THEOLOGY: A lot of really smart people thinking and saying really stupid stuff!

This blog is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get!

Tuesday, 23 September 2014




O.M.G. kids, we had that alien with three tits in the last post………., now you tell me that this doesn’t look like the most vile, disgusting, give you nightmares and make you throw up in your hat ALIEN that you’ve ever seen!
And yet it’s just a plain ol’ octopus!
(So just imagine what a REAL alien would look like!)
I have some sort of weather service on my desktop and although I live in London, ON. it insists on calling this Pottersburg.
The worst part is that I’ve never even heard of Pottersburg!
Speaking about the weather: This winter “will feel tropical” compared to last year, says Environmental Canada meteorologist Dave Phillips, refuting a prediction by the Old Farmer’s Almanac that “the T-Rex of winters” is ahead.
While it’s only the first day of fall and thoughts of toques and snow tires may still be far off, there’s been much talk of what Canadians can expect over the winter months given last year’s brutal weather.
Last week, the editor of the Old Farmer’s Almanac predicted that Canada is “looking at the T-Rex of winters,” saying it will be “colder” and “snowier” from Calgary to Quebec.
But Environment Canada meteorologist Dave Phillips says winter is going to be “not as brutal and brittle as last year,” and predicts it will feel shorter with warmer days that allow snow that has fallen to melt.
“It may come out to be normal but it will feel tropical compared to what we had last year,” Phillips told Toronto’s all news station CP24 on Tuesday.
Temperatures “will be on the warm side” throughout October and early November, Phillips said. It won’t feel like summer, but it will be warmer compared to the typical temperatures for the time of year.
“People will love this kind of fall,” he said.
Indeed, in central Canada, fall has gotten off to a summer-like start, with temperatures in the low 20s Celsius and sunny skies.
Over the next few months, temperatures will be 5 to 6 degrees above seasonal, Phillips said.
“I think it is going to be nature’s attempt to make up for what we have called a bummer of a summer,” he said. He added that while summer temperatures were cooler than they have felt in recent years, they were “actually very close to normal.”
Read more:
imagesY6M93I3XA Quebec woman is being dubbed the world’s sexiest alleged criminal after a photo of her on a boat in a bikini went viral.
Stephanie Beaudoin, 21, is facing a whopping 114 criminal charges, including breaking and entering and possession of stolen property, over a series of break-ins in and around Victoriaville throughout the summer, according to local media reports.
The Surete du Quebec conducted a series of raids on area homes before arresting Beaudoin in early August, the reports said.
One recent local media report included a photo from Facebook of Beaudoin in a black bikini, wearing sunglasses and a backward baseball cap, sitting on a boat under sunny skies.
untitledThe photograph went viral and her story has since been picked up by international media, which has dubbed her the “world’s sexiest alleged criminal” and “hottest alleged thief.” Three days ago, a fan page appeared on Facebook that already has nearly 3,300 “likes.”
Beaudoin’s fans don’t seem to mind that her charge sheet relates to nearly four-dozen alleged break-ins. The series of police raids reportedly turned up jewelry, electronics, cash and even guns.
untitleddfUnder the handful of photos posted to the page are comments from users with invitations to visit their homes, no break-in necessary.
“Will leave the doors open no need to break in lol,” wrote one fan.
“How can a hot chick be a criminal?” marvelled another.
Beaudoin is also alleged to have had three accomplices, ages 13, 15 and 17. The alleged bandits are believed to have accessed homes via back doors or basement windows.
imagesMRN1S545Beaudoin’s newfound fame is similar to that found by a California man following his arrest earlier this year on weapons charges. Jeremy Meeks’ mug shot, which showed off his high cheekbones and crystal clear blue eyes, went viral after it was posted to the Stockton Police Dept.’s Facebook page last June.
Comments included: “I would go to prison for aiding and aBEDding him,” and “What is he guilty of?! First Degree Sexiness?!”
Meeks was offered modelling contracts and was believed to be considering a move to Hollywood.
Meanwhile, Beaudoin is scheduled to make her next court appearance on Nov. 17.
Read more:

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Tit for Tat!

