Well folks, we might as well start with our “Asshole of the Day” right from the get-go!
Since we turn our clocks back an hour tonight your befuddled writer couldn’t believe his eyes when reading this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Gaining extra hour less of a problem that losing hour of sleep: experts!”

2-Ply-Toilet-Paper-Annual-AwardLet’s see if I have this right……………………. sleeping an extra hour is better for ya than not getting enough sleep!
It takes an expert to tell us this?
Yup, they’re assholes alright!
untitledThe parents of a three-year-old boy are relieved after they were reunited with their son early Saturday morning, a couple hours after the boy managed to escape his home.

Gatineau police say a passerby spotted the boy, who was wearing only shorts and a t-shirt, around 1:30 a.m.at a bus stop. The passerby then called 911.
According to police, the kid said he couldn’t stand it no more, and was running away from home!
Police said the family was reunited and the boy did not suffer any injuries.
Quebec’s children’s services department is investigating.

It’s a drink that has been shared among Greek gods, Vikings, mythical dwarves and magical wizards.
imagesCAV44Q7IMade using honey, water and yeast, the origins of mead have been traced back nearly 10,000 years, predating wine and beer. Its popularity has ebbed and flowed through time and throughout the world, popping up in places like ancient Greece, northern China and Ethiopia.

imagesNow, Canadians are buzzing about mead — one of the world’s oldest alcoholic beverages. The so-called nectar of the gods has made a resurgence in Canada over the past decade, with meaderies multiplying across the country.
Vicky Rowe, owner of the U.S.-based Internet mead hub Gotmead.com, said she counted about four meaderies in Canada in the mid-2000s. That number has since grown to more than 30 meaderies from coast-to-coast.
“We started seeing more and more Canadian meaderies cropping up. I mean, just all over the place, like they were growing on trees,” said Rowe, who’s operated her website for about 20 years.
Read more: http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/canadians-revelling-in-resurgence-of-ancient-alcoholic-drink-mead-1.1525135#ixzz2jV1S6R7p

untitledWe’re all going to die (hopefully not too soon). And that means that someday, everyone currently on Facebook will be six feet under (metaphorically speaking).
The blog What If? recently attempted to determine when (in ballpark figures) the number of dead people on Facebook will outnumber those who are alive.
It’s a morbidly fascinating question, and the unidentified blogger behind What If? is more than up to the challenge.
The conclusion: Depending on whether Facebook stays popular, the answer is either in the 2060s or the 2130s.
The blogger writes, “Based on the site’s growth rate, and the age breakdown of their users over time,there are probably 10 to 20 million people who created Facebook profiles who have since died.”
Looking down the road, the blogger writes, “About 290,000 US Facebook users will die (or have died) in 2013. The worldwide total for 2013 is likely several million. In just seven years, this death rate will double, and in seven more years it will double again.”
The question, the blogger argues, is whether or not Facebook will continue to add more young users “to outrun this tide of death for a while.”
If the social network can get young people to keep joining, the blogger estimates that the dead won’t outnumber the living on Facebook until around 2130.
This reminds me of an old story from the Middle East.

A man and his servant went from Damascus to a market in Aleppo, when the servant turns around and sees ‘Death’ looking at him and pointing.
untitledThe servant is afraid and says to his Master, “I saw ‘Death’ pointing at me, so please give me your horse that I might flee back home and escape him!”
The servant then rides away and a short time later the Master runs into ‘Death,’ and says to him, “My servant says you pointed to him not half an hour ago?”
‘Death’ says: “I was only surprised to see him here in Aleppo, when I have an appointment with him later today in Damascus!”
Oh, oh!

Well kids, this certainly wasn’t Yogi bear looking for a picnic basket!

imagesCAVODE5ZA Russian man ran into a bear in a raspberry field last week and quickly realized the animal was going to attack.
But the 80-year-old had no intention of giving in. When the bear got close, he brought the rain.
Yusuf Alchagirov kicked the bear, head-butted the confused animal and even tried to kill it with a knife.
He didn’t disable the furry fury but he was able to take it by surprise enough to survive the ordeal.
The bear fought with the shepherd for several minutes and then, apparently done with the old man, threw him off a cliff before meandering away.
“I got off easy,” Yusuf told The Guardian. “It would have killed me if I’d chickened out.”
Easy might be a stretch. Yousef  was hospitalized with broken ribs, bruises and bite wounds  – all of which sounds better than the alternative.
Officials in the Russian region of Kabardino-Balkaria say they are not going to hunt the bear because they think it was “just playing with” Yusuf.

1383349222_honey-boo-boo-heidi-klum-467It’s too bad I already have an “asshole of the day” otherwise this group would have been a shoo-in!
Reality TV worlds collide! Alana “Honey Boo Boo” Thompson and her famous family took on the identities of another well-known clan when they dressed in costume as the Kardashian-Jenner brood for Halloween on Thursday, Oct. 31.
And, just for added measure!
2. Heidi Klum Reveals Incredible Halloween Costume, Is Completely Unrecognizable as an Old Lady: Picture
Heidi Klum’s gonna party like it’s 2049! After much build-up and a few teasing photos of her in the makeup chair before her annual Halloween bash, the Project Runway host finally revealed her 2013 Halloween costume on the night of Thursday, Oct. 31 — herself, a few decades into the future, as an old woman.
3. Heidi Montag Gets Breast Reduction Surgery, Says She “Regrets” Size F Implants
Heidi Montag has gone under the knife once again. The former Hills star, who made headlines back in 2010 for undergoing 10 plastic surgery procedures in one day, recently went back into the operating room to undo something she’d had done before — her size F breast implants.
(I was going to put a picture here …………….,. but who wants to see big, ugly, fatty, flabby things!!!!!!!)