Never mind the lack of black representation at the Oscars kids, our 'Naked News' staff noted that there was not a single Indigenous Native American, or Chinese, musician, singer, composer or lyricist represented at last nights Grammy Awards!
I had the people over in the Perspective Research Department do a bit of digging, and it seems there has never been someone of an Oriental background nominated for ANYTHING at the Grammy's, and no Indian has been seen there since Buffy St. Marie and Robbie Robertson of the Band! (Who are Canadian, by the way!)Some people think Chet should be included here, but truth be known, she's mostly white, so it's doubtful if she would qualify!
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AND: In keeping with this fine tradition of Political Correctness that is slowly spreading throughout the world, we have news that the 'Left Wing' is making inroads with the British Navy!
Not only Britannia!
The Royal Navy is proud to announce its new fleet of Type 45 destroyers
Having initially named the first two ships HMS Daring and HMS Dauntless,the Naming Committee has, after intensive pressure from Brussels, renamed them HMS Cautious and HMS Prudence.
The next five ships are to be HMS Empathy,
HMS Circumspect, HMS Nervous, HMS Timorous and HMS Apologist.
Costing £850 million each, they comply with the very latest employment, equality, health & safety and human rights laws.
The Royal Navy fully expects any future enemy to be jolly decent and to comply with the same high standards of behaviour.
The new user-friendly crow's nest has excellent wheelchair access.
Live ammunition has been replaced with paint-balls to reduce the risk of anyone getting hurt and to cut down on the number of compensation claims.
Stress counselors and lawyers will be on board, as will a full sympathetic industrial tribunal.
The crew will be 50/50 men and women, and will contain the correct balance of race, gender, sexuality and disability.
Sailors will only work a maximum of 37hrs per week as per Brussels Rules on Working Hours, even in wartime.
All the vessels are equipped with a maternity ward, and a gay disco.
Tobacco will be banned throughout the ship, but recreational cannabis will be allowed in wardrooms and messes.
The Royal Navy is eager to shed its traditional reputation for; "Rum, sodomy and the lash"; so out has gone the rum ration, replaced by sparkling water.
Sodomy remains, now extended to include all ratings under 18. The lash will still be available on request.
Saluting of officers is now considered elitist and has been replaced by "Hello Sailor".
All information on notice boards will be in 37 different languages and Braille.
Crew members will now no longer have to ask permission to grow beards and/or moustaches.
This applies equally to female crew.
The MoD is inviting suggestions for a "non-specific" flag because the White Ensign may offend minorities. The Union Jack must never be seen.
The newly re-named HMS Cautious will be commissioned shortly by Captain Hook from the Finsbury Park Mosque who will break a petrol bomb over the hull.
She will gently slide into the sea as the Royal Marines Band plays "In the Navy" by the Village People.
Her first deployment will be to escort boatloads of illegal immigrants to ports on England 's south coast.
The Prime Minister said, "Our ships reflect the very latest in modern thinking and they will always be able to comply with any new legislation from Brussels ."
His final words were, "Britannia waives the rules."
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