Allan's Perspective


Well folks, maybe I should have saved this article for the Saturday Morning Confusion posts, since I really am quite confused about whether I should make this girl our “Winner of the Day,” or maybe our “Loser of the Day,” or maybe even our “Asshole of the Day!”
You see, Jasmine Tridevil found a doctor who would put a third breast on her chest, right between the other two! (And a nice pair indeed.)
That’s right kids, she now has three breasts just like those women on “Total Recall” and “Fifth Element.”
Unfortunately, your normally resourceful reporter couldn’t find any nude pictures of her otherwise ample bosom.
drugs-ammunition-found-in-checked-bags-at-jfkForget about the woman with three breasts, kids. We have ourselves a definite “Asshole of the Day!”
Police say a 24-year-old Canadian woman has been arrested at Kennedy Airport with handguns, ammunition and 15 kilograms of marijuana in her checked baggage.
Joseph Pentangelo is the spokesman for the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey police. He says the Scarborough, Ont., woman was arrested at about 9:30 a.m. Sunday in Terminal 5.
He says Nyesha McPherson had two .40-calibre handguns, 350 rounds of ammunition and four magazines in addition to the drugs, all concealed in boxes, tubs and household products.
Pentangelo says McPherson was arrested without incident. She is in custody and unavailable for comment. It wasn’t clear who is representing her.
asshole trophy
Here’s breaking news from the United Kingdom, boys and girls!
Voters in Scotland have sent a clear signal to continue as part of the United Kingdom in a historic referendum vote, although there promises to be a substantial change in the 307-year union in the coming months.
Just over two million people, or 55.3 per cent of registered voters, said No to independence, with over 1.6 million, or 44.7 per cent, in the Yes camp.
We will have more information as it becomes available! -Ed.
Around 80% of infectious diseases are spread with our hands—so washing regularly with soap and water is very important—but does the way you dry hands matter?
YouTube channel AsapSCIENCE compares paper towel drying with hand dryers to see the affects of both.
It turns out that paper towels are a little more effective for two reasons: timing and friction.
Using paper towels can be wasteful, though, so if you plan to use them, keep this trick in mind for maximum efficiency.

(Personally, your normally fastidious report prefers to wipe his hands on his pants!)
The Ebola outbreak is having a devastating effect on the economies of Liberia, Sierra Leone and Guinea, crippling major industries and forcing people out of work.
According to the latest headlines: Farmers Aren’t Farming, Traders Aren’t Trading, Salesmen aren’t selling, and Prostitutes ………….., well, their not working either!
Well kids, never let anyone tell you that Canadians aren’t among the best in the world!
Over 500 people in Canada dressed as Batman gathered as they set a Guinness World Record for most people masquerading as the Caped Crusader.
The 542 staff members of Nexen, an oil and gas company, gathered outside their headquarters in Calgary, Canada, in the costume and crushed the previous of 250, the Daily Star reported.
The event, which was also a fundraiser for the United Way of Canada, saw a few attendees dressed as Batman villains, including Catwoman, the Joker and the Riddler.
imagesB8OE7GU1And finally………………….., I’m really disappointing at the antics of Sun News reporter Ezra Levant.
I don’t know if it just a basic requirement that any right wing commentator has to toe the party line about global warming, or the possibility that Ezra really is an idiot!
If he is contractually required to poo-poo global warming, that’s one thing, bunky.
If this guy is serious, then he’s a great disappointment to me!


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Monday, 22 September 2014

Asshole of the Day!

