Allan's Perspective is not recommended for the politically correct, or the overly religious! Some people have opinions, and some have convictions ..., what we offer is Perspective!

Consciousness is not a phenomenon of the observable universe. It is that which makes the universe observable. Consciousness is the physical manifestation of God within us!

Sunday, 21 May 2017

Sunday Morning Funnies for Intelligent People!

Dear Friends: "Let's get things back into Perspective!"

Surround Yourself With Intelligent People.

Donald Trump  met with the Queen of England, and he asked her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government?  Are there any tips you can give me?"

"Well," replied the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."

Trump frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"

The Queen took a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle."

The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "Please send Theresa May in here, would you?"
Theresa May walked into the room and said, "Yes, Your Majesty?"
The Queen smiled and said, "Answer me this, if you would, Theresa. 

Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister.  Who is it?"
Without  pausing for a moment, Theresa May answered, "That would be me."
"Yes! Very good," said the Queen.
Trump went back home to ask Mike Pence the same question.
" Mike, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child.  

It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," said Pence. "Let me get back to you on that one."
He went to his advisers and asked everyone, but none could give him

an answer.
Finally, Pence ran in to Sarah Palin in a restaurant the next night.

Pence asked, "Sarah, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Sarah Palin answered right back, "That's easy, it's me!"
Pence smiled, and said, "Thanks!"
Pence then, went back to speak with Trump. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle.

It's Sarah Palin!"
Trump got up, stomped over to Pence, and angrily yelled,   
"No, you idiot!   It's Theresa May!"



Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning.

It was a fine spring day in his new Washington D.C. Parish.

He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside.

He then noticed there was ... A donkey lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.

He promptly called the White House .

The conversation went like this:

"Good morning. This is Donald Trump, How might I help you?"

"And the best of the day te yerself . This is Father O'Malley at
Ann’s Catholic Church. There's a donkey lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o'yer lads to take care of the matter?"

Trump , considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the Irish accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father, replied, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!"

There was dead silence on the line for a moment ... Father O'Malley then replied:

"Aye,' tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call."