Allan's Perspective is not recommended for the politically correct, or the overly religious! Some people have opinions, and some have convictions ..., what we offer is Perspective! (Sometimes I feel like I'm just a bobble-head on the highway of life!)

I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around!

Sunday, October 15, 2017

Weather or not it's raining!

Image result for walking in storm clipartWell they had their hurricanes in the Caribbean, and Florida and Texas and Mexico and Louisiana (as well as various earthquakes and wildfires) but now we're getting the tail end of one of the hurricanes here in S.W. Ontario. (I've lost rack of which one this is since there are so many of them.)

It might not even be a tropical storm anymore kids, but there are still winds of 50 - 70 m.p.h. and the rain tends to go sideways instead of straight down so there is plenty of punch left in this old blow-hard yet!

Apparently there's also another hurricane that missed the coast of North America and it is currently on its way across the Atlantic ocean to hammer Ireland and Scotland.

Seems nobody's safe anymore folks!

The way I see it anyway!

Sunday Morning Funnies About the Irish.

Well folks, it seems that we can't joke about the Black's, Indians, Chinese or Pakistani's anymore, so the only ones left are the Newfi's and the Irish.

Here goes with the Irish:

****************


Into a Belfast pub comes Philip O’Connor, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. 
His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, His face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp 
"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender. 
" Jamie O'Shay and me had a fight," says Phil. 
"That little shit, O'Shay," says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you, He must have had something in his hand." 
"That he did," says Phil, "a shovel is what he had, And a terrible lickin' he gave me with it." 
" Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, Didn't you have something in your hand?" 
That I did," said Phil. 
"Mrs. O'Shay's breast, and a thing of Beauty it was, but useless in a fight."

***********
An Irishman who had a little too much to drink 
Is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.
A cop pulls him over. 
"So," says the cop to the driver, Where have ya been?" 
" Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk. 
" Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening." 
"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile. 
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, 
"that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?" 
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. 
"For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

****************
 
Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, 
When Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. 
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. 
"I've somethin' to tell ya". 
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. 
But where's my husband?" 
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda." 
There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery.." 
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me." 
"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus Is dead and gone. I'm sorry. 
Finally, she looked up at Tim. 
"How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat 
Of Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear! But you must tell me truth, Tim. 
Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, Brenda... No. In fact, he got out three times to pee."


********************
 
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. 
He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?" 
She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. 
My husband passed away last night." 
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. 
Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?" 
She says, "That he did, Father." 
The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?" 
She says, he said, 'Please Mary, put down that gun...'

*********************************************************

ANDTHE BEST FOR LAST
A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, 
Enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. 
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there. 
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall. 
The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either!




Saturday, October 14, 2017

Saturday Morning Confusion About Don the Con!



Dear Friends: "Let's get things back into perspective here!" (An excerpt from 'The Atlantic' magazine.)

Guest Post by


I always thought that the President of the United States was supposed to be the defender of the Constitution!


Whereas Donald J. Trump stood beneath American flags on the steps of the United States Capitol on January 20, 2017, placed his hand on a Bible, and spoke these words:
I, Donald John Trump, do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States; and will, to the best of my ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States, so help me God.
Whereas the Constitution of the United States reads in part, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.”
Whereas Trump has responded to news coverage he dislikes by advocating that the freedom of the press be abridged by bureaucrats and legislators; and by calling the press a public enemy and a target of his “drain the swamp” agenda.
 
For example:
  • It’s frankly disgusting the way the press is able to write whatever they want to write and people should want to look into it.”
  • “Network news has become so partisan, distorted and fake that licenses must be challenged and, if appropriate, revoked. Not fair to public!”
  • With all of the Fake News coming out of NBC and the Networks, at what point is it appropriate to challenge their License? Bad for country!”
  • “Why Isn’t the Senate Intel Committee looking into the Fake News Networks in OUR country to see why so much of our news is just made up-FAKE!”
  • Drain the Swamp should be changed to Drain the Sewer - it’s actually much worse than anyone ever thought, and it begins with the Fake News!”
  • “With all of its phony unnamed sources & highly slanted & even fraudulent reporting, #Fake News is DISTORTING DEMOCRACY in our country!”
  • “The FAKE NEWS media (failing @nytimes, @CNN, @NBCNews and many more) is not my enemy, it is the enemy of the American people. SICK!”
Whereas Trump has responded to protected speech he dislikes by calling for a punitive government response and issuing commands to private citizens like a king or tyrant.
For example:
  • It is about time that Roger Goodell of the NFL is finally demanding that all players STAND for our great National Anthem-RESPECT OUR COUNTRY”
  • “Why is the NFL getting massive tax breaks while at the same time disrespecting our Anthem, Flag and Country? Change tax law!”
  • “The NFL has all sorts of rules and regulations. The only way out for them is to set a rule that you can’t kneel during our National Anthem!”
  • “The issue of kneeling has nothing to do with race. It is about respect for our Country, Flag and National Anthem. NFL must respect this!”
  • “If a player wants the privilege of making millions of dollars in the NFL,or other leagues, he or she should not be allowed to disrespect”
Whereas the aforementioned statements, individually or in aggregate, establish a clear pattern of failing to defend the Constitution and repeated attacks on its Bill of Rights.

Whereas it is a high crime to violate one’s sworn oath to the supreme law of the land.
 
Wherefore, Donald John Trump, through flagrant violations of the oath he took before God, country, and flag, warrants impeachment, trial, removal, and public disgrace.

(The way we see it anyway! -Ed.)

https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2017/10/impeach-donald-trump-article-one/542841/

P.S. I HATE TO SAY THIS FOLKS, BUT I HOPE DON THE CON TRUMPLETHINSKIN STAYS IN OFFICE ..., BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY OF US DEPENDING ON HIM FOR COPY!

Friday, October 13, 2017

Well worth the 30 seconds it takes to read!



Well worth the 30 seconds it takes to read!

{1}

Once all villagers decided 
to pray for rain.

On the day of prayer all 
the people gathered,

But only one boy came with 
an umbrella.

That's 
FAITH
 .


{2}

When you throw babies in 
the air,

They laugh because they 
know you will catch them.

That's 
TRUST.


{3}

Every night we go to 
bed

Without any assurance of 
being alive the next morning,

But still we set the 
alarms to wake up.

That's 
HOPE.


{4}

We plan big things for 
tomorrow

In spite of zero knowledge 
of the future.

That's 
CONFIDENCE.


{5}

We see the world 
suffering,

But still we get married 
and have children.

That's 
LOVE.


{6}

On an old man's shirt was 
written a sentence

'I am not 80 years 
old;

I am sweet 16 with 64 
years of experience.'

That's 
ATTITUDE.


Have a happy day and live 
your life like the six stories.

When I was a child, I 
thought nap time was punishment. Now it's like a 
mini-vacation.