Sunday Morning Funnies!

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.
When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."
He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling." So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."
Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."

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Points to Ponder

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a
leaky tire.

It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the
neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

It's a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning
to others.

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities
without your help.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car
payments.

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was
probably worth it.

If you haven't much education you must use your brain.

You can't strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.

Who gossips to you will gossip of you.

When someone says, "Do you want my opinion?" - it's always a negative
one.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle
them gently.

The word listen contains the same letters as the word silent.

The trouble with work is - it's so daily.

The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.

Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people are crazy. Check 3 friends, if
they are OK, you're it.

Pain and suffering is inevitable but misery is optional.