Dear Readers:
Since it’s the American Thanksgiving long weekend, we thought you might like a rest from all the hard news!
The Naked News Department scoured the Internet and came up with these gems for ya!
Lots of gobble and gobbling in Washington on Wednesday. At the White House, President Obama did the traditional thing and pardoned the national Thanksgiving turkey.
1045316-Royalty-Free-RF-Clip-Art-Illustration-Of-A-Cartoon-Cold-Featherless-ChickenActually, two birds were involved – one named “Mac” and the other named “Cheese.”
In an online contest, the nation chose to spare Cheese, but Mac – the alternate – was also subject to the president’s executive action.
“Some will call this ‘amnesty,’ ” he joked.
Where’s the beef?
1144045-Cartoon-Of-A-Chorus-Line-Of-Naked-Men-Dancing-The-Can-Can-Royalty-Free-Vector-ClipartA Texas woman was arrested yesterday for stealing more than $6400 worth of sausage from the Kiolbassa Provision Company, a San Antonio According to an arrest affidavit , Regina Shaw, 45, was linked to the September 14 theft via surveillance footage that recorded her taking a “pallet of meat product” from the purveyor. Shaw, who worked for the firm, was charged with felony theft and booked into the Bexar County jail.
(And it’s not even barbeque season!)
A man is facing a felony menacing charge after two western Colorado sheriff’s deputies say he pointed a banana at them and they thought it was a gun. According to an arrest affidavit, Mesa County deputies Joshua Bunch and Donald Love said they feared for their lives even though they saw that the object was yellow.
17865-Clipart-Illustration-Of-A-Nude-Middle-Aged-Cacuasian-Woman-With-Black-Curly-Hair-Preparing-To-Take-A-ShowerWhat could possibly be worse than a tapeworm in the brain ? Maggots in the nose, possibly. The Independent recounts a horrific-sounding case out of Mumbai, India, where a man underwent a two-hour procedure to have 50 maggots taken out of his nose and sinuses.
Pat Hanson of Central Point says she’s lost about 10 pounds recently, an aftereffect of a fall, and noticed in church earlier this month that her mother’s wedding ring was loose on her finger.
After the service, Hanson used the restroom and, whoops, the ring got flushed.
“I just panicked. I wanted to dive down that toilet right after it,” Hanson told Medford Mail Tribune (
The ring, she said, dates to 1920. Her mother died in 1989, and she’s been wearing it daily since then.
There was little she could do on a Sunday but pray. The next morning, Nov. 10, she and a friend went to the regional sewer utility, Rogue Valley Sewer Services.
Out to the Shepherd of the Valley Catholic Church went four workers, two trucks and portable closed-circuit TV gear.
No luck. The sewer workers broke the news to Hanson. Then the next day, without telling her, they went back to work.
“We didn’t want to get her hopes up,” operations manager Shane Macuk said.
They plugged the sewer main so they could inspect the line when it was dry. They vacuumed up some likely spots for items to accumulate and sorted the vacuumed material in a process similar to panning for gold.
Eventually, worker Travis Cox spotted the ring, and eventually the crew got it out.
With the ring cleaned up, repaired and resized, Hanson is praising the sewer workers and citing the patron saint of lost items.
AND FINALLY: This dog plays dead when picked up by a person he doesn’t like.

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