Happy Valentines Day!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO ALL YOU SWEETHEARTS OUT THERE!!!!!!

AN IRISH MAMMY'S LETTER TO HER SON       Dear Son,

 

Just a few lines to let you  know I'm still alive.  I'm writing this 
letter slowly because I know  you can't read fast.


We are all doing very well.

You won't  recognise the house when you get home - we have moved. Your 
dad read in  the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles 
from your home,  so we moved 30 miles away.

I won't be able to send you the address because  the last Irish family 
that lived here took the house numbers when they  moved so that they 
wouldn't have to change their address.

This  place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not 
sure it  works so well though:  last week I put a load in, pulled the 
chain  and haven't seen it since.

Your father's got a really good job now.  He's got 500 men under him - 
he's cutting the grass at the  cemetery.

Your sister Mary had a baby this morning but I haven't  found out if 
it's a boy or a girl, so I don't know whether you are an  auntie or an 
uncle.

Your brother Tom is still in the army.   He's only been there a short 
while and they've already made him a court  martial!

Your Uncle Patrick drowned last week in a vat of whiskey  in the 
Dublin Brewery.  Some of his workmates tried to save him but  he fought 
them off bravely. They cremated him and it took three days to  put out 
the fire.

I'm sorry to say that your cousin Seamus was  arrested while riding 
his bicycle last week.  They are charging him  with dope peddling.

I went to the doctor on Thursday and your  father went with me.  The 
doctor put a small tube in my mouth and  told me not to talk for ten 
minutes. Your father offered to buy it from  him.

The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice this week,  first for 
three days and then for four days. Monday was so windy one of  the 
chickens laid the same egg four times.

We had a letter from the  undertaker.  He said if the last payment on 
your grandmother's plot  wasn't paid in seven days, up she comes.

About that coat you wanted  me to send you: your Uncle Stanley said it 
would be too heavy to send in  the mail with the buttons on, so we cut 
them off and put them in one of  the pockets.

John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We  were really worried 
because it took him two hours to get me and your  father out.
 
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a  pick-up truck. Ralph was 
driving. He rolled down the window and swam to  safety.  Your other two 
friends were in the back. They drowned  because they couldn't get the 
tailgate down.

There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

Your loving  Mum.

P..S. I was going to send you some money but I had already  sealed the 
envelope.