Allan's Perspective                                             

asshole trophy     

A human rights lawyer is raising concern about the federal government’s plan to strip Canadian passports of those suspected of traveling abroad to join extremist groups.
Citizenship and Immigration Canada has confirmed it is “revoking and refusing passports to those going abroad to take part in terrorist activities.”
Lorne Waldman, the head of the Canadian Association of Refugee Lawyers, says he’s worried the government might use its powers arbitrarily.
Waldman likened the practice to Canada’s secretive no-fly list, which civil liberties groups have argued violates the right to due process.
In the case of passport revocation, Waldman says there are at least legal avenues available for people to appeal such a decision through the courts.
But he said there should be assurances that power is used fairly by Citizenship and Immigration Minister Chris Alexander.
About 310,000 people converged upon the streets of New York city on Sunday afternoon for the People’s Climate March — an event scheduled to coincide with the U.N. summit on Tuesday — intended “to mobilize political will” towards reducing global carbon emissions.
Canadians were there en-mass unofficially led by federal Green Party leader Elizabeth May.
The surprising thing about this rally is that some people protested Canada’s Oil Sands project, BUT ……………, not one word was mentioned about the thousands of oil rigs in the gulf of Mexico!
Oh, wait a minute, the people who own the oil rigs in the gulf …., they’re the one’s with the the money behind the protests against the competition oil sands!
Stop the press! The lovely and leggy Heidi Klum was dressed to kill at amfAR Milano Fashion Week this past weekend in a high-slit black gown with a peekaboo golden girdle.
Out of concern for the feelings of us normal looking people, we have decided NOT to show the complete picture!
Lokk boys and girls, if ya keep wondering what makes thes seemingly NORMAL looking kids turn around and become Islamic radicals………… this might help explain it!
Moner Mohammad Abusalha, 22, was a community college student who grew up playing basketball in Vero Beach, Florida. But Abusalha, the son of a Palestinian father and Italian-American mother, became increasingly consumed with religious fervor.
He said he was influenced by a close, radical friend, according to a video he made before he killed himself and 16 others while fighting with Nusra Front, al-Qaida’s branch in Syria.
Both decided that jihad was for them, but when it was time to go, the friend backed out.
Before getting to Syria, Abusalha was in Istanbul, Turkey. He describes his time there as a low point in his life. In a video, he says he saw a cat outside a Turkish mosque. “I see this beautiful cat and I start playing with the cat. … Even though I’m sad, I still feel happy. I see this cat and I feel happy.” Then I go and become Jihadist!
Officials were quoted as saying they thought Abusalha was obviously suffering from some sort of “cat scratch fever!”
Talk about a sore loser! Scotland’s First Minister Alex Salmond, in the wake of lat weeks NO vote on independence, said Scotland was “TRICKED” into voting no!
(Boo Hoo!)
Talk about getting involved in stuff that’s outside your area of expertise …………….., Leonardo DiCaprio may not have nabbed any of the four Oscars for which he’s been nominated, but his work to protect the environment earned him a prestigious Clinton Global Citizen Award Sunday night.
Even though he is only an actor, and not a scientist, Leonardo’s views on global warming, the Alberta Oil Sands, nuclear power and carbon emissions in general has been noted, and lauded, by environmentalists around the country!
Meanwhile, in a similar attempt to operate outside of his area of expertise, Physicist Stephan Hawking is going to try his luck at acting in a movie!
He’s doing a re-make of the film “My Left Foot!”
Talk about yer stupid headlines in the news today: “Spanish priest in serious condition with Ebola!”
Of course he is, you idiots…………………., HE’S GOT EBOLA!
Here’s another one: “If You Enjoy Something, Don’t Try to Make It a Habit”
My wife took one look at this, and brought up the subject of sex!
Keenan Shaw was honoured toady at the 2038 Canadian Businessman of the Year Awards!
In his acceptance speech he took a few minutes to reminisce about how he got his start in the business world by getting suspended from high school way back in 2014, when he was just 17, for selling pop from his school locker!
Coca-Cola Post Strong Earnings
Folks, ya might consider this nitpicking, or just plain silly, but the use of proper English in society has taken a dramatic downturn.
Here’s another misleading headline: Firefighter electrocuted in Kentucky ice bucket challenge accident has died!
WELL OF COURSE HE HAS …………………, if he was shocked, zapped, charged or blasted by electricity he could eventually die from his injuries, but if he is electrocuted, that means it killed him dead, done, kaput, fried and toasted, RIGHT ON THE SPOT!
(When the execute someone they electrocute them, not just shock them, bunky!)


