Sunday Morning Funny!

                                   

               

Dear Readers:
We had the Naked News staff go out and collect a few jokes  …, here’s some we consider darn funny!
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It’s a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, “Hey, mamacita, let’s do Weeweechu.”
Oh no, not now, let’s look at the moon!” said Rosita.
Oh, c’mon baby, let’s you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it’s the perfect time,” Pedro begged.
“But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon.” replied Rosita.
Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me.”
Rosita looked at Pedro and said, “OK, one time, we’ll do Weeweechu.”
Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang…..
“Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year.”
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Frank always looked on the bright side. He would constantly irritate his friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how horrible the circumstance, he would always reply, “It could have been worse.” To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a situation so completely bad, so terrible, that even Frank could find no hope in it.
On the golf course one day, one of them said, “Frank, did you hear about Tom? He came home last night, found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both and then turned the gun on himself!”
“That`s awful,” said Frank, “But it could have been worse.”
“How in the hell,” asked his bewildered friend, “Could it have been worse?”
“Well,” replied Frank, “If it happened the night before, I`d be dead now!”

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What kind of concert only costs 45 cents?
50 cent featuring Nickelback.

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A guy walks into a bar and sees 3 pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. The guy asks, “What’s this about?”
The bartender replies, “Well, if you can jump up and slap the meat, you get free drinks for the rest of the night. If you miss, you pay for everyone’s drinks for the next hour. You wanna do it?”
The guy replies, “Nah, the steaks are too high.”

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A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Not aware that 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet.
The boy now has company. Boy: “Dark in here.” Man: “Yes it is.” Boy: “I have a baseball.” Man: “That’s nice.” Boy: “Want to buy it?” Man: “No, thanks.” Boy:

“My dad’s outside.” Man: “OK, how much?” Boy: “£250.”
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom’s lover are in the closet together.
Boy: “Dark in here.” Man: “Yes, it is.” Boy: “I have a baseball glove.” Man: “That’s nice.” Boy: “Want to buy it?” Man: “No, thanks.” Boy: “I’ll tell.” Man: “How much?” Boy: “£750.” Man: “Fine.”
A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your glove. Let’s go outside and toss the baseball!” The boy says, “I can’t. I sold them.” The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?” The son says, “£1,000.” The father says, “That’s terrible to over-charge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”
They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.
The boy says, “Dark in here.” The priest says, “Don’t start that shit again.”

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A woman marries a man and has 10 children. The man dies, so the woman remarries and has 10 more children. The next man dies so the woman remarries again and has ten more children. That man dies so the woman remarries and has 10 more children. The husband dies again and finally the woman dies as well. At the funeral, the priest mutters: “Good god! They’re finally together!’ A man at the funeral asks another man on his left: “Which husband do you think he means? The first, second, or third?” The man on his left says; “I think he means her legs”

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 So a skeleton walks into a bar, he says to the bartender “Give me a beer and a mop”

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A grasshopper works into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey! We have a drink named after you!”. Confused, the grasshopper replies, “You have a drink named Steve?”

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A guy sees a three-legged pig at a new friends farm. He asks why the pig has three legs. His friend says “Let me tell you about that pig, he’s a hero. Last year my house caught on fire, and that pig knocked down my door, and dragged my unconscious body outside to safety.” The guy asks “Oh, that’s how he lost the leg, in the fire?” His friend says “Oh, no, when you have a good pig like that, you dont want to eat him all at once.”

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A horse walks into a bar. He walks up to the bartender and says “Give me a beer.” The bartender is stunned, so he heads to the back of the bar to speak with the owner.
“Hey boss” he says, “there’s a horse in the bar asking for a beer.”
The bar owner pauses for a second, then replies “Well then give him one, but charge him double. Horses don’t know the price of beer.” So the bartender heads back out front and hands the horse a beer.
“You know,” says the barkeep, “we don’t get many horses around here.”
To which the horse replies, “At these prices I’m not surprised.”

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Now THAT’S funny!