THEOLOGY: A lot of really smart people thinking and saying really stupid stuff!

We are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different. -Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Friday, 19 December 2014

Stop monkeying around!



Here’s something that will make Pam Anderson and her buddies a whole lot happier, folks!
Animal-rights advocates seeking “personhood” for chimpanzees want to take their case to the highest court in New York State.
Since 2013, an organization called the Nonhuman Rights Project has been seeking a writ of habeas corpus to free a pet chimpanzee named Tommy from the cage in which he is housed in upstate New York.
Earlier this month, three judges with New York’s Third Judicial Department ruled that Tommy is not entitled to the rights of a human. They wrote that there is no precedent or legal basis for considering animals as people, and that people, at least under the legal definition, must have the ability to bear legal responsibilities.
“Needless to say, unlike human beings, chimpanzees cannot bear any legal duties, submit to societal responsibilities or be held legally accountable for their actions,” the judges wrote in their seven-page decision. “In our view, it is this incapability to bear any legal responsibilities and societal duties that renders it inappropriate to confer upon chimpanzees the legal rights — such as the fundamental right to liberty protected by the writ of habeas corpus — that have been afforded to human beings.”
But in a new motion for permission to bring the case to the New York Court of Appeals, advocates with the Nonhuman Rights Project said the judges made several errors in their decision. They argue that a person’s right to bodily liberty does not depend on a person’s species or ability to perform legal duties. In an affidavit filed this week, the organization also claims, “New York has expressly granted personhood to certain nonhuman animals by allowing ‘domestic or pet’ animals to be trust beneficiaries.”
“We have always expected that this case would have to be decided at the highest level,” Natalie Prosin, executive director of the Nonhuman Rights Project, said in a statement today (Dec. 18). “We hope we are granted permission to appeal to the Court of Appeals so that we can give Tommy his day in court.”
Personally, I think monkeys should be considered people ………….., as long as they pay their taxes! -Ed.
Mark my words folks, you give those damned, dirty apes an inch, and they will take a mile!
Here’s what will happen next!

imagesOne of our readers had the perfect solution to all those people jumping the fence and attacking the White House!
“Put up a bigger fence, stupid!
A Hamilton writer is recruiting people to buy tickets to comedian Bill Cosby’s upcoming performance in the city so they can disrupt the show inside the theatre.
Anne Bokma said “the numbers are growing every day” of people planning to join her for a non-violent protest during Cosby’s Jan. 9 show at Hamilton Place Theatre.
bill-cosby-old-allegationsBokma said she’s been contacted through her website by both people who want to join her by buying $90 tickets, and people who have tickets to the show who don’t want to go anymore and are unable to get refunds. They’re giving Bokma their tickets so she can distribute them to people prepared to be part of the protest.
“There will be an interruption,” she said. “Exactly what we’re doing and how many people, I can’t tip my hand.”
Extra, Extra, read all about it!!!!
Since we’re talking about Bill Cosby, we here at the Perspective Research Department have finally manged to clear up some misconceptions about Bill, and all those allegations about sexual misconduct.
Folks, Bill only “played” a gynecologist in his TV show…………………., he wasn’t really one!
Hope this clears things up!
By Sarah Larimer
A 27-year-old Florida woman, Rachel Anne Hayes, was taken into custody Thursday after slapping a 72-year-old woman who wouldn’t accept her Facebook friend request, the Pinellas County sheriff’s office said in a news release.
(Some friend, eh?)
We got a real life “Winner of the Day” folks!
imagesCA6LHLW7Rick Holley didn’t think it fair that he got a bonus when his shareholders didn’t.
So the chief executive officer of Plum Creek Timber Co. gave it back.
Yes, really.
“The award, which would have vested entirely on Feb. 3, 2017, was made to Mr. Holley as incentive for him to remain in his position as chief executive officer for the next several years,” the Seattle-based real estate investment trust said in a regulatory filing this week, referring to the 44,445 restricted stock units awarded by his board’s compensation committee.
“However, in light of prevailing economic conditions, Mr. Holley elected to return the restricted stock units because he does not believe that he should receive such an award unless Plum Creek’s stockholders see an increase in their investment return.”
Mr. Holley also told Fortune that the move was a surprise to his board.
“I told them I wasn’t asking for their approval,” he told the magazine.
untitled“They had given these to me and I appreciated their confidence in me, but I didn’t feel comfortable taking them … This has been a year where total shareholder returns are down 10 per cent or more. It just wasn’t the right thing to do.”
Those units are worth just shy of $1.9-million (U.S.), based on yesterday’s New York close.
Folks, I’m not going to say a bloody word …………….., because I’m not that stupid!
Instead, I will just let you watch this video!

