(Some more funnies to brighten your Sunday morning kids!)
Modern Day Chain Letter
(from Readers Digest)
Dear Friend,
This chain letter was started by a woman like yourself, in hope of bringing relief to tired, disconnected women.
Unlike most chain letters, this one does not cost you anything.
Just send a copy of this letter to five of your female friends who are equally tired. Then bundle up your husband and send him to the woman whose name is at the top of the list, and add your name to the bottom.
When your name comes to the top of the list, you will receive 16,748 men, and some of them will be dandies, I assure you!
Have faith and don’t break the chain . . . (One woman broke the chain and got her own husband back!)
• A couple were discussing their wallpaper, which had just been hung. Don was annoyed at Debby’s indifference to what he felt was a poor job.
“The problem is that I’m a perfectionist and you’re not,” he finally said to her.
“Exactly!” she replied. “That’s why you married me and I married you!”
• Dagwood: “This article looks interesting. It’s titled ‘Older men live longer with younger wives’.”
Blondie: “Really?”
Dagwood: “It’s on page 26…well, page 26 is missing.”
Blondie: “Really?”
• Ellie: “I don’t know if I’m ready to read my poetry on stage, John. What if I panic? What if I make a fool of myself?”
John: “You’ll be fine. You can handle it…you’ve made a fool of yourself before.
• If you love something, set it free,
if it comes back its yours,
if it doesn’t it never was…
…and if it just sits there on the sofa, watching TV,
unaware that it’s been set free,
you probably married it…
• Love means never having to say you’re sorry.
Except when it’s your fault.
Or when it’s his fault but he’s too immature to admit it.
Or when it’s the children’s fault but he’s holding you responsible.
Or when it’s nobody’s fault but he’s looking for a scapegoat.
Or when…
• Never tell your husband anything important without properly preparing him. First get his attention. Make him look you right in the eye. Make him repeat the message three times. However, when the event comes to pass, he will still say “Why didn’t you tell me?”
• Variability is one of the virtues of a woman. It avoids the crude requirement of polygamy. So long as you have one good wife you are sure to have a spiritual harem. (G.K. Chesterton)
• A well-known architect enjoyed putting on old clothes and working in his garden. Humming cheerfully as he trimmed the hedge one day, he was surprised to see a lady pull her car over to the curb near him. “What do you get for being the gardener here?” she asked. “Perhaps I can offer you more to come work for me.” “Oh, I don’t think so,” the architect replied. “The lady here lets me sleep with her.”
• Wife: “John, this is the fourth towel you’ve used in two days…and the sink is full of whiskers. I know these are habits you have developed over the years–but surely you can change!”
Husband: “Why, darling…and let your talent for nagging go to waste?”
• The husband was disturbed by his wife’s indifferent attitude toward him, and the marriage counselor suggested he try being more aggressive in his lovemaking.
“Act more like a romantic lover and less like a bored spouse,” he was advised. “When you go home, make love to her as soon as you meet–even if it is right inside the door.”
At the next consultation the advisor was pleased to hear that the husband had followed instructions. “And how did she react?” the consultant asked.
“Well, to tell the truth,” the husband replied, “she was still sort of indifferent; but her bridge club went absolutely wild!”
• For months Bill had been Lynn’s devoted admirer. At long last he had collected sufficient courage to ask her the momentous question.
“There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor,” Bill began, “but there comes a time when one longs for the companionship of another being, a being who will regard one as perfect, as an idol; whom one can treat as one’s absolute own; who will be kind and faithful when times are hard; who will share one’s joys and sorrows.”
To his delight, Bill saw a sympathetic gleam in Lynn’s eyes. Then she nodded in agreement, “I think it’s a wonderful idea! Can I help you pick out a puppy?”

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