I almost get into a fight at Walmart today!

First of all, I sprained my ankle a few days ago ………., so when I hobbled into Walmart today I saw the electric carts that they normally reserve for the crips, and availed myself of one of them.
After buying a new kettle for the Mrs. Herself, and some duct tape for me, I went to look for some pants in the men’s department.
I found the pair and colour I wanted and was looking for another pair when a guy walked up and said “EXCUSE ME!”
Thinking he just wanted to get past me I backed up the scooter ………, but instead of walking past, he placed himself where I had been, and started looking at pants himself!
I watched him in amazement as he rummaged around for about a minute, and after he picked out a pair of pants I said: “Excuse me, but did you happen to notice that I was also looking at pants here!”
The asshole’s reply was: “What, do you own the store?”
I said: “No, I meant you should wait your fucking turn!!!”
This elicited a string of profanity from him, and the thinly veiled threat that he would punch my lights out if I weren’t a cripple!
That’s when I ran him over with my scooter!

A weekend midair collision over northern Wisconsin sent both planes careening into the ground.
131103195722-01-wisconsin-crash-1103-story-topOne plane was completely destroyed, while the other made a forced crash landing.
Both planes were full of passengers!
Fortunately no one was hurt!

That’s right, it was two planes full of skydivers, and they all bailed out except the guy who landed the second plane.
No one was expecting stellar box office numbers for Diana, the biopic of the late princess of Wales starring Naomi Watts.

However, no one was expecting it to tank they way it did either!
imagesCAO65Z0UAccording to The Hollywood Reporter, the Oliver Hirschbiegel film grossed just $64,914 from 38 theatres.
That meant an average of just $1,708 per location.
So, assuming tickets were $10 each, just 171 people walked into a screening of Diana in each movie theatre during the entire weekend.
That works out to about 20 people per show.
Folks I keep telling you that there is something seriously wrong with the American Justice System when they have the highest percentage of people behind bars …………………., IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!
This will show what I mean:

0dcfddee-a78f-4c5d-89ad-2b43ab6595a9_jory23831986Sticking his nose behind books has landed a Texas man behind bars after he failed to return an overdue text for three years. KWTX.com reported an ordinance in Copperas Cove, Texas allows authorities to issue arrest warrants for late library patrons, and police have just booked a bookworm. Jory Enck had checked out a study guide for the General Educational Development (GED) tests, about three years before police encountered him during an unrelated incident, according to ABC. They found a warrant for his arrest in the system because he had never returned the study guide, and bang, they threw the book at him — the law book, that is.
Police brought Enck to jail but he was later released on a $200 bond with a scheduled court appearance for the charge.
The study guide is back on the shelf at the library.
An international children’s rights group says it has uncovered dozens of Canadians willing to pay to watch a 10-year-old Filipino girl perform sex acts on a webcam during a sting operation.
The group Terres des Hommes, operating out of Amsterdam, says it has identified 54 Canadians among more than 1,000 adults from 71 countries looking for webcam sex tourism.
A spokesman says all the names have been turned over to Interpol.

pdj115-114_2013_081912_high  <————-Hans Guyt, project director of Terre des Hommes, answers questions of reporters in Amsterdam, Netherlands, Monday Nov. 4, 2013.
SO, if you see the cops come and take your neighbour away during the next few days ……………………., you will know why!!!!
The sting involved setting up a pretend 10-year-old girl named “Sweetie,” who signed on to various public chat rooms.
The spokesman says they were surprised at how easy it was to get the men involved to identify themselves.
He also says webcam sex tourism involving children appears to be an emerging market that police do not have a handle on.
AND FINALLY: Since we’re talking about sex……………………!
Have you got enough lead in your pencil? Dot-to-dot version of Kama Sutra sex guide launched.