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THEOLOGY: A lot of really smart people thinking and saying really stupid stuff!

This blog is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get!

Wednesday, 1 October 2014

Got your underwear in a knot?

 

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Folks, we get a lot of really weird shit sent to us here on this site, but this has to be one of the funniest and strangest things I have ever seen!
Someone was flogging caffeine infused underwear to help you lose weight!
Let me repeat that!
Someone was selling underwear dipped in coffee, and claiming the caffeine that soaked into your skin not only kept you awake, but made you lose weight as well!
Apparently they sold a whole bunch of ‘em.
Unfortunately, they didn’t work!
(Pity)
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The Director of the U.S. Secret Service has resigned over all the security breaches at the White House this year.
Unfortunately, no one knows who that is, since, after all ……………….., it is the SECRET service!
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Pacific walrus that can’t find sea ice for resting in Arctic waters are coming ashore in record numbers on a beach in northwest Alaska.
An estimated 35,000 walrus were photographed Saturday about 5 miles north of Point Lay, according to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.
imagePoint Lay is an Inupiat Eskimo village 480 kilometres southwest of Barrow and 1,100 kilometres northwest of Anchorage.
The enormous gathering was spotted during NOAA’s annual arctic marine mammal aerial survey, spokeswoman Julie Speegle said by email. The survey is conducted with the Bureau of Ocean Energy Management, the agency that oversees offshore lease sales.
Andrea Medeiros, spokeswoman for the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, said walrus were first spotted Sept. 13 and have been moving on and off shore.
Observers last week saw about 50 carcasses on the beach from animals that may have been killed in a stampede, and the agency was assembling a necropsy team to determine their cause of death.
“They’re going to get them out there next week,” she said.
The gathering of walrus on shore is a phenomenon that has accompanied the loss of summer sea ice as the climate has warmed.
(Believe me kids, there is nothing as frightening as a Walrus stampede…………………, the bloody things weigh up to 2000 lbs. each!)
http://www.cbc.ca/news/technology/walruses-forced-ashore-en-masse-as-sea-ice-melts-1.2783672?cmp=rss
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I once heard that:”There’s nothing more pathetic than an over the hill rock and roller!”
AC/DC rhythm guitarist and founding member Malcolm Young is suffering from dementia, according to reports.
The band confirmed to People that Young has dementia, and the Sydney Morning Herald reported that the 61-year-old is living in a local care facility.
Born in Scotland, Young formed the band in 1973 along with younger brother Angus, the band’s lead guitarist, after the family had emigrated to Sydney.
It was announced in the spring that Malcolm would be taking a break from the band, which will release their 17th studio album on Dec. 2. Rock or Bust was recorded in Vancouver earlier this year with producer Brendan O’Brien.
Steve Young, a nephew, played on the album and is expected to join AC/DC when they tour to support the new album.
The other members of the band include drummer Phil Rudd, bassist Cliff Williams, and Brian Johnson, who took over as singer of the band in 1980 after the death of vocalist Bon Scott.
AC/DC was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2003.
malcolm-young
http://www.cbc.ca/news/arts/malcolm-young-ac-dc-guitarist-has-dementia-band-confirms-1.2783467?cmp=rss
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SPEAKING ABOUT MUSIC DRIVING YA MENTAL!
Folks, we knew this had to happen sooner or later!
A Florida jury found Michael Dunn, a middle-aged white man, guilty of first-degree murder on Wednesday in the shooting death of an unarmed black teenager in an argument over loud rap music.
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/world/florida-man-convicted-of-murder-in-dispute-over-loud-music/article20882552/?cmpid=rss1
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BE CAREFUL WHERE YA GO FOR DINNER, FOLKS: The owner of a noodle restaurant has confessed to lacing his trademark dish with opium – so customers would keep coming back for more.
The restaurant owner, known only as Zhang, admitted to police that he had been grinding poppy buds into the food after one of his regular customers tested positive for opium during a routine traffic stop earlier this month.
Customer Liu Juyou, 26, was initially baffled when he tested positive for the drug but soon managed to prove his innocence by convincing family members to eat at the Shaanxi province restaurant and then have themselves tested.
untitledhttp://metro.co.uk/2014/09/25/restaurant-admits-selling-opium-laced-noodles-so-customers-keep-coming-back-4882058/

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Monday, 29 September 2014

If you can remember Woodstock, you weren’t really there!

