Sunday Morning Funnies # 16 2/3

Dear Friends: Today's post is short and sweet!

The sharing in marriage....

The old man placed order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing
one half in front of his wife.

He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two
piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup
down between them . As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the
people around them were looking over and whispering.

Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can
afford is one meal for the two of them.'

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and
politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man
said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything.

People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a
bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking
turns sipping the drink.

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another
meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used
to sharing everything.'

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with
the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who
had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is it you are
waiting for?'

She answered

(Continue below - This is great)









'THE TEETH.'   

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Tony and Yvonne were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years.  Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because Tony watched their pennies.

Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to Yvonne's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.

One day, their good health didn't help when they went on yet another holiday and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.
They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet. They gasped in astonishment when he said, 'Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now.'

Tony asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. 'Why, nothing,' Peter replied, 'remember, this is your reward in Heaven.'
Tony looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth..
'What are the greens fees?,' grumbled Tony..
'This is heaven,' St. Peter replied.
'You can play for free, every day.'

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.

'Don't even ask,' said St. Peter to Tony. This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy.'
Tony looked around and glanced nervously at Yvonne. 'Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods and the  decaffeinated tea?,' he asked
That's the best part,' St. Peter replied. 'You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like and you will never get fat or sick.

This is Heaven!'
'No gym to work out at?' said Tony
'Not unless you want to,' was the answer.
'No testing my sugar or blood pressure or...'
'Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself.'
Tony glared at Yvonne and said, 'You and your friggin' Bran Flakes. We could have been here ten years ago!'