Sunday Morning Funnies # 12,644

Dear Friends:

·  If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they'd eventually find me attractive.

 ·      Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.

 ·      Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

 ·      I'm great at multi-tasking--I can waste time, be unproductive, and  procrastinate all at once. 

·      If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

 ·      Take my advice — I'm not using it.

 ·      My wife and I were happy for twenty years; then we met.

·      Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they're at home when you wish they were.

·      Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

·      Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

 ·      Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.

 ·      He who laughs last thinks slowest.

 ·      Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?

 ·      I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.

 ·      Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

 ·      I was going to wear my camouflage shirt today, but I couldn't find it. 

 ·      If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

 ·      If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?

·      Money is the root of all wealth.

 ·      No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

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Hi Sweetheart, I am sorry about getting into an argument about putting up the Christmas lights.  I guess that sometimes I feel like you are pushing me too hard when you want something.

 I realize that I was wrong and I am apologizing for being such a hard-headed guy.  All I want is for you to be happy and be able to enjoy the holiday season.

Nothing brightens the Christmas spirit like Christmas lights!  I took the time to hang the lights for you today; and now I will be off to play some golf... 

Again, I am very sorry for the way I acted yesterday.  I'll be home late.

 Her response -   

Hi Honey, 

Thank you for that heart-felt apology. I don't often get an apology from you, and I truly appreciate it. I, too, 
felt bad about the argument and wanted to apologize.

I realize that I can sometimes be a little pushy.  I will try to respect your feelings from now on.  Thank 
you for taking the time to hang the Christmas lights for me.

It really means a lot. In the spirit of giving, I washed your truck for you; and now I am off to the mall.

I love you too! 

.