Sunday Morning Funnies #10

California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic.

It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.



The new wine will be marketed as................!



PINO MORE!

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Male/Female Differences according to a woman!

God made men and women to complement each other with the unique traits we were each given:

WOMEN
Women have strengths that amaze men. They carry children, they carry hardships, they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love, and joy.

They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.

Women wait by the phone for a "safe at home call" from a friend after a snowy drive home. They are child care workers, executives, attorneys, stay-at-home moms, biker babes, and your neighbors. They wear suits, jeans, and they wear uniforms.

They fight for what they believe in. They stand up for injustice. They walk and talk the extra mile to get their children in the right schools and get their family the right health care. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

Women are honest, loyal, and forgiving. They are smart, knowing that knowledge is power. But they still know how to use their softer side to make a point.

Women want to be the best for their family, their friends, and themselves.
Their hearts break when a friend dies. They have sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.

A woman can make a romantic evening unforgettable.

Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes. They live in homes, apartments, and cabins. They drive, fly, walk, run, or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin! Women do more than just give birth. They bring joy and hope. They give compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends. And all they want back is a hug, a smile, and for you to do the same to people you come in contact with.

MEN
Men are good at lifting heavy stuff!

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SO! Just to get even!

The Fishing Trip...

Dave and his buddies were hanging out and planning an upcoming fishing trip.

Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go this time because his wife wouldn't let him.

After a lot of teasing and name calling, Dave headed home frustrated.

The following week when Dave's buddies arrived at the lake to set up camp, they were shocked to see Dave. He was already sitting at the campground with a cold beer, swag rolled out, fishing rod in hand, and a camp fire glowing.

"How did you talk your missus into letting you go Dave?"

"I didn't have to," Dave replied. "Last week when I left our meeting, I went home and slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows.

Then the ol' lady snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise'."

"When I peeled her hands back she was standing there in a beautiful see through negligee and she said, ' Carry me into the bedroom and tie me to the bed and you can do whatever you want'.....

SO HERE I AM!"

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know......!) and is available as an E-Book H E R E! and H E R E! And as a paperback H E R E ! and H E R E !