Dear Readers:
Here is the first official family photo of our “Winner of the Century”  ………………………………….., the luckiest little shit in the world!
Your faithful reporter has always toyed with the notion of getting into the movies…………………………., but after reading THIS, I will stick to radio and voice-overs!
For most Hollywood directors, five to ten takes of a given a scene are usually all they need to get what they want from the cast and crew. Time is money, after all, so why linger when you don’t have to?

For other filmmakers though, a scene might require a few more takes… OK, a lot more takes.
“Fight Club” director David Fincher is one such filmmaker. Fincher is known to run a pretty tight ship on set, and has become somewhat notorious over the years for shooting countless takes of certain scenes. The director, who was previously reported to average around 27 takes per scene, is now making news for pushing his penchant for multiple takes even further.
Speaking with the Southeast Missourian, “Gone Girl” producer Ce├ín Chaffin says that the average number of takes for each scene in the Ben Affleck/Rosamund Pike kidnapping thriller will be closer to 50. (Oof!) The film is currently shooting south of St. Louis, and word from the set is that the cast and crew has been in for some very long days. Previously, Fincher infamously required “The Social Network” stars Jesse Eisenberg and Rooney Mara to do 99 different takes of a six-minute conversation and nearly drove the cast of “Zodiac” up the wall with numerous scene re-shoots.
A few days ago we told you about what happens in countries that are 100% Muslim and a lot of people didn’t believe us.
Read on folks…………………., read on!

imagesA Saudi woman said she got behind the wheel Saturday and drove to the grocery store without being stopped or harassed by police, kicking off a campaign protesting the ban on women driving in the ultraconservative kingdom.
Despite warnings by police and ultraconservatives in the kingdom against defying the ban, at least four women have successfully driven, May Al Sawyan said.
Though no specific Saudi law bans women from driving, women are not issued licenses. Powerful clerics who hold far-reaching influence over the monarchy enforce the ban, warning that breaking it will spread “licentiousness.”
A volunteer fire chief in a small community in southern Saskatchewan has apologized to a French-speaking resident for yelling at her to go back to Montreal.
Troy Chapman said in a letter dated Thursday that he regrets the heated argument he had earlier this month with Danielle Duperre at her home in Manor.

image“I spoke without thinking and didn’t take your feelings into consideration,” he wrote.
“I can only imagine how deeply upsetting the situation was. I deeply regret the harsh comments!”
(She called 911 one night after she spotted large flames in her neighbour’s fire pit. The fire chief showed up at her door in a rage, yelling and swearing about how she’d roused him from bed for nothing!)
Duperre, who moved from Montreal to the tiny village two years ago, still doesn’t know what all the fuss is about since she only speaks French …….., and didn’t understand a word he said!
Read more:

The $50 million dollar Lotto Max jackpot has gone unclaimed for another week.
untitled(That’s because I didn’t have a ticket for last night ……, somebody else will win it next week when I do have a ticket!!!!!!)
The jackpot for next Friday’s draw will once again be $50 million, however, there will also be an estimated 20 Maxmillion prizes of one million dollars each.

We here at the Perspective Research Department, and the Naked News staff, like to keep our readers informed of interesting stuff.
20131025-queer-parties-torontoSo when I ran across an article this morning called: “The top 5 monthly queer parties in Toronto,” I was going to do a report on it ………….., but since i don’t live in T.O., and I’m not gay, I never bothered to read it!
I did see THIS, and make these people our “Assholes of the Day!”
A 20-year-old waiter at Carrabba’s Italian Grill in Overland Park, KS, had served a couple during his shift earlier this week and discovered a note on the back of the bill after they left, explaining why the customers refused to tip him.

