A woman was flying from Seattle to San Francisco.
Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft, the plane would re-board in 50 minutes.
Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind. The man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her Seeing Eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight.
He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and calling her by name, said, ' Kathy , we are in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?'
Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind. The man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her Seeing Eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight.
He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and calling her by name, said, ' Kathy , we are in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?'
The blind lady replied, 'No thanks, but maybe Buddy would like to stretch his legs.'
Picture this:
All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Seeing Eye dog!
Picture this:
All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Seeing Eye dog!
The Pilot was even wearing sunglasses!
People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!
True story... Have a great day and remember...
True story... Have a great day and remember...
Things aren't always as they appear!
A DAY WITHOUT LAUGHTER
IS A DAY WASTED!!!
-----------------------------------
· I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!
· Old age is coming at a really bad time!
· When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment ... now, it just feels like a small vacation!
· The biggest lie I tell myself is ... "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
· Lord, grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can & the friends to post my bail when I finally snap!
· I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights....” I'm very wise.
· My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.
· Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper.
· If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would’ve put them on my knees.
· The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes”.
· I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do that second week.
· When did it change from "We the people" to "screw the people"?
· I've lost my mind and I’m pretty sure my kids took it!
· Even duct tape can't fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound!
· Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
· Lord, Give me patience and give it to me NOW!
· Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?
· At my age "getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
------------------------------------------------
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Registration on the first day back at school in northern England.......
Ahmed Al Sheriah
"here"
Mustafa Al Sheriah
"here"
Fatima El Bindiri
"here"
Ali Acmah Shabeeb
"here"
Ali Sun Al En
No answer
Ali Sun Al En?
Little girl at the back stands up and says "It's pronounced Alison Allen, for f---- sake."
----------------------------------------
And finally:
----------------------------------------
And finally:
Two women were sitting next to each other in a bar.
After a while, one looks at the other and says, 'I can't help but think,
from listening to you, that you're from Ireland .'
The other woman responds proudly, 'Yes, I sure am!'
The first one says, 'So am I! And whereabouts in Ireland are ya from?'
The other woman answers, 'I'm from Dublin , I am.'
The first one responds, 'So, am I!! And what street did you live on in
Dublin ?'
The other woman says, 'A lovely little area. It was in the west end. I
lived on Warbury Street in the old central part of town.'
The first one says, 'Faith, and it's a small world. So did I! So did
I! And what school did ya go to?'
The other woman answers, 'Well now, I went to Holy Heart of Mary, of
course..'
The first one gets really excited and says, 'And so did I! Tell me,
what year did you graduate?'The other woman answers, 'Well, now, let's
see. I graduated in 1964.'
The first woman exclaims, 'The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I
can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same pub tonight!
Can you believe it? I graduated from Holy Heart of Mary in 1964 meself!'
About this time, Michael walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a
beer.
Brian, the bartender, walks over to Michael shaking his head and mutters,
'It's going to be a long night tonight.'
Michael asks, 'Why do you say that, Brian?'
Brian answers, 'The Murphy twins are pissed again'.
After a while, one looks at the other and says, 'I can't help but think,
from listening to you, that you're from Ireland .'
The other woman responds proudly, 'Yes, I sure am!'
The first one says, 'So am I! And whereabouts in Ireland are ya from?'
The other woman answers, 'I'm from Dublin , I am.'
The first one responds, 'So, am I!! And what street did you live on in
Dublin ?'
The other woman says, 'A lovely little area. It was in the west end. I
lived on Warbury Street in the old central part of town.'
The first one says, 'Faith, and it's a small world. So did I! So did
I! And what school did ya go to?'
The other woman answers, 'Well now, I went to Holy Heart of Mary, of
course..'
The first one gets really excited and says, 'And so did I! Tell me,
what year did you graduate?'The other woman answers, 'Well, now, let's
see. I graduated in 1964.'
The first woman exclaims, 'The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I
can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same pub tonight!
Can you believe it? I graduated from Holy Heart of Mary in 1964 meself!'
About this time, Michael walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a
beer.
Brian, the bartender, walks over to Michael shaking his head and mutters,
'It's going to be a long night tonight.'
Michael asks, 'Why do you say that, Brian?'
Brian answers, 'The Murphy twins are pissed again'.
Two women were sitting next to each other in a bar.
After a while, one looks at the other and says, 'I can't help but think,
from listening to you, that you're from Ireland .'
The other woman responds proudly, 'Yes, I sure am!'
The first one says, 'So am I! And whereabouts in Ireland are ya from?'
The other woman answers, 'I'm from Dublin , I am.'
The first one responds, 'So, am I!! And what street did you live on in
Dublin ?'
The other woman says, 'A lovely little area. It was in the west end. I
lived on Warbury Street in the old central part of town.'
The first one says, 'Faith, and it's a small world. So did I! So did
I! And what school did ya go to?'
The other woman answers, 'Well now, I went to Holy Heart of Mary, of
course..'
The first one gets really excited and says, 'And so did I! Tell me,
what year did you graduate?'The other woman answers, 'Well, now, let's
see. I graduated in 1964.'
The first woman exclaims, 'The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I
can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same pub tonight!
Can you believe it? I graduated from Holy Heart of Mary in 1964 meself!'
About this time, Michael walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a
beer.
Brian, the bartender, walks over to Michael shaking his head and mutters,
'It's going to be a long night tonight.'
Michael asks, 'Why do you say that, Brian?'
Brian answers, 'The Murphy twins are pissed again'.
After a while, one looks at the other and says, 'I can't help but think,
from listening to you, that you're from Ireland .'
The other woman responds proudly, 'Yes, I sure am!'
The first one says, 'So am I! And whereabouts in Ireland are ya from?'
The other woman answers, 'I'm from Dublin , I am.'
The first one responds, 'So, am I!! And what street did you live on in
Dublin ?'
The other woman says, 'A lovely little area. It was in the west end. I
lived on Warbury Street in the old central part of town.'
The first one says, 'Faith, and it's a small world. So did I! So did
I! And what school did ya go to?'
The other woman answers, 'Well now, I went to Holy Heart of Mary, of
course..'
The first one gets really excited and says, 'And so did I! Tell me,
what year did you graduate?'The other woman answers, 'Well, now, let's
see. I graduated in 1964.'
The first woman exclaims, 'The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I
can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same pub tonight!
Can you believe it? I graduated from Holy Heart of Mary in 1964 meself!'
About this time, Michael walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a
beer.
Brian, the bartender, walks over to Michael shaking his head and mutters,
'It's going to be a long night tonight.'
Michael asks, 'Why do you say that, Brian?'
Brian answers, 'The Murphy twins are pissed again'.
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