Allan's Perspective is not recommended for the politically correct, or the overly religious! (Some people have opinions, and some have convictions ..., what we offer is Perspective!)

My wife is right, I am anal retentive...., so now I keep a can of WD-40 next to the toilet! (Sometimes I feel like I'm just a bobble-head on the highway of life!)

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Sunday Morning Funnies # 3.14


Dear Friends:

A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two young people show up. One is a good looking guy in his twenties and the other is a gorgeous blonde about the same age.

The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you both better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment - a chair, a whip, and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"

The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her, so she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body.

The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her ankles. He continues to lick her calves, kisses them, and then rests his head at her feet.

The circus owner's mouth is on the floor. He remarks, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the young man and asks, "Can you top that?"

"No problem," replies the young man, "just get that lion out of the way."

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I went into my proctologist's office for my first rectal exam.


His new blond nurse, Evelyn, took me to an examining room. Told me to get undressed and have a seat, until the doctor could see me. She said that he would only be a few minutes.

After putting on the gown that she gave me I sat down.
 
While waiting, I observed that there were three items on a stand next to the exam table:


A Tube of K-Y jelly,
A rubber glove
And a beer .

When the doctor finally came in, I said,  "Look Doc, I'm a little confused. This is my first exam .. I know what the K-Y is for
 
And I know what the glove is for,

But can you tell me what the BEER is for?"

At that Doctor Paul became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the door.

He flung the door open and yelled to his new nurse . . .

Darn it, Evelyn!

I said a BUTT LIGHT "

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