Paris Hilton was back in the news today, because she lost a contact lens, or something or other!
I have no idea what it was because I didn’t pay any attention!
HERE’S SOMETHING YA DON’T SEE EVERYDAY: Twin boys were born eight days apart in a rare arrival at the IWK Health Centre in Halifax this week.

Edonna Bean’s pregnancy with the twins was considered high risk, so she came to Halifax from Bermuda because of the IWK’s world-class facilities.
She thought she arrived plenty early, but the babies came soon, if not on the same day. Pregnancies usually last 38 weeks, but she went into labour at 25 weeks. She said the staff were wonderful.

Her son Emyr was born weighing one pound 14 ounces.
But then her contractions subsided. Her second twin seemed to be happy where he was.
“Each day that I woke up he was relaxing and playing and having a good old time with the extra space. It was wonderful,” she said.
Because the babies were so premature, every extra day in utero was important. But after eight days, Bean got an infection and her second boy, Esai, was delivered by caesarean section.
Folks, your always perplexed reporter doesn’t know how they figure these things out, but apparently animals weren’t knee deep in dinosaur dung back in the Lower Cretaceous period, (about 120 million years ago)

imagesCAN38FG7Common knowledge held that since dinosaurs were so big ……………………, there was dinosaur poop up to your gazoo all over the place!
But there wasn’t kids!
No sir!
We don’t know how they figured it out, but all that shit was eaten by ancient cockroaches in the now-extinct Blattulidae family!
<– So it’s no wonder these things got to be bigger than your entire hand! (This is a smaller, modern day version!)
A man who was doing time for his 19th drinking and driving conviction has died, prison officials say.
Kenneth Lawrence Obey, 56, was an inmate at the Willow Cree Healing Lodge on the Beardy’s and Okemasis reserve near Duck Lake, Sask.
Mr. Obey was attempting a world record 20 DUI’s, but fortunately died on his 19th attempt. (At the time he died, Obey had about two and a half years left on his prison sentence.!)

The judge went on to note “Mr. Obey’s record for drinking and driving offences is, frankly, shocking” and listed 18 convictions for impaired driving between 1981 and 2005.

Abused at Indian Residential School

The judge said Obey’s drinking and driving problems began after he left an Indian Residential School, where he had been abused as a student.
“He recognizes that he uses alcohol to mask his pain and forget his residential school experience,” Tomkins said.
Prior to his arrest in 2012, Obey had been addressing his alcoholism but, according to his lawyer, a large compensation payment for the abuse as a youth drove him over a “psychological cliff”, and he returned to his old, destructive habit.
From many years of similar experience, I can tell you for a fact that “Residential School” had nothing to do with it kids, the guy was just plain, ordinary, fucking drunk!
Speaking of DRUNKS: Big news out of Newfoundland this morning!

imagesCAVIP3KIPolice in Corner Brook responded to a disturbance on O’Connell Drive shortly after 1 a.m. Saturday between a female victim, 34, and a 28-year-old man.
Shortly before Royal Newfoundland Constabulary officers arrived, the man left the area.
The RNC said the accused  was quickly located, and police arrested the man for assault causing bodily harm, plus three counts of breaching conditions of three court orders.
The accused was held in custody overnight to appear in court this morning.
The RNC said the two were known to each other and that alcohol WAS a factor.
(Well, that was Friday night in Newfoundland……………., wait till I tell ya tomorrow about what happens on a SATURDAY night!)
And just so you don’t think it’s only in Newfoundland that things get crazy once in a while………………………………!

HALIFAX – Halifax Water says about 100 homes in the Herring Cove area are without water after a pipe broke early today.
april01Spokesman James Campbell says the water main break on Herring Cove Road near Green Acres Road happened sometime before 5 a.m. and water was cut off soon after.
Campbell says it’s not known what caused the break, but he says crews are working to fix the issue and water service should be restored around 6 p.m.
The work is expected to hold up traffic.

e9e68a8f-f00d-40db-a554-3f704122e7f5_LadyGagaHOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF YOUR SON BROUGHT THIS HOME TO MEET THE FAMILY?
Lady Gaga channeled her inner Boy George Friday afternoon as she exited her hotel in London in an outfit (and makeup) likely worn by the Culture Club front man back in his heyday.
What do you make of the “Applause” singer’s flamboyant ensemble, which consisted of a large hat, Picasso-style sweater, pink skirt, and lemon-hued kicks?
She may be a fashion chameleon, but, in our opinion, she’ll never be a Karma Chameleon.

imagesCATWAHXIReports into the Perspective Research Department, by way of the Naked News staff, tell us that a runaway reindeer broke free from Santa Claus at a Colorado mall Thursday while the Big Man was inside visiting with children.
KYSL in Summit County reports ( ) that Donner escaped outside the La Riva Mall in Dillon.

untitledWhile Santa was inside listening to children’s Christmas wish lists, Donner jumped over the enclosure, leading police officers on a healthy jog through town.
He was finally located by a nearby reservoir.
The Summit County sheriff’s office said they brought in Rudolph to lure Donner back into a trailer.
AND FINALLY: Reindeer are popping up all over the place!