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Thursday, 18 December 2014

Well, I can’t think of everything!

Allan's Perspective



Dear Readers:
I forgot to write anything today!
It was either because of all that stuff I had to get done, or it’s the early onset of Al’s – Heimers!
Oh well ………………..!
There’s always tomorrow.

As a substitute host for the day, we have this!

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Wednesday, 17 December 2014



Dear Readers:
This might not be of interest to anyone not of a certain age and from Toronto, but since I practically grew up on this street it held a lot of memories for me!
Posted by Chris Bateman / December 17, 2014
toronto yorkvilleNo neighbourhood in Toronto has undergone a more seismic aesthetic and ideological shift as Yorkville over the the last 50 years. What started as an independent, working class village north of Toronto became Canada’s Greenwich Village, a mecca for hippies and alternative lifestyles in the 1960s. A few decades later, the bare feet and cafes had been replaced by designer clothing stores and high-end hotels.
Here are 10 quirky things you didn’t know about Yorkville.
Yonge and Bloor used to be the site of a pauper’s cemetery
Officially known as the Toronto General Burying Grounds, the Strangers’ Burying Ground or Potter’s Field (a biblical name given to a number of nondenominational cemeteries around the world) was a place where anyone could be buried, regardless of religion. Between 1826 and 1855, 6,685 people were interred in the then-rural location near Yonge and Bloor. The bodies were exhumed and relocated to the Necropolis and Mount Pleasant Cemetery in the two decades after the cemetery closed.
toronto yorkville mr. subMr. Sub was founded in Yorkville
The first store in the Canadian hoagie empire opened at 130 Yorkville Ave. in 1968 under the more formal title of Mr. Submarine. Barefoot hippies gathered outside its entrance in the late 1960s, strumming acoustic guitars. Four years after it was founded, under the guidance of former dishwasher Gus Boulis, the business opened its first franchise location in 1972. By 1977, there were 200 Mr. Submarine stores in Canada.
The Toronto International Film Festival was first held on St. Thomas St.
The glitzy film festival has migrated south over the years, but it was first held at the Windsor Arms Hotel in Yorkville as the “Festival of Festivals,” In 1976, its first year, organizers Bill Marshall, Henk Van der Kolk and Dusty Cohl showed a selection the best movies from other festivals around the world to an audience of around 35,000. Dramatically growing in size and scope over the ensuing decades, the event was renamed the Toronto International Film Festival in 1994.
toronto penny farthingJoni Mitchell made her musical debut on Yorkville Ave.
The Penny Farthing cafe at 112 Yorkville Ave. was a weird sort of a place. Out the back of the converted home owner John McHugh installed a swimming pool and patio that in summer was serviced by waiters clad in bikinis. Inside, the cafe hosted performances by noted jazz and blues musicians, including Mitchell, but it McHugh was never much of a fan of the musical culture he helped nurture. Folk music was banned from his high-end stereo, he told Eric Veillette in the Star this year.
toronto yorkvilleYorkville nurtured Toronto’s first cafe culture
When The Coffee Mill closed its doors this summer, it marked the end of Yorkville’s once-vibrant coffee scene. In the 1960s, the neighbourhood was home to numerous European-style cafes, many of them with large outdoor patios at a time when most Canadian coffee drinkers preferred to remain inside. The Riverboat, Chez Monique, Village Corner, Mynah Bird, New Gate of Cleve, Café El Patio, and the Flick also doubled as music venues, nurturing the early careers of beloved acts like Joni Mitchell, Neil Young, and Gordon Lightfoot.
toronto yorkville protestYorkville hippies demanded the neighbourhood be pedestrianized at Queen’s Park and City Hall
As Yorkville’s legend grew, the neighbourhood became increasingly popular with tourists who jammed the narrow streets with cars. Locals sought to have vehicles banned, organizing to a “love in” protest at Queen’s Park in 1967 and a sit-in on Yorkville Ave. that resulted in more than 60 arrests. There were other mass protests in Nathan Phillips Square, but the city refused to budge, eventually leading to a crackdown on local drug dealers and users.
toronto yorkville penny farthingThe neighbourhood was also home to the city’s first drug culture
In its countercultural heyday, Yorkville was known as much for its drugs as it was its music scene. The CBC ran concerned news reports about long-haired shoeless slackers smoking marijuana, taking LSD, and generally loafing around, while the local government viewed the neighbourhood with more than just suspicion. In 1967, the police presence was dramatically increased and a 10 p.m. curfew imposed.
toronto yorkvilleA motorcycle gang provided security for Yorkville in the hippie days
The Vagabonds, “Vags” for short (that’s a hard “g,”) arrived in Yorkville around 1966, bringing with them hard drugs like heroin, Jake Schabas recalls at Spacing. The gang, led by the long blonde-haired “Jesus,” formed an alliance with local hippies that allowed them to continue selling drugs in exchange for providing security. The Vags had a similar agreement with the residents at Rochdale College, an alternative university near Bloor and Spadina, and were once headquartered at 127 Hazelton Ave.
No-one is quite sure why Bloor isn’t spelled Bloore
Poor Joseph Bloore. The only known photograph of the brewer who co-founded the Village of Yorkville is truly awful, and even today the name of street that bears his name is, for reasons historians have been unable to definitively explain, possibly misspelled. Local historian Stephen Otto thinks Bloor added the “e” to perhaps add a little flair to his last name, but that the correct spelling remains the one Toronto put on its street signs.
The developer of Hazelton Lanes helped end Yorkville’s counterculture days
Developer Richard Wookey began buying up Yorkville property in the late 1960s, renting out space to The Vagabonds (see above) and appearing to be hospitable to the local culture. Wookey converted numerous homes into upscale boutiques and built the York Square and Hazelton Lanes shopping centres, pioneering the principles of adaptive reuse with architects Jack Diamond and Barton Myers.
Over the decades, the resulting idealogical shift helped turn Yorkville into the kind of tony neighbourhood where one can find a $28 million condo.
Chris Bateman is a staff writer at blogTO. Follow him on Twitter at @chrisbateman.


