Illegal immigrants of Canada's doorstep because of Trump after all!

Dear Friends: (Or if I was from Nigeria I would say"Dearly Beloved.")

It seems people in the United States are making a run for the border, only it's the Canadian one, not the Mexican one, since that's getting a yuge wall! Believe me!

BUT: All these folks aren't your white middle class suburbanites kids ......, they are mostly African and Muslim immigrants to the States, who are afraid Donald Drumpf is going to deport them. (Be afraid - be very afraid!)

In Manitoba alone there have been almost 500 people claiming asylum in the past year, but we here a the Perspective Research Department see a big problem with this!

WHY ARE PEOPLE WHO COME FROM HOT CLIMATES GOING TO MANITOBA?

P.S. Rumours are now circulating that Russia has a whole bunch of shit on Donald, including pictures of him with Russian prostitutes, and details of some very unsavory bank deals! (According to an anonymously-sourced dossier, Donald Trump also paid to watch hookers piss on a Russian hotel bed where he knew President Obama and his wife had once slept.)

P.P.S. My wife keeps calling Trump a "nasty man," and I have to keep reminding her that the correct pronunciation is "asshole!"

- Stay tuned!