Talk about yer “Asshole of the Day,” folks.
We have another two for one sale!
Sometimes, a simple plan works best if you’re a criminal. And sometimes, that plan to shove $1,200 worth of meat down your pants and walk out of a supermarket undetected doesn’t end so well.
Police have charged Gregory Rodriguez with grand larceny after accusing him of doing just that at the A&P where he works, reports the local Daily Voice.
Rodriguez was actually arrested a day after the theft, and two burning questions sadly remain unanswered, according to the cops: How many trips did it take, and where’s the meat now?
Best line in a police report in a while: “Agosto mentioned he regretted applying cologne on his person prior to leaving his house.”
It comes in reference to Charles Agosto.
Cops say the 35-year-old refused to stop after a traffic violation and led them on a high-speed chase early Sunday.
He actually got away, at least at first. But after officers spotted his car parked in a driveway, they began searching the neighborhood with dogs.
While they couldn’t see Agosto in the darkness, they could smell him thanks to his heavy cologne.
Agosto was hunkered down in shrubbery, and the search took only a few minutes.
He is charged with attempting to elude a police officer, reckless driving, criminal trespassing and having a foul odour.
Read more:
Here’s a headline that really caught my attention today, bunky!
206 - Copy (3)“This could be the world’s most endangered animal!”
That’s right kids, because the subject in question is ME!
According to the Perspective Research Department there is a 95% chance that your favourite reporter will be EXTINCT within 30 years!
(But I will not go quietly!)
We always thought that Rappers were a little short in the brains department, and this proves it, kids
imagesNG4H0OLMRapper Too Short has been cited at a Southern California airport a day after fleeing a security checkpoint when a screener found a loaded handgun in his carry-on luggage.
Burbank police Sgt. John Pfrommer says the rapper, born Todd Anthony Shaw, was passing through the checkpoint Wednesday when a Transportation Security Administration employee noticed the handgun going through a baggage scanner.
The rapper fled the building, leaving his belongings behind.
Pfrommer says Too Short returned to the airport Thursday with his attorney and was cited on misdemeanor possession of a loaded handgun in a public place.
Tell me what’s wrong with this story folks!
The parents of a Winnipeg girl who was angrily told she isn’t allowed to use the girls’ washroom at school want a human rights investigation.
Eight-year-old Isabella Burgos was born a boy, but this year, the transgender student returned to school as a girl. Her parents say they thought the transition had gone smoothly.
This kid is eight years old, ladies and gentlemen, and the whole thing is wrong on more levels than I can count!
Read more:

A six-year-old sloth, who became a favourite at Montreal’s Biodome during her rehabilitation from a broken leg suffered as a youngster, is now an expectant mother.
The sloth underwent an ultrasound this week, a video of which was released on YouTube.
She is one of four female sloths at the Biodome and she herself was born in the facility.
Few two-toed sloths births have been documented, according to the Biodome, but the gestation period is around 211 months.

imagesB8OE7GU1Westbound express lanes on Highway 401 were blocked late Friday morning after a collision involving a small car and a transport truck.
It is not clear when the lanes will reopen to traffic.
So far, they haven’t announced where this accident occurred, so The Perspective Naked News Departmentif advises that if you’re anywhere on the 401 westbound……………., seek alternate routes to your destination!
untitledWell boys and girls, this is one dirty job where I would bet money that Mike Row wouldn’t do it: Dallas County officials confirmed Thursday that soiled bedding and other possibly contaminated items that belong to Ebola patient Thomas Eric Duncan have been placed in plastic bags inside the apartment where he was staying.
County officials say they had trouble finding a cleaning crew willing to sanitize the residence, but late Thursday night, a crew was seen entering the apartment.
“We’ve used them in HIV/AIDS situations where we needed to do a cleanup and other blood-borne illness cleanup,” said Dallas County Judge Clay Jenkins. “They use appropriate disinfectants, and are appropriately licensed to do that.”
Jenkins said that crew will also be responsible for proper disposal of the contaminated bags.
imagesMRXNH14JAir Canada pilots have been warned, once again, against sneaking porn materials into the cockpit.
Chief Pilot Rob Graham, who is disappointed to have to raise this issue once again, said in an email that once the pilots who “have yet to understand the message” are identified, they will be subject to discipline to the full extent of the law and corporate policies, reported.
A similar warning was issued earlier in 2013, with crew ordered to stop hiding “suggestive images in company aircraft.” (ANI)
Meanwhile, one of the pilots union reps was quoted as saying: “If they’re so damned set against porn on the plane, why do they call it a “cock-pit?”
Officials could not be reached for comment!

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