created by Chmlear in 1971. (iStock)
si_foam_fingerCreator of the iconic foam “No. 1 hand” Steve Chmlear won’t be cheering in the front row of a Miley Cyrus concert any time soon.
Commonly used among sports fans to root for their idols, the foam finger was recently used by Cyrus a prop during her controversial MTV Video Music Awards performance.
“She took an honorable icon that is seen in sporting venues everywhere and degraded it,” said Chmlear in an interview with FoxSports this week.
Now 59, Chmlear says he invented the prop in 1971 at the age of 16 to support his high school basketball team in Iowa.
Cyrus used the finger to gyrate and twerk with during her sexually-charged VMA performance on Sunday evening.
“I would say that it certainly misrepresented its intent to encourage team support,” said Chmlear. “Fortunately, the foam finger has been around long enough that it will survive this incident. As for Miley Cyrus, let’s hope she can outlive this event and also survive.”
Robin Thicke, Miley Cyrus


A Muslim youth conference in Montreal has been cancelled after the convention centre where it was supposed to be held cited security concerns.
The Parti Quebecois government had earlier asked Ottawa to block fundamentalist preachers from Europe from speaking at the conference, but the request fell on deaf ears!
Montreal’s Palais des congres, the city’s largest convention centre, says in a statement it won’t hold the meeting scheduled for Sept. 7 and 8.
They say  it’s against the sexism of some conference participants, who have reportedly said that women not wearing the veil is worse than cancer.
The move comes as Quebec is embroiled in a debate over the accommodation of religious minorities.
This rendering by artist Scott Dickson took more than 100 hours to create. See details below about the future developments that will reshape Toronto’s skyline over the next decade.
0830 v2 skyline
1. CityPlace
Spadina Ave. and Front Street
There are now 25 towers, mostly condos, complete or under construction; developer Concord Adex may add more.

2. Oxford Place

Front Street and Simcoe Street
The proposal by Oxford Properties, for collection of four buildings and a renovation to the existing Metro Toronto Convention Centre, has been sent back to the drawing board, but these plans will be used to inform a future development at the site.

3. The Residences at the Ritz-Carlton

183 Wellington St W.
53-storey hotel and condo building, completed 2011

4. Ïce Condominiums at York Centre

12 and 14 York St.
67 and 57 storey mixed-use buildings; under construction, slated for completion in 2014

5. The L Tower

2 The Esplanade
57-storey condo under construction, slated for completion in 2014

6. Bay Adelaide East

2 Adelaide St. W.
44-storey office and retail building; under construction; slated for completion 2016

7. 88 Scott

88 Scott St.
58-storey condo under construction, slated for completion in 2016

8. Massey Tower

197 Yonge St.
60-storey condo under construction, slated for completion in 2016

9. Aura at College Park

386-388 Yonge St.
78-storey condo under construction, slated for completion in 2014

10. U Condominiums

Bay Street and St. Mary Street
45- and 55-storey condo buildings under construction, slated for completion in 2015

11. Four Seasons Hotel and Residences

50 Yorkville Ave. and 55 Scollard St.
Hotel and condos completed 2012

12. 50 Bloor West

50 Bloor St. W.
A proposed condo and retail development, 83 storeys tall. Builders are in the initial phase of filing rezoning applications.

13. One Bloor

1 Bloor St. E.
75-storey condo and retail centre; under construction, slated for completion in 2015

14. Casa 2

42 Charles St. E.
56-storey condo under construction, slated for completion in 2015

15. X2 Condos

101 Charles St. E.
49-storey condo, slated for completion in 2014

She may be Britain’s oldest glamour model, but she’s got curves to rival women HALF her age.

Suzy Monty has revealed she’s still flaunting her bikini body for the camera and in fact is in more demand than ever – at the ripe old age of 62.
Despite modelling throughout her 20s and 30s before taking a break, the Truro, Cornwall native returned after a 20-year hiatus and now has more modelling work than ever before.

Posing up a storm in these pictures, Suzy has revealed she was initially turned down for work as she didn’t fit the typical image of a ‘granny.’
But soon she found her niche – youthful-looking older women – and now works for a whole host of top modelling magazines and naturist publications.
She revealed: “About six years ago one model agency I approached said that I didn’t have the ‘granny’ look for my age.
“They missed the whole point – a woman looking young for her age.

Suzy Monty says she gets more modelling work now than ever [SWNS]  “Thankfully, I have since been taken on my a another model agency which does realise my potential as a younger-looking model.”I am doing a lot of fashion shoots at the moment and the odd light glamour one.”
Suzy, who celebrates her ruby wedding anniversary in September, won first place in a modelling contest aged 10 and went on to start her own agency.
She says she barely wears make-up and sunbathes only in moderation, opting instead for a good facial and body moisturiser to keep her skin soft.
To keep slim Suzy says she eats sensibly and enjoys daily coastal walks with her dog.
She says the secrets to a lengthy modelling career is quite simple – learn to smile and stay grounded.
Suzy said: “Radiate joy and people will smile back, making one’s day a happier experience.

The 62-year-old has worked for some top modelling agencies [SWNS]  “I honestly think people these days don’t smile enough, I smile at everyone, even animals.”Modelling is my passion. It may look glamorous but actually it is hard work if you want to get to the top of the profession.
“Keeping a level head has helped. Parts of the modelling industry can be a tad egotistical.”