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Sunday, 21 September 2014

Sunday Morning Funnies!



Folks, this one is so good it can hold the fort all on its own!
The Goodnight Kiss
One night a guy takes his girlfriend home.
They are about to kiss each other goodnight, but the guy is feeling a little horny.
With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her “Darling, would you give me a blow job?”
Horrified, she replies “Are you mad? My parents will see us!”
Him: “Oh come on! Who’s gonna see us at this hour?”
Her: “No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?”
Him: “Oh come on, there’s nobody around, they’re all sleeping!”
Her: “No way. It’s just too risky!”
Him (horny as hell): “Oh please, please, I love you so much!”
Her: “No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can’t!”
Him: “Oh yes you can. Please?”
Her: “No, no. I just can’t”
Him: “I beg you… “
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl’s sister shows up in her pyjamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says:
“Dad says to go ahead and give him a blow job. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he’ll come down himself and do it. But for god sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom..”

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Saturday, 20 September 2014

Saturday Morning Confusion about Islam?



Ladies and Gentlemen, there is so much being written about Islam lately that I thought you might like to understand this religion a little better, and see why they do the things they do!
(Basically the Muslim Faith was conceived in violence, and propagated in violence, so is it any wonder they do stuff like cut peoples heads off!)
For a better understanding of Islam, and how it works, you might want to have a look at my book “The Plain Truth About God!”
It’s not a dry, academic work, but rather a plain talking look at what made Islam and Christianity the way they are ……….., and what makes them tick today!
Although the book was written after 9/11, it was before all this trouble with Boko Haram, and ISIS, (etc. etc.) so it might help explain why the Muslim religion is so bloodthirsty!
You can get the book H E R E and it’s available in both paperback and E-Book!

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Wednesday, 17 September 2014

U.S. at War again!


In the past it was the “war on poverty” and the “war on drugs” etc. etc. and now the United States has gone to war again twice in one week!
In a surprise move President Obama yesterday declared a “War on Ebola” and a “War on ISIS!”
According to the Perspective Research Department, (see below) the United States is going to gather samples of the Ebola virus, and then use that to isolate and infect the members of ISIS …………………., in the hope that the two problems will take care of themselves!Picture 419

B00024J7C6_01-A1V1Z4BJNVFJUK__SS500_SCLZZZZZZZ_V1083175806_ ——————————————————
Speaking of the Ebola virus!
The Center for Disease Control in Atlanta announced today that they have isolated the Ebola strain and are working on ways to eradicate it ……….., other than just flushing it down the toilet!

Restless legs syndrome (RLS) is a disorder that affects more than 1/2 million adults in Canada, according to the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (NINDS).

