In the past we have talked about various conspiracy theories and how there are enough nuts around to believe just about anything ya can possibly think up, (look at all the cults, 9/11 conspiracies, who shot JFK, moon landings, flying saucers, etc. etc.) but I just ran across a bunch of stories that make them seem tame by comparison.
Here's a few of them!
1. Look around you. If you're in a room with 25 other people, odds are at least one of them believes the world is run by lizard people, according to a recent poll. Conspiracy junkies are well aware of the theory that cleverly disguised reptilian aliens traveled to Earth thousands of years ago to infiltrate our highest echelons of government. Proof exists in the form of terrifying YouTube videos revealing news anchors with reptilian eyes, and lack of any better explanation for Rob Ford.
2. There are those that believe that the AIDS virus was engineered as an experiment in the 1970’s, and turned lose in Africa. Some say it was created primarily for the purpose of killing off people of African descent. A more “inclusive” theory purports that it was released by the CIA to help reduce the world’s population as a whole. We know they are doing all kinds of weird things with genetics these days, so it’s not hard to believe that creating a nasty organism like the AIDS virus is possible. Releasing it with the intent of killing people? We’ll leave it to you to make your own judgment.
3. Now that even Bill Nye has weighed in on the debate about creationism and evolution, some of us would welcome any sort of common ground between science and religion. The ancient alien theory may offer a solution: Adam and Eve were extraterrestrials who traveled to Earth aboard a space ark piloted by—you guessed it—Noah.
Predictably, the conspiracy theorists say, proof of this story abounds—but the government insists on keeping it all under lock and key. Several "scholars" now claim that, through the Freedom of Information Act, they were finally able to access piles of declassified documents. Official reports, they say, prove that a flying saucer once crashed into Mt. Ararat in Turkey, where it is traditionally believed that Noah's ark came to rest after the great Flood.
Anyway, it just doesn't seem likely that Noah's intergalactic starship, after tumbling through space and dodging meteor showers, finally ran aground in Turkey. But forgetting this silly story for a second, there is the real scientific idea of panspermia, which raises the possibility that our planet's first single-celled organisms have extraterrestrial origins.
4. In the 1980s German historian Heribert Illig noticed that there were scant archaeological records from 614 to 911 A.D. Obviously, he concluded, those 300 or so years of history simply never happened. Illig's phantom time hypothesis motions that all documents referring to that time period were forged, and that contemporary archaeologists work hard to cover up the truth. We currently live in the year 1708, and someone has been messing with our calendars.
Fortunately, we can check on alleged calendar discrepancies by looking at bygone cosmic events. Through the study of ancient astronomy, scientists can prove that phenomena such as Halley's comet have occurred at regular, predictable intervals for thousands of years. Ancient Chinese astronomers took great pains to record the exact position of Halley's comet in the sky about once every 76 years, and modern astronomical software can be used to verify their sightings. Scientists definitely would have noticed if conspiring historians had lobbed off three centuries along the way.
5. So you don't believe that man has walked on the moon. Fine. You weren't there, you didn't see it yourself, and you're a bit skeptical. But there is no way anyone could deny the existence of the moon itself, right? Right??
According to a few conspiracy theorists, it turns out the moon is just a convincing hologram, placed in the sky to mess with our heads. Naturally, there is proof in the form of a poorly made YouTube video that shows a power glitch in the moon's artificial electrical system. The Mad Revisionist took the time to parody moon deniers at great length, but it seems that several people didn't get the joke. For a more complete survey of conspiracy theorists who are clearly over the moon, Google "the moon is a hologram," and prepare to be abundantly disappointed.
6. There’s no doubt that the facility the U.S. Government erected in Alaska is home to a pretty weird-looking contraption. HAARP, or High-frequency Active Auroral Research Program, is its name, and it was designed to analyze the atmosphere with the idea of improving communications and surveillance technology. Many believe that its purpose is far more sinister, and that it has the ability to control the weather, even using weather as a weapon of war. There are also claims that it can trigger earthquakes and tsunamis. Is that possible? Who knows. Would they do it if they could? Almost certainly.
7. Scientists were pretty much asking for it. A natural successor to Area 51, CERN's Large Hadron Collider (LHC) is a secret underground laboratory that just begs conspiracy theorists to speculate wildly. And speculate they have.
Conspiracy theorists tried to sue CERN in 2008 for almost sucking the entire planet into a black hole, but another idea is far more creative. Turns out, the occult scientists at CERN are building a star gate to revive Osiris, ancient Egyptian god of the dead. And they have photographic proof: A statue of the Hindu god Shiva stands at the entrance to the LHC.
Put aside the fact that physics experiments can't bring back the dead. Fine. But what the heck does a statue of a multiarmed Hindu god have to do with reviving Osiris? One of the largest Hindu sects in India considers Shiva their supreme god, and odds are that a religious researcher at CERN decided to invite his lord into the lab. Admittedly, it made for a pretty interesting Bring Your God to Work Day.
8. FEMA is the U.S. Government’s Federal Emergency Management Agency, and they have come under more and more scrutiny in recent years as a favorite target of conspiracy theorists who say the agency has plans to enslave the U.S. population and put us all in prison camps. Somehow or another, someone stumbled upon what was said to be some 500,000 plastic coffins stacked close to a major road in the state of Georgia. It has been said that the coffins were there in preparation for those who somehow meet their end when the government decides to enact martial law prior to populating the prison camps. Short of going for a visit, there’s no way to be certain these coffins are where they are said to be, and even if they are coffins at all. If we presume they are real, and that perhaps they are for a more typical use, like for the military, it would still be unsettling. A half-million casualties would be a lot even for a major (conventional) war.
9. FROZEN NAZIS By “frozen” we don’t mean dead, just really, really cold, like anyone would be in Antarctica. This wild conspiracy theory says that Adolph Hitler actually escaped in a submarine at the end of World War II with a few of his most-trusted Nazi pals and made their way to Antarctica. It gets better. For some reason, a super-advanced race of aliens who live inside the earth (it’s hollow!) took a liking to Adolph and his boys and took them under their collective wing, so to speak. We’re not sure where the story goes from there, but maybe Hitler has something to do with all the crazy UFO sightings we’ve been hearing about for so many years.
10. For some people, where they were and what they were doing when they heard that Princess Diana had been killed is something they will never forget. Naturally, when a beloved public feature like Princess Diana is killed, there will be countless conspiracy theories regarding what “really” happened. One of the most enduring conspiracy theories was that she was killed by the Royal Family to prevent her from marrying her fiancé, Dodi Fayed, who was a Muslim.
AND AS AN ADDED BONUS! Many of us have been told since childhood that fluoride is good for our teeth. These days, a lot of people aren’t buying into the notion that it has been added to drinking water, toothpaste and mouthwash to improve our health. Some conspiracy theories claim that fluoride is meant to cause more sickness among the population, thereby increasing profits for the pharmaceutical industry and medical establishment. Others say that it affects the brain and is intended to “dumb down” the population. Looking at the world as it is today, we don’t find either theory all that hard to believe.