Allan's Perspective is not recommended for the politically correct, or the overly religious! Some people have opinions, and some have convictions ..., what we offer is Perspective! (Sometimes I feel like I'm just a bobble-head on the highway of life!)

I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around! ("If it is true that humans share 44% of their DNA with bananas, then how, when, and why did it become so much more difficult to drive a stick-shift? Answer me that , eh!")

Saturday, January 30, 2016

Saturday Morning Confusion: Aw Shit!

Dear Readers:

You have probably seen that CBC TV program "Schitt's Creek" and this has raised the question: "Just who is Jack Schitt?"

Naturally one of our readers came through ......, and sent THIS in to the Perspective Naked News Department!:

Allan:


For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?

We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't  know Jack Schitt!'

Well, thanks to genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.
Awe Schitt was married to O. Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, and owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc.

They had one son, Jack.
In  turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt.

The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt,  Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against  her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.


After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name.

She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition who was nick-named Chicken Schitt.

Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.

The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.

He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

SO!
Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct  them.

Sincerely,

Crock O. Schitt