Also, about 100,000 school-age children suffer from moderate to severe RLS.
(The disorder occurs twice as frequently in women than in men, according to the NINDS.)
dancing8The characteristic sign of RLS (sometimes called restless leg syndrome) is an intense urge to move the legs.
The impulse can be so strong that an individual is unable to resist moving the legs.
Believe me folks, it’s a terrible affliction. My Uncle had it, and before we knew what was happening he was in Winnipeg ……….., and heading west!
Now here’s a story ya don’t see everyday: The U.S. State Department warns Americans not to travel to North Korea, a deeply isolated nation that has threatened nuclear strikes against the USA. But none of that appeared to dissuade a U.S. man who tried to swim there Tuesday night from South Korea.
First of all……….., swim there?
Second………….., North Korea?
(Maybe they should have let him go …………………, then he would be North Korea’s problem!)
If you’re one of those people who likes being told before a friend snaps your picture, then you’re going to hate the FBI’s Next Generation Identification (NGI) System.
NGI, which was launched in 2011, is now fully operational the FBI said Monday. Part of the new technology, the Interstate Photo System (IPS), lets law enforcement search through FBI databases of images and locate for various criminal identities. The image searching system will eventually replace the FBI’s fingerprinting system as well as provide the agency with many kinds of “new services and capabilities.”
Privacy groups such as the Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF) have warned that in addition to criminal mugshots, IPS will also have access to civilian photographs. Roughly 4.3 million of the database’s 52 million photos will be civilian images by 2015, taken for non-criminal purposes like employment identification.
The group expressed concerns about who will have access to the information.
The FBI and Congress have thus far failed to enact meaningful restrictions on what types of data can be submitted to the system, who can access the data, and how the data can be used.”
Compared with the FBI’s instant facial recognition, the NSA looks like child’s play. And it’s certainly NOT, “Candid Camera!”
(Speaking of the States: AND FINALLY …………………….., just to remind us all one more time!)

(Speaking of the States: Just to remind us all one more time!)


AND FINALLY ……………………..,!

John Kerry was giving a speech about about how they were going to fight ISIS, or ISIL, or whatever ya want to call it, and while he was speaking there was some guy behind him who kept holding up a sign that said: “DIPLOMACY NOT WAR!”

Could somebody take this asshole aside and explain to him that ya CAN’T negotiate with ISIS!


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Tuesday, 16 September 2014

Is Scotland crazy if they separate….., Aye!

Allan's Perspective!


With the vote for Scottish independence less than 48 hours away, the similarities with the Quebec referendums in 1980 and 1995 is striking.
First of all, the separatists are appealing to emotions, rather than good ol’ common sense, and they are also trying to rig the election by throwing in all sorts of stuff that has no direct connection with any sort of reality what-so-ever!
Their latest effort is getting so called celebrity “experts” like Sean Connery to endorse independence, since they have so much political and economic experience due to their ability to live in the fantasy world of acting, because, after all, that’s what this is folks………………….., a fantasy world!
In keeping with this fine tradition, we here at the Perspective Research Department have managed to get a posthumous endorsement for Scottish separation from another British celebrity, Amy Winehouse!
Oh, we had a hard time tracking her down, but we eventually found her and she told us in no uncertain terms that, in her opinion, Scotland should get away from England as soon as possible.
Matter of fact, she suggested that the Scots tow it north, and connect it with Iceland!
(Just so ya know!)


A bunch of militants from ISIS issued a stern warning to the United States today about the consequences of messing with them!

Then they all got in a big circle to see who had the biggest dick!


Here’s another headline we ran across today: “Canada tops list of Americans’ favourite countries to visit!”

Well, seems they’re not all that stupid after all!

According to a new survey, Canada beats out at least 25 other countries when it comes to positive American sentiment. Amongst a slew of other questions pertaining to foreign affairs, the 2014 Chicago Council Survey of American Public Opinion and US Foreign Policy asked 2,108 people how they felt about other countries.

“Please rate your feelings toward some countries and peoples, with 100 meaning a very warm, favourable feeling, 0 meaning a very cold, unfavorable feeling, and 50 meaning not particularly warm or cold,” instructed the survey.

When the results were tallied, Canada finished firmly on top with an average score of 79. The next closest nations were Great Britain, with 74, and Germany at 65.

At the frosty end of the thermometer were North Korea (23), Iran (27) and Iraq (31). And according to the survey, Americans are utterly indifferent toward Turkey, who clocked in at a perfectly neutral 50.

Below is a chart with countries ranked from most to least favourable in the eye of the American public.


Read more:


NORWICH, Ont. – Police in Ontario are searching for whoever stole $25,000 worth of beer from a business east of London, Ont.

Ontario Provincial Police say freight carrier Country Transport was broken into in Norwich Township overnight between Wednesday and Thursday last week.

