Allan's Perspective is not recommended for the politically correct, or the overly religious! Some people have opinions, and some have convictions ..., what we offer is Perspective! (Sometimes I feel like I'm just a bobble-head on the highway of life!)

I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around!

Sunday, June 26, 2016

Sunday Morning Funnies # 224



  • Sonder: The realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own.
  • Opia: The ambiguous intensity of Looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable.
  • Monachopsis: The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.
  • Énouement: The bittersweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self.
  • Vellichor: The strange wistfulness of used bookshops.
  • Rubatosis: The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat.
  • Kenopsia: The eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that is usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet.
  • Mauerbauertraurigkeit: The inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like.
  • Jouska: A hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head.
  • Chrysalism: The amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm.
  • Vemödalen: The frustration of photographic something amazing when thousands of identical photos already exist.
  • Anecdoche: A conversation in which everyone is talking, but nobody is listening
  • Ellipsism: A sadness that you’ll never be able to know how history will turn out.
  • Kuebiko: A state of exhaustion inspired by acts of senseless violence.
  • Lachesism: The desire to be struck by disaster – to survive a plane crash, or to lose everything in a fire.
  • Exulansis: The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it.
  • Adronitis: Frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone.
  • Rückkehrunruhe: The feeling of returning home after an immersive trip only to find it fading rapidly from your awareness.
  • Nodus Tollens: The realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore.
  • Onism: The frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time.
  • Liberosis: The desire to care less about things.
  • Altschmerz: Weariness with the same old issues that you’ve always had – the same boring flaws and anxieties that you’ve been gnawing on for years.
  • Occhiolism: The awareness of the smallness of your perspective.

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-------------------------

 A woman from New York was driving through a remote
>> part of Arizona when her car broke down.
>> An American Indian on horseback came along and offered
>> her a ride to a nearby town.
>> She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off.
>> The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the
>> Indian would let out a 'Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a' so loud that it
>> echoed from the surrounding hills and canyon walls.
>> When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service
>> station, yelled one final 'Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' and rode off.
>> "What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the
>> service-station attendant.
>> "Nothing," the woman answered  "I merely sat behind him on
>> the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the
>> saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."
>> "Lady," the attendant said, "Indians don't use saddles." 

--------------------------------
 


>>
> >> A blonde lady motorist was about
> >> two hours from
San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose
> >> truck
> >> had broken down……
> >>
> >> The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San
> >> Diego?"
> >>
> >> "Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?"
> >>
> >> "Not for me. I'll be spending the
> >> next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two
> >> chimpanzees
> >> in the back that have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They're a
> >> bit
> >> stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day.
> >> Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you $100 for
> >> your trouble”
> >>
> >> "I'd be happy to," said the blonde.
> >>
> >>
> >> So the two chimpanzees were ushered
> >> into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into
> >> their
> >> seat belts, and off they went.
> >>
> >> Five hours later, the truck driver
> >> was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was
> >> horrified!
> >>
> >> There was the blonde walking down
> >> the street, holding hands with the two chimps, much to the
> >> amusement of
> >> a big crowd.
> >>
> >> With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to
> >> the blonde.
> >>
> >> "What are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you $100 to take
> >> these chimpanzees to the zoo!"
> >>
> >>
> >> "Yes, I know you did," said the blonde. "But we had money left
> >> over so now we're going to Sea World."
-----------------------------------



>A old man walks into the barbershop for a shave and a haircut,
>
> But he tells the barber he won't be able to get all his whiskers off
> because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.
>
> The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells
> him to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.
>
> When he's finished, the old man tells the barber that was the cleanest
> shave he's had in years.
>
> But he wanted to know what would have happened if he had swallowed
> that little ball.
>
> The barber replied,"Just bring it back in a couple of days like
> everyone else does".
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