Let me tell you about one memorable Saturday night on Yorkville in the late 60's, just so you get an idea of what the place was like! (Most of the people I knew were older and a lot more worldly than me, but since I was a D.J. at CKFH radio they let me hang around with them!)
It was late Saturday afternoon and I went down to the Regency Towers Hotel where they had a lounge and disco called "The Wreck Room."
(The Wreck Bar was later called "Le Spot" and was the place where all the Rounders' hung out. It was also years before the "Disco" craze caught on in the rest of North America!)
Met my friend Rick L.  at the bar and we preceded to spend the afternoon smoking weed, drinking scotch, and watching Road Runner cartoons on the TV.
In the early evening we went over the "The Avenue Road Club" and visited with Murray Campbell while he got the club ready for that nights festivities. (It was huge ....., could hold hundreds of people on two floors! One of T.O.'s top bands like Grant Smith and the Power on the main floor, and a disco in the basement. What a great place to meet the ladies!)
A bit later I left and wandered around the corner to Yorkville Ave and ran into Michael S. who was on his way to Miguel's Disco further down the street.  (Michael's drug of choice was Seconal, [Reds] which was a barbiturate, so naturally we just sort of slowly sauntered up Yorkville Ave.)
A few doors down we noticed that there were two incredibly hot looking girls behind us (turns out they were Stewardesses) and Michael, who is a good looking guy to begin with,  gave them a big smile and kept walking.  A short distance later he did this again, and on the third time he stopped right in front of the girls, and with his most devastating smile said to them: "Are you following us?"
Naturally they had to say "YES" ................, so Michael smiled again, and said in his most charming voice, "I don't blame you!"    And then kept walking!  (I almost pissed myself laughing, but the good news is that we ended up spending the evening with these two lovely ladies!)
When we got to Miguel's the place was packed, and Michael sat at the seat that Miguel kept reserved for him on Saturday nights.  (He sat next to Andy Williams, who was not only in town for a show ........, but was also whacked out of his head on MDA, which is now called ecstasy.)
I looked around, and the only seat open was at a table with four or five Para Dice bikers ........., who looked strangely out of place!
After I asked them if I could sit there (and got a dirty look as I sat down) some of the people I knew came in shortly after  and said "hi" to me as they went to their tables.
Lenny B., who was a friend of mine, told me to come over and sit at their table,  so as I got up to leave, one of the bikers leaned over and apologized to me for being rude! (Seems that Lenny, Donnie C. and Tommy H. were the guys who supplied  the bikers with all their drugs!   Lenny was into speed at the time and had a one day week. He would go on a run for four days ......,  and then sleep for three.   These were also the guys [along with Ian "The Professor" L.] who got that whole MDA thing started.)
Michael S. and I had a great time at Miguel's with the Stewardesses that night, and shortly after 1 a.m. we went back to Murray Campbell's apartment, which is above the Avenue Rd. Cub, and had our regular Saturday night party, which went on until the wee hours of the morning.
After the party ..............., it was over to the Colonnade Restaurant on Bloor St. for breakfast, and then, as the sun came up,  it was off to High Park to ride the water buffalo and talk to the geese!
(God I was young and resilient back then .............., If I tried that lifestyle now I would be dead within a week!)


Tuesday, 16 December 2014

Cosby should have kept his mouth shut!



Dear Readers:
So far in this whole mess surrounding Bill Cosby, the man has taken the high road and refused to comment on the allegations ………………, until this weekend, that is!
Then, the sit hit the fan, and it all backfired on him!
On Friday, Bill Cosby broke his silence to speak to the New York Post’s Stacy Brown, telling her that the black media should be “neutral” when reporting on the multiple rape allegations against him. Today, the President of the National Association of Black Journalists Bob Butler rejected Cosby’s whole premise.
Cosby told Brown, who is part of the black press: Let me say this. I only expect the black media to uphold the standards of excellence in journalism and when you do that you have to go in with a neutral mind.
Today, Butler tells TMZ that “almost all” reports on Cosby’s alleged crimes have been unbiased, and that black journalists should be offended by Cosby’s statement. “You don’t go easier on a person with color,” he says. “Its wrong for journalism period. This not a color issue, this is a journalism issue… black people happen to be reporters.”
Folks, I don’t know if this article bothers me more because it’s an indication of the stupid times we live in, or because it’s another one of those things where other people think they know what’s best for us, better than we do ourselves!
For example!
It’s illegal to text and drive in most provinces, but should it be illegal to text and walk?
One Calgary city Councillor thinks so, and he’s pushing for police to crack down on what he sees as the dangerous practice of distracted walking.
Ward Sutherland says he’s seen distracted pedestrians walk right through moving traffic without looking up, putting themselves and others at risk. He thinks people who don’t look where they’re going should face some consequences, and he plans to broach the issue with Calgary Police.
“What happened to the old days where you look both ways, and cross the street?” Sutherland told CTV Calgary. He said, nowadays, people are too absorbed by their electronics to notice what’s going on around them.
Sutherland hopes to have a conversation with police about how they can promote a more ‘heads up’ attitude among Calgarians.
“We need to work something out,” he said. “Maybe it’s a ticket like crossing the street in an area that you’re not supposed to.”
Distracted walking is not without its consequences. Last May, a 23-year-old man was hit by a cement truck while crossing the street in Calgary. Police say he was wearing headphones.
Read more:
One thing for sure kids, getting hit by a dump truck is NOT good!
A Quebec man has become the first person to reach the centre of Antarctica alone, without mechanical assistance – and he’s done it in record time.
Frederic Dion, 37, arrived Monday, by kite-ski, at the point in Antarctica known as the “South Pole of inaccessibility.”
This only leaves us with one question, Bunky!
With all the fuss in the media about ‘out of control’ cops and abuses of authority by police forces across the United States, it strikes me as incredible that Illinois just made photographing, or taking videos of cops, illegal!
Reports are coming in about an Imperial Fighter that crash landed on a section of the Trans Canada this morning.
(This was caught on a motorists dash camera, and please note the two Storm Troopers standing beside their damaged craft, waiting for authorities to arrive!)

untitledOver the weekend a television crew discovered so-called “magic” mushroom in The Queen’s palace gardens.
Initial reports suggest the Queen was last seen dancing amongst the magnolias!

Read more:
With all the hoopla around the CBC ya have to wonder why they are slowly going down the tube, until you see an article about the best Christmas lights in Canada, AND THEY NOT ONLY DON’T SHOW THEM, BUT DON’T EVEN GIVE YOU A LINK TO THEM!
It’s the Christmas lights display to end all Christmas lights displays. And as homeowner Gilles Bernier points out, you can dance to it too.
Residents living on Robert-Pilon Street in the Gatineau neighbourhood of Aylmer need only look to the home of Bernier and his partner Mindy Do to remind themselves that the holiday season is fast approaching.
The display, featuring 30,000 lights that line the trees and roof, garage and windows of the two-storey home — all synchronized to six different songs — has been the talk of the neighbourhood since it went live.
Bernier says he got his inspiration from seeing YouTube videos from homes in the United States.
Display required months of preparation
Setting up the display took four months to prepare, two months to install and required Do — a software engineer — to spend hundreds of hours of programming.
“Very frustrating. Why do we do this? You know, you wonder. ‘Why? Why? Why?'”
The couple says dozens of people stop by every night to take it all in.
“People dance here. They are having fun. That’s the part that I like. That’s why I did it mainly,” said Bernier.
As for the potential extra cost to his monthly hydro bill, Bernier says it likely won’t be more than $100 to $150 for the month.
The couple says they don’t plan on taking the display down until Jan. 2.
Fortunately, I put the Perspective Research Department on the case, and they managed to track down a video for you!

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Monday, 15 December 2014




Dear Readers:
Yes, your faithful reporter knows all about Jian Ghomeshi and Bill Cosby, and I know that sexual assault is not to be treated lightly, and I realize that women need to be treated equally in modern day society!
I know all this, and I am also aware that I have to make a “meā culpā, meā culpā, meā maximā culpā,” just because I’m a male in this land of the progressively free! [sic]
Just as I keep saying, this whole fixation with a woman’s treatment in society can be used for evil as well!
(I’m accused of being a misogynist and a dinosaur by some left wingers …………, but I think the incidence of false accusations and charges by some women against their former partners is also reaching epidemic proportions. Especially in divorce and child custody cases!)
In this case, who do we blame?
The woman?
The cops?
The prosecutor?
The guy in question, for hanging around with a vindictive nut case?
A man with an alibi spent eight months in jail before serious sex charges against him were stayed.
Now Hassan Salem is suing police and the complainant for $1.9 million, alleging false arrest and malicious prosecution, according to a lawsuit filed with the court this month.
Salem, 46, started a romantic relationship with a woman — who cannot be named because she is a sexual assault complainant — in the spring of 2012, according to his statement of claim.
He broke it off in October of that year, but the woman “did not take this break-up well,” the lawsuit statement alleges.
Repeated attempts over the past week by QMI Agency to contact the female complainant have been unsuccessful.
On Nov. 30 the woman told police Salem had sexually assaulted her, but Salem, a tow-truck driver, gave cops details of the towing calls he went to on the night of the alleged assault.
Police, he alleges, “failed to follow up on this alibi information until forced to by the Crown on the eve of trial eight months later.”
The woman made yet more allegations and Salem was denied bail on Dec. 20, 2012, and again at a bail review on March 4, 2013, despite an inconclusive rape kit, the lawsuit alleges.
On the day Salem’s trial was to begin – July 30, 2013 – the Crown disclosed that police had finally confirmed Salem had been working the night of the alleged sex assault.
What really gets me is that the cops knew the guy had an alibi, but they were either too lazy to check it out, or they wanted to convict this guy no matter what the circumstances!
I don’t like Dick Cheney.
imagesHe scares me, and is evil!
But, I sort of agree with what he said here!
Former Vice President Dick Cheney vigorously defended the CIA’s use of “enhanced interrogation techniques” on Sunday, dismissing the Senate report that referred to water-boarding and other practices as torture, and saying that there was no comparison to how terrorists treat Americans.
“It worked. It absolutely did work,” Cheney, one of the George W. Bush administration’s staunchest advocates of the harsh tactics after the 9/11 attacks, said on NBC’s Meet the Press.
“Torture, to me … is an American citizen on his cellphone making a last call to his four young daughters shortly before he burns to death in the upper levels of the Trade Center in New York on 9/11,” Cheney added. “There’s this notion that there’s moral equivalence between what the terrorists did and what we do, and that’s absolutely not true. We were very careful to stop short of torture.”
Cheney said that he had no second thoughts about the tactics: “I’d do it again in a minute.”
SURE THEY TORTURED THE TERRORISTS ………………………, but Cheney should have the guts to admit it, instead of wimping out and saying it wasn’t torture! (Like most bullies, he doesn’t hold up well under pressure!)
Look folks, this is war with NO rules, as far as these Islamic Militants are concerned!
After you have been kicked in the nuts, you should get even in any way possible!
Here’s a woman in South Korea who has been taking lessons from Belinda Stronach.
untitledCho Hyun-ah, the daughter of the guy who owns Korean Airlines, was on a flight home a few days ago and asked the stewardess for some macadamia nuts.
(Here comes the kicker!)
They served them in a bag, instead of on a plate.
Cho threw a hissy-fit, and made such a fuss that her dad stepped in the next day and fired her from the company!
Goodbye Cho, goodbye!
(By the way, sales of macadamia nuts has exploded across the country.)
A sad commentary on life in American, boys and girls!
Vivid Entertainment, in its infinite wisdom, has calculated that America’s growing interest in “big, beautiful women” and our morbid curiosity about the Honey Boo Boo family add up to ideal market conditions for a porno starring estranged couple Mama June Boo Boo and Mike “Sugar Bear” Boo Boo.
The company behind landmark sex tapes like Kim K Superstar and Backdoor Teen Mom is willing to pay $1 million “or more” to see unemployed ex-reality stars June and Sugar Bear reunite. And, more specifically, f*ck.
In a letter to Mama June, released by TMZ, studio head Steven Hirsch emphasizes her unique appeal in the thriving BBW market, and promises “as much creative input as you would like.”
Doing the tape wouldn’t make things in Boo Boo Land any more insane than they already are, after the family’s TLC show was cancelled because June apparently dumped Sugar Bear for a convicted child molester who preyed on one of her own daughters.
And finally:
Contrary to public opinion, the State of Texas doe not allow people to “openly carry” guns while out in public!
(Of course they can have concealed weapons under their shirt, or in handbags, or down your cowboy boots, or under you cowboy hat!
But no guns in holsters at your hip.
That’s about to change.
A new law will make if possible to walk around like Wyatt Earp or Pat Garrett.


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Sunday, 14 December 2014

Maybe women are smarter!


Dear Readers:
Much as it pains me to admit this …………….., I might owe the Ladies an apology!
As you well know, your favourite reporter has ranted and raved for years about how women’s libbers, and feminists, have portrayed men as idiots, and it even got to the point where TV ads showed as guys as being a bit on the stupid side.
(Now, I don’t mean full-retard, but definitely on the slow side!)
Well, there might be something to it after all!
It has finally arrived: concrete evidence to support Male Idiot Theory (MIT), which states that men are especially prone to serious accidents and fatal mistakes because “they are idiots and do stupid things.”
A recent study into the 20-year history of the Darwin Awards, doled out for particularly stupid and unnecessary self-inflicted deaths, found that 90 percent of accolades were given to men.
The awards, first distributed in 1994, draw inspiration from Charles Darwin’s Theory of Evolution, which states that species develop characteristics by self-selectively weeding out members of the community with undesirable characteristics.
In this case, the undesirable characteristics include extreme stupidity and the ability to remove one’s self from the gene pool by performing an unprecedented accidental snuffing.
There have been 332 Darwins awarded since the prize’s inception, but when analyzing the statistics, 14 were ruled out as they were jointly given to men and women – mostly couples trapped in adventurous and compromising positions.
Of the 318 remaining fatal blunders, 282 were awarded to men – a staggeringly high proportion. Just 36 were given to women.
Previous winners of the Darwin Award include a terrorist who opened his own letter bomb.
A thief, who attempted to steal cables from a lift shaft, cut the wires supporting the elevator beneath his feet. Although he plummeted to an untimely end, he earned a posthumous honor.
The extraordinarily high proportion of males killing themselves in banal ways directly supports Male Idiot Theory (MIT), a highly scientific theory which theorizes that men are more accident prone because they are “idiots.”
Dr Dennis Lendrem of the University of Newcastle discussed the definitions of the proverbial male “idiot.” “Idiotic risks are defined as senseless risks, where the apparent payoff is negligible or non-existent, and the outcome is often extremely negative and often final,” he said.
“According to ‘Male Idiot Theory’ (MIT) many of the differences in risk seeking behavior, emergency department admissions, and mortality may be explained by the observation that men are idiots and idiots do stupid things.
“There are anecdotal data supporting MIT, but to date there has been no systematic analysis of sex differences in idiotic risk taking behavior,” he added.
The British Medical Journal said it was “puzzling” that men felt the need to perform such hazardous feats for social status or “bragging rights.”
They made a special mention of the man who lost a testicle by attempting to use a belt-sander as an auto-erotic device. He narrowly missed out on a Darwin Award as he managed to save his crown jewels (or one of them at least), using a stapler.
Lendrem said intelligence levels and alcohol consumption could be to blame.
“Despite these limitations there can be little doubt Darwin Award winners seem to make little or no real assessment of the risk or attempt at risk management. They just do it anyway. In some cases, the intelligence of the award winner may be questioned,” adding that it would be “naïve” to rule out the effects of alcohol.
Lendrem made a special reference to the collective Darwin winners who played a version of Russian roulette, alternately drinking shots of alcohol and standing on unexploded land mines. One of the mines eventually exploded, killing all three men.

