The left-wing is crazy and the right-wing scares the shit out of me!

Allan's Perspective is NOT recommended for the politically correct, or the overly religious. Some people have opinions. Some people have convictions......... What we offer is PERSPECTIVE!




Sunday 7 January 2018

Sunday Morning Funnies About Drumpf!

The US Postal Services created a stamp with a picture of President Trump,but the new stamp was not sticking to envelopes.
This enraged the President who demanded a full investigation.
After weeks of testing and spending $1.73 million in congressional spending, a special Presidential commission presented the following findings:
The stamp is in perfect order.
There is nothing wrong with the adhesive.
The problem is that People are spitting on the wrong side.
**
Donald Trump, Barack Obama, The Pope and a small Mexican kid were on a plane. The plane was plummeting and was going to crash into a building. There were only 3 parachutes.
"I'm the greatest man here, I'll take a parachute", said Obama.
"I'm the smartest man here so I'll take a parachute", said Trump.
They both grabbed their parachutes a leapt out of the plane.
The pope said to the young boy. “Go ahead son, take the parachute.”
The boy replied "It's alright father, the smartest man in the world just took my school bag."

**

On the night of his inauguration, Trump is visited by three ghosts.
Early in the night, FDR appears. When Trump asks him how he can make America great, FDR replies “Think only of the people; do not make laws based on hatred, bigotry, or with the thought of lining your own pockets.” Trump’s face sours and he yells “FAKE NEWS.”
A few hours later he is awakened by George Washington’s ghost. Trump asks “How can I make America great again”? Washington replies “I would suggest you never tell a lie,” which infuriates Trump.
Around three in the morning he is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. Again, he asks “How can I make America great again”? Lincoln responds, “Go to the theater.”
**

Donald Trump and Mike Pence are having lunch in a restaurant. The waitress comes over to take their order, Mike orders the salad, Trump puts down the menu & says, “Miss, I’d really, really love a quickie”. The waitress stalks off in absolute disgust. Mike leans across and says, “Donald! It's a quiche!”

**

God asks Bush: "What do you believe in?"


Bush answers: "I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation!"


"Very well," says God. "Come sit to my right."
Next, God asks Obama: "What do you believe in?"


Obama answers: "I believe in the power of democracy, and equal rights for all."


"Good,” says God. "You shall sit to my left."
Finally, God asks Trump: "What do you believe in?"
Trump answers: "I believe you're sitting in my chair."

**
And finally:


Back in 2016 there was a good joke about Trump.


It went something like this. “He will never be elected President.”


There was a variant of this joke and it went something like this, “He will never win the nomination of the Republican Party”

 


The way I see it anyway!
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