He's an old guy but I guess we will all be that sooner or later ....., so it might make sense to remember this!
As I Grow Older
Since it was such a dreary day, I sat in my recliner and
started thinking about life...! I came to realize that as I have grown older I've learned
that: Pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off
is a piece of cake!
Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore, a friend of
mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband!
Lance Armstrong... I think it is just terrible and
disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he
achieved winning 7 Tour de France races while on drugs. When I was on drugs, I
couldn't even find my bike!!
Drive By... Someone broke into my house last week. They
didn't take my TV, just the remote. Now they drive by and change the channels. Sick
bastards!!!
The Agony of Aging… On the morning that Daylight Saving
Time ended I stopped in to visit my aging friend. He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish. I
said to him, "You better get your hearing checked - You're supposed to
turn your clock back"!!
Video Scam… Just got scammed out of $25. Bought Tiger
Woods DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes". Turns out it's all about golf. Absolute waste of
money! Pass this on so others don't get
scammed.
Pregnant Prostitute… Doctor asks a pregnant prostitute,
"Do you know who the father is?" "Hey dumb ass", she replied, "if you ate a
can of beans would you know which one made you fart!"
No comments:
Post a Comment