                                   

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They say that “if you can remember Woodstock, ya weren’t really there” and I can see the validity of this statement.
I was there kids, but I don’t know anymore what was real and what was memorex! (Ya have to be a certain age to even know what that means folks!)
The trouble lay in not only the drugs, but the whole mish-mash of memories and sensations that assaulted us that weekend.
The only thing I know for sure is that it was awful god-damned wet while I was there! (I was one of the long haired hippie kids screaming “NO MORE RAIN!”)
As for the groups themselves ……………, I gotta tell ya bunky, between what I saw there, and what I saw in the multiple showings of the movie “Woodstock” in the following years, I really don’t know anymore which is which.
There are a couple of acts that I swear I saw live, but according to the schedule of the show I couldn’t have seen because I wasn’t there at that time.
Some other acts I don’t remember at all, but apparently I was there ………………………, so go figure that one out.
All I know for sure is that I was really, really wet, and fucked over and fucked up by the time I got back! (I was doing an all night show at a Toronto radio station and that must have been one weird show I did my first day back!)
 

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So far, fall is feeling more summery than summer.

                                                                                                  

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Robert McMullen of St. Thomas, and John Temple of Port Stanley brought their boys to Port Stanley to enjoy another beautiful fall day at the beach south of London, Ont. on Sunday September 28, 2014. As is McMullen’s habit they set out to build a fort out of driftwood, from left the boys are Jayden McMullen, 8, Josh Temple, 8, Nicholas Temple, 6 and Liam McMullen, 7. Mike Hensen/The London Free Press/QMI Agency
It was beach weather Sunday in the London area, with the temperature hitting 26 C — just shy of the record high for the date of 28, set in 1946.
The lineups at the Merla-Mae ice cream parlor on Adelaide St. N were so unusually long, some seasonal employees were called back to deal with the rush.
“People usually aren’t into ice cream in September, but not this year — the weather is fantastic,” said employee Jennifer Smith.
In contrast to the often cool and wet summer, Southwestern Ontario basked in warm, dry stuff during the first first week of fall. Better yet, it looks like it will continue a few more days, with a forecast chance of rain Tuesday but temperatures still expected to be above normal for this time of year.
Our luck will run out on the weekend, however, with cool wet weather forecast Saturday and Sunday.
Many farmers will be crossing their fingers, hoping the frost will hold off awhile longer.
Mark Wales, president of the Ontario of Agriculture, said soybeans crops in eastern Ontario and northerly portions of Southwestern Ontario were hit by frost 10 days ago, but crops around London were spared.
“We dodged the bullet. This is the longest stretch of sun we’ve seen all summer,” said Wales.
He said most crops were planted late this year and a hard frost could still cost farmers tens of millions of dollars.
“All it takes is one frosty morning. Then you can have weeks of nice weather, but the damage is done.”
http://www.stthomastimesjournal.com/2014/09/28/why-does-fall-feel-like-summer
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“ISIS Leader Vows Revenge for Airstrikes in Syria!”
The leader of the Nusra Front, one of those terrorist groups in Syria, warned the U.S. and its coalition Sunday that it would “use all possible means” to exact revenge for the airstrikes begun this week — and that it would do so within the Western countries that make up the coalition.
In a 25-minute audio recording, Nusra Front leader Abu Mohammed al-Golani said, “We will use all that we have to defend the people of Syria…from the Crusader alliance. And we will use all possible means to achieve this end.”
(The recording was made as about twenty of the leaders were gathered together in a big circle, which our reporter thought might be for a conference, or strategy session, but in reality they were all just comparing the size of their dicks!)
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Hey kids, got another one of those strange headlines for ya: Oklahoma beheading suspect a bit ‘weird!’
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I’ll bet ya never thought about THIS before: The Perspective Research Department has concluded that cowbell-clad cows are an iconic part of Swiss culture, but that doesn’t mean the cows are happy about it.
imagesA new study out of Zurich followed 100-plus cows over a three-day period at 25 farms.
Those who wore cowbells—some of which rang, some of which didn’t—ate for shorter amounts of time and even chewed less,
Researchers say it’s unclear which was the chief culprit: the weight of the bells (12 pounds) or the sound (up to 113 decibels).
The decibel level of the bells is the equivalent of a chainsaw; the Swiss Accident Insurance Fund says human exposure to this level of noise for even eight hours a day would negatively and seriously affect health
Read more: http://www.whnz.com/articles/weird-news-104673/cows-really-dont-like-cowbells-study-12804968/#ixzz3Ei47buIU
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Just because you're in politics doesn’t necessarily mean yer smart!
Trudeau wants more Indians to run in the next federal election, which makes about as much sense as the Provincial Tories getting a Muslim to run in this riding during the last election!
He came in last!
This is a predominantly white, upper middle class neighbourhood folks, and why anyone thought a Muslim would win in this riding is nuts.
That’s not prejudice folks, that’s just plain common sense!
It also supports my theory that if a certain culture isn’t acceptable in mainstream society, then there is a public relations problem with that culture.
FOR EXAMPLE: I don’t see any problems around here with a Chinese person running for office! (Except Olivia Chow!)
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George Clooney got married on the weekend.
The Perspective Research Department informs us that he will announce his candidacy for the U.S. Senate this week!
(ya see, it looks better if he has a wife!)
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We looked at the news from Winnipeg this morning, and there were pages of street repairs in the works!
They must be getting ready for winter!
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AND FINALLY: We don’t know if this is true or not folks, but the mere fact that there are rumours like this tell ya a lot about this group!
This is a page from “Snoopes.com”
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Claim: ISIS militants are crushing or stomping babies if their parents refuse to convert to Islam.
- UNDETERMINED -
I have been seeing pictures purportedly of ISIS members stomping on Babies. This is gathering steam. True or False please? Supposedly because the babies did not convert to Islam. How does a baby convert to anything?
ISIS publicly crushes christian baby?
Origins: On 27 September 2014, a circulating blog post made a horrifying claim about ISIS actions in an unspecified region of the Middle East. According to the post (and accompanying image), ISIS militants were attempting to force parents to convert to Islam. If the (presumably Christian) mothers and fathers refused, the claim stated, members of ISIS “crush” or “stomp” their babies.
isisbabies
The graphic above was posted along with the following text:
They claim to be the religion of peace. They are called the “Islamic State in Iraq and Syria”.
Barack Obama claims they aren’t Islamic. (Hey bud, it’s in their name.)
They are Islamic. They are barbarians. They do want to take over the world.
In a three photo slide show, an ISIS cleric kills a baby belonging to a Christian family who refused to convert to Islam. ISIS thugs are spreading across the Middle East and are calling on their affiliates in the United States to begin doing the same. After Friday’s beheading in Oklahoma, Americans need to both be on guard and be angry.
The “religion of peace” has started another Crusade, and most Americans are blissfully unaware.
If there’s ever a time to realize that the enemy is here and they must be defeated, it is now.
Referenced in the claim is an incident that occurred on 26 September 2014 in Moore, Oklahoma. A former employee of Vaughan Foods beheaded one individual and stabbed another, and workers at the company told police the suspect had recently converted to Islam.
The rumor about forced conversions under threat of extreme violence and ISIS is not exclusive to this particular thread. A similar warning has been circulating that ISIS militants are beheading children, particularly in the city of Queragosh.
Rumors of ISIS crushing babies are rampant on social media sites right now, but all lead back to the same unsourced few pages. No credible news reports have emerged from the region regarding babies being stomped by militants, nor have any specifically attributed accounts surfaced to match the above image.
Last updated: 28 September 2014
http://snopes.com/politics/war/isisbabies.asp

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Sunday, 28 September 2014

Sunday Morning Funnies #79

                                   

april01

A few different views of marriage!
It’s Nice to Have a Husband By Your Side
Over the years,
When the sink overflowed,
Or the car ran out of gas,
Or the lady who comes every Tuesday to clean didn’t come,
Or I felt pudgy,
Or misunderstood,
Or inferior to Marilyn Kaufman who is not only a pediatric surgeon
but also a very fine person as well as beautiful,
Or I fell in the creek and got soaked on
our first family camping trip,
Or mosquitoes ate me alive on
our first family camping trip,
Or I walked through a patch of what later turned out to be
plenty of poison ivy on what later turned out to be
our last family camping trip,
Or my sweater shrank in the wash,
Or I stepped on my glasses,
Or the keys that I swear on my children’s head I put on the dresser
weren’t there,
Or I felt depressed,
Or unfulfilled,
Or inferior to Ellen Jane Garver who not only teaches constitutional law
but is also a wit plus sexually insatiable,
Or they lost our luggage,
Or our reservations,
Or two of the engines,
Or the rinse that was going to give my hair some subtle copper highlights
turned it purple,
Or my mother-in-law got insulted at something I said,
Or my stomach go upset at something I ate,
Or I backed into a truck that I swear when I looked in my rearview mirror
wasn’t parked there ,
Or I suffered from some other blow of fate,
It’s always been so nice to have my husband by my side
so I could blame him.
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How to Look After Your Husband
(This was passed on to me as a “genuine extract from a 1950 Home Economics Book”. It may have been changed a little, but it does reflect the general feeling of the time.)
• Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return from work. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
• Prepare yourself. Take fifteen minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people. His boring day may need a lift.
• Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are his little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
• Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up school books, toys, papers etc. and then dust cloth the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too.
• Minimize the noise. Be sure there is no noise from washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.
• Don’t greet him with complaints or problems. Don’t complain if he is late for dinner. Count this as minor compared to what he may have gone through that day.
• Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair. Have a cooling drink ready for him. Offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a soft voice. Allow him to relax and unwind. Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him speak first.
• Make the evening his. Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead try to understand his world and pressure, his need to be home and relaxed.
• THE GOAL: try to make your home a place of peace of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
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A Long Life and a Merry One
(Georgie Starbuck Gailbraith)
Oh, women live longer than men,
So clearly it’s up to a wife
To shield her protector, then,
From the stress of domestic life.
She must send her lord to the daily grind
Armored with shining peace of mind,
And cope with the cares that her day may hold,
Junior seems to be taking a cold,
And the baby’s raising an awful fuss . . .
“Get going you kids, or you’ll miss the bus!” . . .
And the plumbing clogs and the washer quits
After tearing a brand new sheet to bits,
And the door-bell shrills and the telephone shrieks,
And it starts to rain and the back porch leaks,
And the kids come home and behave like weasels,
And Junior’s cold’s not a cold, it’s measles . . .
Yes, women live longer than men,
Or that’s what the experts say.
And women can tell you when
It certainly seems that way!
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Oh, Promise Me!
(Nelda Wood Martin)
When he was courting
He promised me gold,
And all the furs
My arms could hold.
The world, so he said
He would lay at my feet,
I scarcely believed
But it’s true and complete: I have a gold filling,
(Third molar, I think)
And a purring old cat
With fur soft as mink.
The world he tracks in
All over the room,
And I sweep it out
Ahead of my broom.
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Secret of a Happy Marriage
(Ogden Nash)
To keep your marriage brimming,
with love in the wedding cup,
whenever you’re wrong, admit it;
whenever you’re right, shut up.
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To My Mr. Wonderful
Look what you got with me for a wife–
Bills to pay for the rest of your life.
Errands to run, dresses to zip,
Now and then a little lip.
Household chores–changing moods,
Sometimes strange, exotic foods.
But through it all, good times and bad
You’ve been the best husband a gal ever had.
It Isn’t the Principle of the Thing
(Gerogie Starbuck Galbraith)
I don’t, my darling, as you aver,
Insist on being right.
However badly my views may err,
I do know black from white.
So though my feminine ego’s strong,
I can yield with grace and say
I’m perfectly willing to be wrong
So long as I get my way.
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The Secret of a Happy Marriage
A man and woman had been married for sixty years. They kept no secrets from each other except a shoebox the woman had in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask about.
However, one day the woman got sick and the doctor said she would not recover. The man got the shoebox and took it to his wife’s bedside. She agreed it was time he should know what was in the box.
When he opened it, he found two crocheted doilies and a stack of money totaling $25,000.
She said, “When we were to be married, my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you I should just keep quiet and crochet a doily.”
The old man was so moved he had to fight back tears. Only two doilies in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in sixty years. He almost burst with happiness.
“Honey,” he said, “that explains the doilies, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?”
Oh,” she said, “that’s the money I made from selling doilies.”

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Saturday, 27 September 2014

Why weren’t captured ISIS fighters shot?

                                   

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News out of Iraq yesterday that coalition forces captured 300 ISIS fighters.
Our question is: Why weren’t they shot on the spot?
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Well kids, THIS is why Pit Bulls are banned: Toronto Police shot and killed a pit bull on Saturday just after 4 p.m. when it attacked a shih tzu and held the small dog down with a “locked-jaw grip,” police said.
Police received a call for an “unknown trouble” at a Toronto Community Housing Corp. home at Winchester Street and Rose Avenue in Cabbagetown, where they saw bystanders “screaming and yelling” while trying to pry the pit bull away from the shih tzu.
“The policeman was hitting the dog so hard with his baton that it flung out of his hands but the pit bull would not let go,” said Samantha Thornton, a resident in the area. She said the owner of the shih tzu was in “hysterics.”
According to Ms. Thornton, police shot the dog twice in the leg and when it still didn’t release the shih tzu, they shot it in the head.
“Due to the safety and security of the Shih Tzu, the public, and the other officers involved, the officer made the decision to put down the pit bull,” said Const. Jenniferjit Siduh.
Ms. Thornton said the shih tzu is alive and recovering from the attack.
http://news.nationalpost.com/2014/09/26/toronto-police-shoot-and-kill-a-pitbull-after-batons-are-not-enough-to-release-its-lock-jaw-grip-from-shih-tzu/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+NP_Top_Stories+%28National+Post+-+Top+Stories%29
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Ladies and Gentlemen, this is also why you can get teenagers to go to war and do all that other stuff that no rational human being with critical thinking skills would EVER attempt.
Why?
They’re NUTS.
That’s why!

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This is a piece of information that took over 40 years to come into the light!
Remember those guys walking on the moon? (OK, OK, do ya remember seeing film clips about the guys walking on the moon?)
We, (and that includes ME) thought that the best way to get around in the low lunar gravity was to hop all over the place, because that’s what the astronauts did!
Well, it appears that’s WRONG, bunky.
The only reason they “hopped” was because the suits were rather primitive and NOT DESIGNED FOR WALKING.
Of course, now a lot of people are wondering how they got the “astronauts” to bounce around like that on the fake moon “sound stage” when they were really in normal Earth gravity! (And don’t ell me ya didn’t know they were fake ……….., any conspiracy theorist can tell you that!)
aldrin-walking-moon-apollo-11
This is one of the pictures from the “sound stage’ just before a large rack of lights crashed to the ground behind the fake astronaut!
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BAD NEWS KIDS, WINNIPEG IS RUNNING OUT OF DRAG QUEENS!
For the first time, Winnipeg’s Union Sound Hall is hosting a drag show Saturday night – a move to the mainstream that’s a long time coming for the city’s shrinking drag community.
Mama Custworth and DJ J. Jackson are hosting another all-diva dance party at 10 p.m. at The Exchange District venue.
dar-lepine
Their DJ duo, House of Gold Diamonds, plays all diva tracks from artists like Whitney Houston and Madonna.
The last diva dance party sold out, but the duo didn’t want to stop there.
“They wanted to go big and better and why not hire a bunch of drag queens?” said Dar Lepine, whose stage name is Breyanna Burlesque.
Burlesque, Tyra Boinks, Satina Loren and Vida Lamour Decosmo will all take the stage for a multi-song and dance number spanning generations of divas from Dolly Parton to Whitney Houston.
Even though Delpine has been doing drag for the past 14 years, he still gets nervous.
“I love being on stage, and I love performing. It’s an adrenaline high more than anything,” said Lepine. “I still get nervous every time I go on stage.”
And it’s not getting easier – Winnipeg’s drag community is in decline.
Lepine started in June 2000.
“It was actually a dare to begin with. A couple of friends had actually dared Vida and I to get in drag for Pride one year and we were like, ‘No, that’s not our thing!’ and then they convinced us and then we did it and we had so much fun and 14 years later we’re still doing it,” said Lepine.
dar-lepine-drag-queen-breyanna-burlesqueThen, the community was about 50 strong. But now, there’s a lot less.
“The drag community is really small [here.] There’s, I would say, maybe 20 queens in the city,” said Lepine. “It’s just that people have moved on, have done different things and no longer want to do it.”
That’s in part due to the fact drag queens can’t make a full-time living performing in Winnipeg.
In Toronto or Vancouver, though, it’s a different story.
“There’s still this stereotype about doing drag especially in Winnipeg,” he said. “It’s almost like a sign of wanting to be a woman or being feminine … but it’s not at all. I’m definitely happy to be a boy. I just love performing. I love having that second persona.”
But Lepine, who has a full-time job as a flight attendant, concedes he wouldn’t want to leave the city.
“I love Winnipeg. I couldn’t [move]” he said. “I don’t think I would want to do this as an everyday job. It’s tough. I don’t know how some of the Ru Paul girls do it day in and day out.”
So for now, Lepine is happy performing every Saturday at Club 200 and getting extra gigs like the one at Union Sound Hall on Saturday.

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Friday, 26 September 2014

London Hydro about to get sued!

                                                       

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Ladies and Gentlemen, London Hydro and a bunch of other “too big for their britches” companies are about to get sued!
First, I should explain that I certainly don’t like paying my bills ahead of time like some cable companies (and others) insist upon, but if ya get right down to it, I don’t even like paying my regular household bills on time.
I prefer to keep the money in MY pocket for as long as possible. (Which means until they send me a reminder notice.)
There are far too many insurance companies, cable companies, utility companies and phone companies that think they can do whatever they want because they have a monopoly in their area of the market! I’m talking about paying ahead of time, paying exorbitant rates, paying for services the bank used to provide for free a few years ago, and so on, and so on! (Service fees are one of the reasons the big banks each make abut $10 BILLION a year here in Canada, and profits like that are just plain obscene!!!!!)
The latest salvo in their unending cash grab came from London Hydro today with a note that basically said since I hadn’t paid my account in a right orderly manner lately they were going to charge me a 215 dollar “service deposit” on my account to continue getting electricity from them.
Folks, I have been a London Hydro customer for fifteen years now, and we have never had any serious disputes……, but this might be the straw that broke the camels back!
Since I can’t go to “Joe’s Hydro” for my electricity, and I can’t go “off grid” because I’m in a condominium, they seem to think there is nothing I can do except pony up the money and shut up!
WELL!
I ain’t gonna “pony up the money,” and I ain’t gonna “shut up!”
I think I’ll start a class action lawsuit instead!
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imageNow here’s a headline ya don’t see everyday!
“Canadian man caught with 51 live turtles in his pants at U.S. border.”
Folks, I’m not even going to try and explain this one……………, anything I could say probably wouldn’t be as good as what you can imagine anyway!
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Hey kids, here’s a bear I can relate to!
This could have been me back in the day!
A nearly 500 pound black bear was left to sleep off what local residents suggested was a fermented apple hangover Thursday night after he went on a rampage through a Port Coquitlam neighbourhood and then passed out in a bramble bush.
Read more: http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/large-black-bear-rampages-through-b-c-town-before-passing-out-1.2025762#ixzz3EQolklTJ
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Anybody who watches Big Bang theory will be familiar with “Schrödinger’s cat,” but we now have a “Schrödinger’s Abubakar Shekau” as well!
“Is Boko Haram leader Abubakar Shekau alive or dead? ………………Yes.”
The heavy mixture of tragedy and farce surrounding Boko Haram extremists and their bloody behavior in northeast Nigeria continued this week, starting with a photo out of Cameroon.
0926-world-oshekau_full_600Authorities there triumphantly released the image of a dead man they said was Abubakar Shekau – Boko Haram’s elusive and shadowy leader. But before ordinary Nigerians or anyone else could make sense of that news, the story suddenly swiveled: The man in the photo wasn’t Mr. Shekau at all, announced Nigerian military officials Wednesday. He was actually one of Shekau’s body doubles – a different Boko Haram commander named Mohammed Bashir.
And the real Shekau? He was already dead, said Nigerian officials, as they have said officially for some years.
If all those plot twists are difficult to follow, it is because Boko Haram has been playing a canny cat-and-mouse game with Nigerian authorities, whose claims to have killed Shekau have never been verified and often come under question.
Whether Shekau is alive or dead does not mean that Boko Haram is not using what may be a rotating cast of “Shekaus” in its public videos, which also makes it difficult for Boko Haram to verify their claim that Shekau lives.
“It’s possible that he was killed as early as 2009 … or he may have survived and just uses doubles to make it more difficult to catch him,” argues Jacob Zenn, an Africa analyst with the Jamestown Foundation who works on Boko Haram. “The latest incident just reveals that the [Nigerian] Security Forces are struggling to grasp the inner workings of Boko Haram, let alone its overall strategy.”
A figure claiming to be “Abubakar Shekau” has long been featured in video messages sent by the group, which has declared northeast Nigeria an Islamic caliphate. Most Shekau videos are rambling and inchoate statements or boasts, or claims of responsibility for recent acts of terror, or taunts at Nigerian authorities or the West, or, more recently, a threat of harm after the abduction of nearly 300 schoolgirls.
Some experts think the videos feature a cast of Shekau doppelgangers.
Whether or not he is actually still alive – former US Ambassador to Nigeria John Campbell thinks he may be – the Shekau persona is a potent weapon for Boko Haram.
“I abducted the girls at a Western education school,” announced a man claiming to be Shekau in a video released by Boko Haram in May, shortly after the girls were taken from the town of Chibok. Flanked by masked militants, the man read from a notebook, a machine gun slung across his chest.
http://www.csmonitor.com/World/Africa/2014/0926/Is-Boko-Haram-leader-Abubakar-Shekau-alive-or-dead-Yes
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Three Somali pirates killed each other in a fight over the ransom paid to free the German-American journalist who was released this week after two years and eight months of captivity, a police official said Friday.
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Well folks, Hollywood movies are about to get a whole lot weirder and realer! [sic]
Hollywood is getting the green light to fly its own drones.
The Federal Aviation Administration is giving approval to six movie and TV production companies to use drones for filming. And the move could pave the way for the unmanned aircraft systems to be used in other commercial ventures.
The FAA will permit the six companies to use remote controlled drones to shoot movies and video for TV shows and commercials.
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http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2014/09/26/351731611/lights-camera-drones-hollywoods-lens-gets-a-little-larger?utm_medium=RSS&utm_campaign=technology
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Here’s something I never knew: Norah Jones is Ravi Shanikar’s daughter!
Norah Jones closed out Conan’s George Harrison Week on Thursday night, and the results were as soulful as expected. The jazz-pop singer – whose father, sitar master Ravi Shankar, was one of Harrison’s mentors and collaborators – delivered a silky version of “Behind That Locked Door,” a country-tinged track from the guitar icon’s 1970 solo triple-LP, All Things Must Pass.

Read more: http://www.rollingstone.com/music/videos/watch-norah-jones-deliver-tasteful-george-harrison-cover-on-conan-20140926#ixzz3ERfCE1Zr
Follow us: @rollingstone on Twitter | RollingStone on Facebook

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Thursday, 25 September 2014

B.C. teacher suspended for prank!

               

We have a brand new “Asshole of the Day” for ya, folks.
A Langley, B.C., teacher has been suspended over a homophobic prank he played on a Grade 11 student in class last year.
Daniel Mark Ogloff is a metal fabrication and machining teacher at Aldergrove Community Secondary School.
On Sept. 24, 2013, Ogloff wrote “I’m gay” on a piece of masking tape and affixed it to the back of the male student’s jacket.
He allowed other students to take pictures and let the boy leave class unaware of the tape on his back, describing it to officials later as “horseplay.”
Ogloff had earlier received a verbal warning from the school district over comments he made to Grade 7 students and he received another letter over comments to a Grade 12 student in class.
The school district suspended Ogloff from work without pay for 10 weeks last November for acting unprofessionally and disrespectfully. The B.C. Commissioner of Teacher Regulation has now suspended his teaching certificate for two weeks, from Sept. 22 to Oct. 5.
(Apparently he will also be required to wear a piece of masking tape with “I’M STUPID” on his back!)
https://ca.news.yahoo.com/b-c–teacher-suspended-for-slapping–i-m-gay–sticker-on-student-s-back-122153809.html
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The latest con game by big business is the debate over “pick and pay” television channels on cable TV.
The concept involves providing a basic TV service and then letting consumers “pick and pay” what channels they want, instead of being obligated to buy “bundles” of channels like they do now!
Needless to say the cable companies are dead set against this, and they give all sorts of reasons why it’s a bad idea …, and won’t work!
This means that in reality “pick and pay” will save the consumer tons of money and the cable guys will see less cash.
(GO FOR IT FOLKS!)
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The cops are at it again kids.
This time it’s in a small town in New Jersey where they are attempting to get around the provision of needing a “warrant” to enter, and search, someone’s house!
Ya see, cops don’t like any hindrances on being able to do what they want………………., when they want.
You know: “Warrant? We don’t need no stinkin’ warrant!”
So, under the guise of preventing underage drinkers from hurting themselves, they can now just walk in to any house they think harbours an underage drinker!
No questions asked!
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Speaking about cops:
The video above shows South Carolina Highway Patrol trooper Sean Groubert, 31, shooting Levar Jones, 35, during a routine traffic stop for a seatbelt violation. Groubert shot at Jones without provocation, striking him in the hip. The trooper was fired on Friday and arrested last night for assault and battery of a high and aggravated nature.
According to The State, the shooting happened on September 4, and Jones spent time in the hospital but is recovering. The video shows Groubert shooting at Jones at least three times after Jones reaches for his license, which Groubert instructed him to do. He continues to shoot and yells “get on the ground” after Jones puts his hands up. Jones then calls out offscreen, “What did I do, sir?… I can’t feel my leg.”
The South Carolina Department of Public Safety called the video of the stop “disturbing.” If convicted, Groubert faces up to 20 years in prison.
(Now in the interest of fairness, the over anxious cop might have thought the kid was reaching for a gun, but just the same, this act was not only reckless, but criminal!)

http://gawker.com/trigger-happy-cop-shoots-unarmed-driver-in-just-release-1638993749
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This is NOT the way to join the “Mile High Club” boys and girls!
Doug Adams, a passenger on a Virgin Atlantic flight from Logan Airport to LAX, reportedly caused the plane to be diverted to Omaha after he was allegedly caught masturbating on board Monday. Unlike recent incidents involving public masturbation, this seems slightly more reasonable—it’s a long goddamn flight. People get horny over the course of six hours.
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http://gawker.com/flight-lands-early-after-masturbating-passenger-attempt-1638935357
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I haven’t like Islam ever since Cat Stevens got all fucked up on it, but now he seems to have recovered a bit, and is planning a six week North American tour in December.
One of the stops will be in Toronto!
(Remember that old Cheech and Chong bit: “I used to be all fucked up on drugs! Then I found Jesus ………… now I’m all fucked up on him!”)
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OK kids, you have no doubt heard about the big beef Netflix and the CRTC is having, and if ya don’t exactly know what it’s all about ………….., it’s the usual CRTC bureaucracy trying to control everything on the airwaves in Canada!

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Wednesday, 24 September 2014

The meaning of life!

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God, if we can quantify God at all, is some sort of vast, unseen, unknowable, omnipresent, omnipotent mind, intelligence, entity, or source of all reality that we shall call Mother Nature for simplicities sake.
Mom is behind everything, and a part of everything, even though she is not part of, but rather outside of, this Universe.
This is where the connection to us comes in! (This is why,when I refer to “Consciousness as the physical manifestation of God within us,” in my book, I mean this in the literal sense!)
We, and every other living thing in this realm, are a way for God to experience this reality ………………, we are the physical conduits! This connection to all living things from the tiniest germ, to animals, humans, and even the cosmos itself, it is all a means for Mother Nature to experience and interact with what we call THE UNIVERSE!
Naturally this experience will be on a very basic level with the lower animals, and then more pronounced as we go up the evolutionary tree! (That’s also why animals are just like us, only dumber ………., they have less of a brain, and therefore less “connection” to Mother Nature, so they obviously operate at a lower awareness level than we do.)
The long and short of it folks, is that you, me, and every other living thing, are all a part of the same God …., experiencing itself!
That’s right; we are the physical anchors for God’s great reality game called “LIFE!”


(It’s either that, or it’s all bullshit, and there is no meaning to anything …………………., but that’s even harder to accept!)

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Black-ish is the new black

Allan's Perspective


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Well, well, boys and girls, time to get serious for a change.
North American blacks are leading a truly schizophrenic existence, and I don’t think it’s doing them any good!
The reason I mention this is because there is a new TV show premiering tonight called “Black-ish” and it throws a light on some very real conditions in the black community!
Apparently, in the season premier, the dad of the family is quoted as saying that he has to act more “urban” at work in order to get ahead, but at home he expects his family to act more “black” in keeping with their culture.
HERE’S THE POINT KIDS!
Just as the Native American culture doesn’t do the Indians any favours, so too does the “black” culture denigrate and belittle African-Americans by it’s very nature!
The reasons behind this are basically very simple folks.
Black culture is a ghetto culture born out of oppression and ignorance.
The entire group has grown to emulate the uneducated ghetto-speak of inner-city kids, plus rapper and “gangsta” lifestyles ….., and this is NOT the way to get ahead in middle-class America.
In other words, it’s not for anyone who aspires to join the middle-class!
Being proud of your oppression, and turning it into a rallying point is one thing folks, but defining yourself by those parameters is self defeating, and ultimately destructive!
Just ask Bill Cosby!
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Speaking about Indians:
With a decision imminent on the Site C hydroelectric project in northeastern British Columbia, area First Nations have delivered a message to the provincial government: You can have the dam or you can have liquefied natural gas but you will not get both.
Chief Roland Willson of the West Moberly First Nation said his community has title to the Peace River valley under an 1899 treaty, and a recent decision from the Supreme Court of Canada has bolstered their say in any industrial development on that land.
The band is not opposed to resource development, Willson said, but it has issued an ultimatum.
“I’ve said you can’t have both,” Willson said in an interview. “If you want to push Site C, we’re not going to be in favour of any LNG projects.
This is just plain NUTS kids!
If either one is O.K. then what the hell is wrong with BOTH for the economic development of the Province, and the enrichment of the natives?
BUT NOOOOOooooo! They have to be contrary just for the hell of it! (And a little power-play!)
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Hey, ladies and gentlemen, I need your attention NOW!
A ringleader of the so-called Toronto 18 who plotted to storm Parliament and behead politicians is now seeking parole.
Fahim Ahmad pleaded guilty in the middle of his 2010 trial to participating in a terrorist group, importing firearms and instructing his co-accused to carry out an activity for a terrorist group.
He was sentenced to 16 years in prison but received a credit of 8 1/2 years for the more than four years he spent in custody awaiting trial.
During trial, court heard Ahmad held training camps in the Ontario wilderness and told recruits the group would target legislative buildings in Ottawa, electrical grids and nuclear stations.
The group was rounded up in the summer of 2006 in an anti-terrorist operation that made headlines around the world.
Ahmad will face a panel from the Parole Board of Canada today at the Millhaven Institution, a maximum-security prison for men in Bath, Ont.
In handing down his sentence four years ago, the judge who oversaw the trial said he believed Ahmad had a chance at rehabilitation.
Ahmad wrote a letter to the court, claiming to have grown respectful of the beliefs of others during his time at Toronto’s Don Jail.
His wife and father-in-law also submitted letters describing him as having a more moderate and tolerant stance.[sic]
(You might want to remember that this is the guy who wanted to cut the heads off politicians!!!!!)
Read more: http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/toronto-18-ringleader-who-plotted-to-behead-politicians-seeks-parole-1.2021698#ixzz3EEk3u16C
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Memory, in an evolutionary sense, is about survival, says Dr. Sheena Josselyn, a senior scientist at the Hospital For Sick Children Research Institute in Toronto.
It is our warning system to prevent us from repeating dangerous actions.
But traumatic memories, such as those in the brains of people with PTSD, can interfere with daily living. They can cause sleeplessness, or if sleep comes, disturbing dreams.
They can bring moments of anxiety and can make normal relationships with others impossible.
In her lab, Josselyn is working to find a way to delete, or at least dampen, the fear associated with traumatic memory.
Current research says a memory is located in various parts of the brain. The neurons, or brain cells, that are encoded with the fear are in one part of the brain while other parts of the memory are elsewhere.
Josselyn, working with rodents in the lab, is developing ways of locating the group of neurons that hold the fear. Once she has that, then she hopes to target just those cells chemically and disrupt their ability to keep that fear encoded.
“We’re not there yet,” she says, but “we’re certainly getting close in rodents.”
“I think one day, hopefully in the not-too-distant future, we will be able to delete a memory.”
Hey, this is GREAT folks, I can think of a few people I would like to delete from MY memory!
http://www.cbc.ca/news/health/ptsd-and-the-ethics-of-erasing-bad-memories-1.2775192?cmp=rss
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There, now that we have that serious shit out of the way: Like to start your morning with the taste of Guinness? You’re in luck: Starbucks is testing a new latte flavor called Dark Barrel, which contains a syrup reminiscent of a dark beer!
(Somehow that just seems wrong!)
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Just in case ya haven’t heard, Justin Trudeau is boycotting Sun News because Ezra Levant was mean to him!
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Yesterday we mentioned how an octopus looks like the most disgusting Alien we could ever imagine, and LO and BEHOLD, today we have footage!

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