For once it's a Saturday morning and your humble author is not confused in the least!
The reason I'm so positive about this is because the story concerns "Don the Con" Trumplethinskin and Salma Hayek ......, and it makes perfect sense!
Seems "The Donald" wanted to go out on a date with Salma many years ago but when he phoned her she said:
2. Even if I didn't, I wouldn't go out with you anyway!
(Seems Salma had his number too, if ya know what I mean!)
WELL, we all know that "The Donald" doesn't take rejection lightly, so the asshole phones "The National Enquirer" and starts spreading all sorts of dirt about her!!! (Yup, she had his number all right!)
By the way Donald, here's what ya missed out on because you're such an asshole!
Academy member Per Wastberg told Swedish television: "He is who he is," adding that there was little surprise Dylan had ignored the news.
"We were aware that he can be difficult and that he does not like appearances when he stands alone on the stage," he told Sweden's Dagens Nyheter newspaper in a separate interview.
It is still not known if he will travel to Stockholm to receive the prize on 10 December. If he does not, a ceremony marking his career will go ahead as planned, Mr Wastberg said.
Mr Wastberg called the snub "unprecedented", but one person has previously rejected the Nobel Prize in Literature - French author and philosopher Jean-Paul