Saturday Morning Confusion!

If you have never been to Wallaceburg let me give you some advice!

Keep it that way!

Wallaceurg is a small town halfway between Sarnia and Chatham with a few thousand bored, and boring individuals. Every guy over the age of sixteen wears a Massey Ferguson hat, and the women all drive pickup trucks. (See how your fearless writer can alienate an entire town in one fell swoop?)

I know all about Wallaceburg because my dad and I were the Volkswagen dealers in Sarnia and we opened a branch office in Wallaceburg back in the eighties. I had to spend over a year looking after the place so I drove back and forth six times a week and got to know the town real well!

(Wallaceburg had more strip bars per population at the time than any place I have ever seen. No movie theatre, one bowling alley, two pool halls, four restaurants and a mall with six stores in it was all there was! Matter of fact, the only thing good about Wallaceburg, was that it was better than Cornwall, Ontario.)

The reason I'm telling you all this is because some of the people in Wallaceburg liked to drink beer..................., SURPRISE!

Apparently things haven't changed much either.

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CHATHAM, Ont. — A 50-year-old Wallaceburg, Ont., man faces an impaired charge after police found him unconscious in his car in a beer store parking lot last night.

Police had received a call from a concerned citizen. The caller knocked on the window several times, but the man was unresponsive.

An officer arrived and was able to eventually rouse the man, who exhibited signs of impairment, police said. (When asked what he was doing in the beer store parking lot, the man replied that he was waiting for it to open! -Ed.)

The man was transported to police headquarters for breath testing.

The results indicated his blood-alcohol concentration was about 2 ½ times the legal limit, police said.

He now faces a charge of impaired care and control of a motor vehicle.

By QMI Agency