Allan's Perspective is not recommended for the politically correct, or the overly religious! (Some people have opinions, and some have convictions ..., what we offer is Perspective!)

My wife is right, I am anal retentive...., so now I keep a can of WD-40 next to the toilet! (Sometimes I feel like I'm just a bobble-head on the highway of life!)

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Is your beard really full of poop?

Dear Readers:

Your always topical reporter has worn a bear for most of his life so this is an eye opener!

As a matter of fact, there may be a lot more hairless faces after you hear this.

Turns out men's beards are shockingly dirty.


According to a new study, beards contain just as much, if not more, fecal bacteria as a toilet. KOAT 7 reports that microbiologist John Golobic, of Quest Diagnostics in New Mexico, swabbed a number of beards searching for bacteria.
‘I’m usually not surprised, and I was surprised by this,' said Golobic.

While some beards contained normal bacteria, others contained fecal matter. Although none of the levels were enough to cause illness, Golobic says "there would be a degree of uncleanliness that would be somewhat disturbing."

Your best bet if you're pro-beard: lots of hand washing, a thorough beard scrubbing, and keep your hands away from your face as much as possible. 


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do you want to play with my balls

Is the new children’s book Do You Want to Play with My Balls? real?
Yes … but it’s not really a “children’s book.”
In May 2015, a video featuring a woman reading an “actual children’s book” called Do You Want to Play with My Balls? went viral on YouTube. The book in that video resembles a typical children’s book, featuring pages of illustrations superimposed with simple sentences spoken by child characters. However, all the sentences uttered by those child characters are repetitions of old suggestive jokes involving the duality of the word “ball” as something referring to both a spherical objects used in sports and games and a slang term for a portion of the male genitalia (i.e., the testicles):
Hey Louie! Do you want to play with my balls?
Sure Chuck! I can hold your ball sack so it won’t drag on the ground.
Wow! Your balls are so big, I can’t even fit them in my mouth!
My mom’s always yelling, “Louie! Get those balls out of your mouth before you choke!”
You know that mean girl Sally?
She squeezed my balls so hard they looked funny.
Yeah, well when I play with Sally … I always end up with blue balls.
Billy Johnson made Sally cry last week. Now that kid’s got balls!



While the video left many viewers in hysterics, others were confused by the nature of the book. Was this a real product? Could you buy it in stores? Was it really meant for children? Some publications even condemned the book, terming it the “most disgusting and evilest children’s book ever created!”

do you want to play with my balls 2

However, Do You Want to Play with My Balls? is (like the popular 2001 book Go the F**k to Sleep) is not a work targeted for young readers but rather a parody of children’s books intended for a grown-up audience. Do You Want to Play with My Balls? was written by the Cifaldi Brothers and originally had a very small production run of about 100 copies. When the book became a viral hit, Bum Bum Books decided to put the book back into production and started a Kickstarter campaign to fund the effort:
A few years ago four kind and slightly demented fellows (that’s us!) got together and created a book called Do You Want to Play with My Balls?, a children’s book for adults. Our first attempt at printing the book, however, was only a short run of around 100 copies. We also made our book available digitally in hopes that enough money would be raised to print even more.

Fast forward to today …

Of the 100 or so books that did get printed, one found it’s way onto the internet in the form a young lady reading it out loud. In a very short time this video had over 5 million views, and our collective jaws hit the ground.

So now we are super excited to print Do You Want to Play with My Balls? and get it out to all the people that seem to also love the idea. We have a new printer lined up, a wonderful website, a company name (Bum Bum Books :)) and we’re ready to start shipping. The only problem now is getting the money together to print our next batch of books.
Print copies of the book are currently available for pre-order. You can also get a digital copy of the book from online retailer Amazon or iTunes.
As for the book’s intended audience, Bum Bum Books writes that “Do You Want to Play with My Balls?” is the perfect gift for “parents, fun loving adults, friends, and even young children (though it’s probably best that they’re young enough to not understand the meaning of a pun).”

AND FINALLY: