Contributed by Pat Corcoran
The Assignment: Create characters using old photos then get them on the Titanic where they interact with characters created by other students. The students include incongruous bits of unexplained information. Spelling errors have been left intact to add emfasis. ;)
I have what some one might call a pre Madonna personality.
my brother’s name is George and I have a goldfish named Fred.
I live in a big house in Fresno and my dog died of tuberculosis.
I weigh 200 pounds and I have a dog named Ralph.
I like to collect stamps and my father works in a bank.
Hannibal is a small town and my name is Lawrence.
My brother is in an insane asylum….explain why?
I am fourteen and I hate my mother.
We’re very rich and we live in a tent.
I am confident, friendly, nice and smart and I’ve got to look good because I have a girlfriend but that’s not necessarily true.
Sometimes I like to read with my best friend James and little brother I always whoop on them though.
We have to horses one of them are mine and the other one is my sisters. We like to race. My sister is 18 years old her name is Sarah, I enjoy having her around a lot.
I have a medium-sized family, but I only no less than half because they live so far away.
My dog’s name is Red because he is all red!!
I am shapely and thick but have a great sense of humor.
I dream about drinking a cup of coffee with my gal and playing cards with her by a fire.
My eyes are green my hair is gray It is neatly cut, short, and small.
I collect foreign coins and other foriegn things. I like to write and play piano.
It has black spots on him and the rest of him is black.
My house in is mid condition.
By the way I am a lumberjack and today’s date is April 7, 1897.
I am very funny but other people don’t think so.
I had a girl friend named Linda Dawson but she went to Yale University.
I am a retired housewife with a pet parakeet.
Go to London and maybe visit England on the way back.
Go to the statue of liberty and look at Pearl harbor.
I was taking a warm bath when I felt a thug.
I just aborted the ship, the Titanic. It feels great!
Student Gibberish Dept.
contributed by Pat Corcoran
More gems from student writing assignments:

my favorite physician is wide receiver

I think athlete’s get more etention because people think they are more important because they are more comen and people actioly now them because most are still alive not like Albert Instin of corse he invented the light builb but no bud really cares becasue the think It’s alway going to be there (sic)

Dear Helen Keller,
Your life was pretty cool like when you got that really high fever and went deaf, dumb, and blind and was left in the dark by your self with no one to talk to or do anything with.

When asked what will the world be like in fifty years…I had a student say “I think the would (sic) will be ok in fifty years. It would be a new look nike shoe might go out of stile (sic) and NFL jackets to. Little house on the preary look might in stile.

I also had a kid answer the question “Please list the Eight parts of speech”
lisping, stammering, stuttering, public speaking, dialect, communication. speech therapy
(as opposed to noun, verb, preposition, etc.)

One kid complained about prejudicism in “Driving Miss Daisy
Summer School Students
contributed by D.F.
True stories from Summer School…

On the second day of summer school, I had the kids working in vocabulary books. T.J. came to the word ‘humanitarian’ and he was having trouble with it. I asked him if he knew what the word meant. He thought a minute, and then said confidently, “it’s an animal that eats humans!”

Yesterday, I asked a student to move his seat and he said, “I’m fine here.”
This lead to a ‘teachable moment’ about insubordination. Sitting in a big circle, I asked the kids if they understood what the word insubordination meant.
One student raised his hand and yelled, “It’s when a woman is pregnant and wants to get rid of her baby on the operating table.”