Paddy and Mick are two Irishmen working at the local sawmill.
One day, Mick slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw. Paddy quickly puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Mick to the local hospital.
Next day, Paddy goes to the hospital and asks after Mick. The nurse says, "Oh he's out in Rehab exercising".
Paddy couldn't believe it, but there's Mick out the back exercising his now re-attached arm. The very next day he's back at work in the saw mill.
A couple of days go by, and then Mick slips and severs his leg on another bloody big saw.
So Paddy puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Mick off to Hospital.
Next day he calls in to see him and asks the nurse how he is. The nurse replies, "He's out in the Rehab again exercising".
And sure enough, there's Mick out there doing some serious work on the treadmill. And very soon Mick comes back to work.
But, as usual, within a couple of days he has another accident and severs his head.
Wearily Paddy puts the head in a plastic bag and transports it and Mick to hospital.
Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Mick is. The nurse breaks down and cries and says, "He's dead."
Paddy is shocked, but not surprised. "I suppose the saw finally did him in."
"No", says the nurse, "Some dopey idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated.
A woman ran a red traffic light and crashed into a man's car.
The man replied, "I agree with you completely. This must
The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle.
The man nodded his head in agreement, opened it, drank half
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
She replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police."
Adam ate the apple, too! Men will never learn!
husband in first.
The husband was a bit embarrassed, but told the doctor he had trouble
getting an erection with his wife and she was getting frustrated.
The doctor checked the man’s blood pressure and other things, then
said he was now going to check the wife.
He took her to another cubicle and asked her to disrobe. Then he told
her to turn all the way around slowly.
She did as instructed. He then told her to turn all the way around in
the other direction.
Then he said: "Ok, good - you can get dressed now, and I will talk to
The doctor went back to the other cubicle and said to the husband,
"Well, you can relax, I am happy to tell you that there is nothing
wrong with you.
I couldn't get an erection either."