Sunday Morning Funnies # 224

23 Emotions People Feel But Can’t Explain

• Sonder: The realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own.
• Opia: The ambiguous intensity of Looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable.
• Monachopsis: The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.
• Énouement: The bittersweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self.
• Vellichor: The strange wistfulness of used bookshops.
• Rubatosis: The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat.
• Kenopsia: The eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that is usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet.
• Mauerbauertraurigkeit: The inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like.
• Jouska: A hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head.
• Chrysalism: The amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm.
• Vemödalen: The frustration of photographic something amazing when thousands of identical photos already exist.
• Anecdoche: A conversation in which everyone is talking, but nobody is listening
• Ellipsism: A sadness that you’ll never be able to know how history will turn out.
• Kuebiko: A state of exhaustion inspired by acts of senseless violence.
• Lachesism: The desire to be struck by disaster – to survive a plane crash, or to lose everything in a fire.
• Exulansis: The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it.
• Adronitis: Frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone.
• Rückkehrunruhe: The feeling of returning home after an immersive trip only to find it fading rapidly from your awareness.
• Nodus Tollens: The realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore.
• Onism: The frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time.
• Liberosis: The desire to care less about things.
• Altschmerz: Weariness with the same old issues that you’ve always had – the same boring flaws and anxieties that you’ve been gnawing on for years.
• Occhiolism: The awareness of the smallness of your perspective.

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 A woman from New York was driving through a remote

>> part of Arizona when her car broke down.

>> An American Indian on horseback came along and offered

>> her a ride to a nearby town.

>> She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off.

>> The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the

>> Indian would let out a 'Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a' so loud that it

>> echoed from the surrounding hills and canyon walls.

>> When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service

>> station, yelled one final 'Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' and rode off.

>> "What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the

>> service-station attendant.

>> "Nothing," the woman answered  "I merely sat behind him on

>> the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the

>> saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."

>> "Lady," the attendant said, "Indians don't use saddles." 

--------------------------------
 

>>
> >> A blonde lady motorist was about
> >> two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose
> >> truck
> >> had broken down……
> >>
> >> The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San
> >> Diego?"
> >>
> >> "Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?"
> >>
> >> "Not for me. I'll be spending the
> >> next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two
> >> chimpanzees
> >> in the back that have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They're a
> >> bit
> >> stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day.
> >> Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you $100 for
> >> your trouble”
> >>
> >> "I'd be happy to," said the blonde.
> >>
> >>
> >> So the two chimpanzees were ushered
> >> into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into
> >> their
> >> seat belts, and off they went.
> >>
> >> Five hours later, the truck driver
> >> was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was
> >> horrified!
> >>
> >> There was the blonde walking down
> >> the street, holding hands with the two chimps, much to the
> >> amusement of
> >> a big crowd.
> >>
> >> With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to
> >> the blonde.
> >>
> >> "What are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you $100 to take
> >> these chimpanzees to the zoo!"
> >>
> >>
> >> "Yes, I know you did," said the blonde. "But we had money left
> >> over so now we're going to Sea World."
> 

-----------------------------------

>A old man walks into the barbershop for a shave and a haircut,
>
> But he tells the barber he won't be able to get all his whiskers off
> because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.
>
> The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells
> him to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.
>
> When he's finished, the old man tells the barber that was the cleanest
> shave he's had in years.
>
> But he wanted to know what would have happened if he had swallowed
> that little ball.
>
> The barber replied,"Just bring it back in a couple of days like
> everyone else does".

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