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Sunday Morning Funnies – 72



One day, a little girl asked her father,
“How did the human race start?”
The father answered,
“God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so all mankind was made.”
Next day, the little girl asked her mother the same question. The mother answered,
“Many years ago, there were monkeys, from which the human race evolved.”
The confused girl returned to her father and said,
“Dad, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Mum said they developed from monkeys?”
The father answered, “Well, dear, it is very simple.
I told you about my side of the family and your mother told you about hers.”
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
“Hey, son! May I ask you a question?
Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”
The boy licked his cone and replied,
“Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him.
St. Peter said, ‘I don’t know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,’ and he leaves.
The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple are still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn’t work out; could you get a divorce in heaven. After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled.
‘Yes,’ he informs the couple, ‘you can get married in Heaven.’
‘Great!’ said the couple, ‘But we were just wondering, what if things don’t work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?’
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. ‘What’s wrong?’ asked the frightened couple.
‘OH, COME ON!’, St. Peter shouted, ‘It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it’ll take me to find a lawyer?
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, “do you have that book for men with small penises?”
The librarian looks on her computer and says, “I don’t know if it’s in yet.”
“Yeah that’s the one”
A 5 year old and a 3 year old are upstairs in their bedroom
‘You know what?’ says the 5 year old, ‘I think it’s about time we started swearing.’
The 3 year old nods his head in approval, so the 5 year old says,
‘When we go downstairs for breakfast I’m gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok?’
‘Ok’ the 3 year old, agrees with enthusiasm.
The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 5 year old what he wants for breakfast.
‘Shit mum, I don’t know, I suppose I’ll have some Fruit Loops ‘
WHACK…she spanks him
He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out.
She looked at the 3 year old and asked with a stern voice, ‘And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?’
‘I don’t know mum, but it won’t be fucking Fruit Loops’
Two Italian men get on a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
“Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time.”
“You foul-mouthed swine,” retorted the lady indignantly. “In this country we don’t talk about our sex lives in public!”
“Hey, coola down lady,” said the man. “Who talkin’ abouta sexa? I’m a justa tellin’ my frienda how to spella ‘Mississippi’.”
A Jew and an Arab go into a bakery.
The Arab immediately steals three pastries and puts them in his pocket.
He says to the Jew, “See how good I am? The owner didn’t see a thing.” The Jew says to the Arab, “That’s typical of you Arabs. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result.”
He goes to the owner of the bakery and says, “Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick.”
Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry. The Jew swallows it and asks for another one. The owner gives him another one. Then the Jew swallows that one and asks for a third pastry and eats that, too.
The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, “So what did you do with the pastries?”
The Jew replies, “Look in the Arab’s back pocket…..”

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Saturday, 13 December 2014

Saturday Morning Confusion About Indians!


Dear Readers:
Your much maligned reporter is a confused as ever about what is going on with the Indians in this fair land of ours!
You might remember we had a post in yesterday’s blog about a teacher in Winnipeg!
A Winnipeg School Division school trustee says Kelvin High School teacher Brad Badiuk’s Facebook comments about aboriginal’s are “offensive and ignorant, and require leaders to stand up.”

Without going into all the sordid details again today, let me say that I forgot to put my own two cents worth into the article: “The Native Americans were a stone age culture that hadn’t even invented the wheel yet. If it hadn’t been for the arrival of the Europeans to North America, the Indians would still be living in tents, and walking everywhere they went, since we brought horses with us!”
Be that as it may, I hope I don’t have to remind you of what the Indians did at OKA, in Caledon, out in B.C., the “Idle no More” movement,” and even claiming most of the city of Sarnia as their own! (There’s a ton of other stuff too, but this is just a reminder, not a blanket condemnation!)
The #Indians are on the warpath again!
They have a reserve up in Kettle Point, and they took over the old Ipperwash Military base next to it about twenty years ago. (You will remember this is where Dudley George was killed by a cop!)
In between is the old Ipperwah Provincial Park and a stretch of Ipperwas beach that is basically owned by the people who have cottages up there! (Their land stretches right to the water’s edge!)
This beach has been blocked to vehicle traffic for years and years because the property owners don’t want: a. The traffic, and b, Pollution all over the white sand of the beach,……., things like motor and transmission oil, etc. etc. (Especially with the cars the natives drive up there!)
This past week the Indians decided they didn’t like driving down the road between their two Reserves all that much, and would rather drive along the beach owned by the cottagers!
They tore down the barricades at either end of the beach and now drive up and down on the sand with their cars, instead of on the road, which is about a hundred yards to the south.
And people deep asking why I’m so confused!!!!  (On a side note, as I mentioned, the natives had to walk everywhere before we came over …………, at least now they have ’92’ Chevy’s to drive around in!)
P.S. A lot of people might consider this to be an unfair depiction of Native Americans, but let me tell ya something ……, if they would stop doing this stupid shit, I wouldn’t be so pissed off!

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