After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible storm. They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
‘I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained, 'and I'm afraid the neighbours will talk if I let you stay in my house.'
'Don't worry,' John said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light.' The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.
But about nine months later, John got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the golf weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Shawn and asked, "Shawn, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our golf holiday in Scotland about 9 months ago?'
‘Yes, I do,' said Shawn
'Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?'
'Well, um, yes!,' Shawn said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I did.'
Shawn's face turned beet red and he said, 'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did. Why do you ask?'
‘She just died and left me everything.'
As a car speeds past them, the driver leans out his window and yells, "Leave people alone, you religious nutters. We don't need your lectures.”
Shaking his head, Father Patrick says "Dat's da terd one dis mornin’."
The strongest muscle in proportion to its size in the human body is the tongue.
Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
A person cannot taste food unless it is mixed with saliva. For example, if strong-tasting substance like salt is placed on a dry tongue, the taste buds will not be able to taste it. As soon as a drop of saliva is added and the salt is dissolved, however, a definite taste sensation results. This is true for all foods. Try it!
The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks otherwise it will digest itself
Humans are the only primates that don't have pigment in the palms of their hands.
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.
Dogs have four toes on their hind feet, and five on their front feet.
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
A cockroach will live nine days without it's head, before it starves to death.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
Elephants are the only mammals that can't jump.
Starfish don't have brains.
Polar bears are left handed.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
An ostrich's eye is bigger that it's brain.
The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.
The fingerprints of koala bears are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene.
Snails can sleep for 3 years without eating
Porcupines float in water.
Armadillos are the only animal besides humans that can get leprosy.
Many hamsters only blink one eye at a time.
A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
A male emperor moth can smell a female emperor moth up to 7 miles away.
A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue!
Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into to shark's stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.
Ten percent of the Russian government's income comes from the sale of vodka.