2-Ply-Toilet-Paper-Annual-AwardThank you for your service, it was excellent. That being said, we cannot in good conscience tip you, for your homosexual lifestyle is an affront to GOD. (Homosexual slur) do not share in the wealth of GOD, and you will not share in ours. We hope you will see the tip your (homosexual slur) choices made you lose out on, and plan accordingly. It is never too late for GOD’s love, but none shall be spared for (homosexual slur). May GOD have mercy on you.
The waiter didn’t comment or release his name, but KCTV reported his mother, who also works at the restaurant, was very upset by the note. However, the server’s misfortune has brought a wave of supporters into the restaurant, according to Salon, some of whom are Christian members of the LGBT community who say his treatment was appalling.
News this morning from LOS ANGELES, Calif. – Hal Needham, a top Hollywood stuntman who turned to directing rousing action films including “Smokey and the Bandit” and “The Cannonball Run,” has died.

imagesCAKTUCRWHe was 82.
A former paratrooper, Needham appeared in thousands of TV episodes and hundreds of movies, performing and designing stunts and new equipment to execute them.
Needham jumped from planes, was dragged by horses and wrecked cars — breaking 56 bones in the process.
A spokesman reported that Needham died after being shot by a jealous husband!

While we are still in Hollywood……………., Mary McCormack apparently didn’t appreciate what she saw “in plain sight.”
1382619679_katharine-mcphee-michael-morris-mary-mccormack-lgMarried to Smash director Michael Morris for ten years, the actress, 45, allegedly threw Morris out of their Los Angeles home late Sunday — shortly before photos emerged of Morris making out with his former series star Katharine McPhee in a parking lot!
Folks, I don’t know if this is something straight out of 1984 …………………., or a really good idea!
“Venezuela government creates official Ministry of Happiness”!
President Nicolas Maduro says the new Vice Ministry of Supreme Social Happiness will coordinate all the “mission” programs created by the late President Hugo Chavez to alleviate poverty.
131025_venezuela_happiness_660Wags had a field day Friday, waxing sarcastic on Twitter about how happy they felt less than 24 hours after the announcement.
In downtown Caracas, fruit vendor Victor Rey said he’s now waiting for Maduro to create a vice ministry of beer.

“That would make me, and all the drunks, happy,” he said.
A TV journalist whose show was recently forced off the air after he refused to censor political opponents of the ruling socialists, Leopoldo Castillo, called Maduro’s announcement an international embarrassment.
Housewife Liliana Alfonzo, 31, said that instead of a Supreme Happiness agency she’d prefer being able to get milk and toilet paper, which disappear off store shelves minutes after arriving at stores.
Maduro blames the shortages on speculation and hoarding, but merchants say they would go broke if they adhered to government price controls.
Chavez spent billions on social programs, from benefits for single mothers to handouts of apartments and major appliances.
Maduro was elected April 14 as Chavez’s chosen successor.
A 25-year-old Hawaii surfer and former boxer went toe-to-fin with a shark off Kauai and survived.
Jeff Horton was surfing Sunday morning with about 10 others near Kilauea when someone spotted a fin in the water, The Garden Island reported.
Twenty minutes later, Horton was sitting on his surfboard with his legs dangling in the water when he spotted a dark shape approaching from the left. He thought it was a stingray — dark on top, white on the bottom.
“It came flying straight toward me,” he said.
He pulled his left leg out of the water and the shark got a mouth full of surfboard.
The impact knocked Horton off the board. He rolled onto the shark and grabbed a fin.
On top of the shark, holding on with one hand, he began punching as hard as he could with his other fist. He estimated he landed eight blows.
“I finally got one nice punch into the eye,” Horton said. “I put some really good hits on it, for sure.”
When his knuckled jammed into the shark’s eye, the shark spit out the board and retreated.
Horton scrambled onto his board. With another surfer, he caught a wave and paddled toward shore.
The shark briefly followed but did not attack again, he said.
After they reached shore, a tourist gave him $50 and told him to buy a bottle. Horton’s only injuries were scratches from the shark’s rough skin.
The 7-foot board, however, was left with a semi-circle imprint of the shark’s jaws.
It will not go back in the water.
“I’m going to put it up on my wall,” Horton said.
He surfed again Monday at another beach.