Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving.
They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says:
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk."
"Is, Luis, eet sure smell like bacon."
With renewed hope, they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon, every imaginable kind of cured pork.
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved! Ees a bacon tree!"
"Luis, maybe ees a meerage?
We ees in the desert don't forget."
"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon?
Ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree!"
With that, Luis staggers towards the tree.
He gets to within 5 yards, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock.
Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath:
"Pepe, go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"
"Luis, Luis miamigo, what ees it?"
"Pepe ees not a bacon tree. Ees...
Ees... a ham bush."
Just couldn't help it!
Little voices made me do it!
And I bet you tried to do the accent didn't you?
Letters To God
In Sunday School they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation? - Jane
I think about You sometimes even when I'm not praying. - Elliot
I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday.
That was cool! - Eugene
Are you really invisible or is that a trick? - Lucy
Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? - Norma
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones You have now? - Cindy
Who draws the lines around countries? - Nan
The bad people laughed at Noah - "You made an ark on dry land you fool".
But he was smart, he stuck with You. That's what I would do. - Edward
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? - Neil
Thank You for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy. - Joyce
Why is Sunday School on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest. - Tom
One said "Ya know, since summer started I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything--noise, spray, cats--nothing seems to scare them away.
Another said "Yea, me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the narthex attic. I've even had the place fumigated, and they won't go away."
The third said, "I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church...
Haven't seen one back since!!!"
You’re not a monk!