A tractor-trailer filled with thousands of bottles and cans of beer was then stolen from the business.

Police say the beer stolen includes 144 cases of Dos XX Amber Beer, 576 cases of Dos Equis Lager and 600 cases of Sol beer.

The stolen tractor is described as a 2006 blue International semi-tractor that had “Country Transport” and “Magic Transport” decals on it.

The trailer is a 2001 white Stoughton trailer with “Country Transport” decals on the side and rear.

Read more:


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Monday, 15 September 2014

Buy Canadian!

Allan's Perspective                                                                  


Dear Readers: We got this in the mail today and I think it is worth passing on to you!
Kellogg’s Moves Ontario Plants To China
This has been on our agenda since recently hearing of the closing of the Kellogg’s breakfast cereal plant in London, Ontario and moving it to China.
Some of us have decided we do not want to consume any food products made in China or for that matter any food products made outside of Canada or the United States. There are some exceptions such as cheese from England & Europe, Olives from Italy etc.
We have also expanded this to any products we can avoid not made in North America. This is hard to do especially in electronics
This is something we should have paid attention to 30 years or more ago, but we are now, never too late, one person, one step at a time.
Please read the article below. I believe the shop Canadian should be priority one and shop North American priority two ( No offence to our friends in other countries, but you should shop your own countries products )
A physics teacher in high school once told the students:
That while one grasshopper on the railroad tracks wouldn’t
Slow a train very much, a billion of them would.
With that thought in mind, read the following, obviously
Written by a patriotic Canadian.
Shopping in Lowe’s the other day for some
Reason and just for the fun of it I was looking at the
Garden hose attachments. They were all made in China .. The next day I
Was in Home Hardware and just for the fun of it I
Checked the hose attachments there. They were made in Canada !
Start looking…
In our current economic situation, every little
Thing we buy or do affects someone else – even their job.
A quote from a consumer: “My grandson
Likes Hershey’s candy. I noticed, though, that it is
Marked made in Mexico now, instead of Smiths Falls , Ontario.
I do not buy it any more”.
My favorite toothpaste, Colgate, is made in Mexico now. I have switched to Crest.
You have to read the labels on everything.
This past weekend I was at Wal-Mart. I needed 60W light
Bulbs. I was in the light bulb aisle, and right next to the GE brand I normally buy was an
Off-brand labeled, “Everyday Value”. I picked up both types of bulbs
And compared the stats – they were the same except for the price. The
GE bulbs were more money than the Everyday Value brand but the thing
That surprised me the most was the fact that GE was made in MEXICO and the
Everyday Value brand was made in –
(get ready for this) – Canada at a company in Ontario.
Their Equate Products are also made in Canada, and are very good.
Just to add my own experience on buying Made in Canada , I was looking for
Canned mushrooms that were made in Canada and could never find any, so
I would buy fresh. But recently I found Ravine
Mushrooms – made in Canada with a little red maple leaf
On the can. A little more money but when I opened the can I looked at
Mushrooms that look like real mushrooms, not a mushroom that looks
Like it was cleaned in bleach.
Another product I no longer buy
Is Del Monte or Dole canned fruit.
Del Monte is packaged in Taiwan and Dole is now a product of China .
Why should we pay for their fruit when our growers are left with fruit rotting on the
E.D. Smith is still made in Canada…
Buy theirs, at least you will know what is in it
And have some quality control.
By the way, all pickles with the Presidents Choice label
And the No Name yellow label [Superstore] are made in India .. Think about it,
Water from the Ganges is used… Yes THAT Ganges , the one that the
People use as a toilet.
So throw out the myth that you cannot find
Products you use every day that are made right here.
My challenge to you is to start reading the labels when
You shop for everyday things and see what you can find that is made In
The job you save may be your own or your neighbour’s’! (Your children &
Grandchildren, also.)
If you accept this challenge, pass it on to others in your address book
So we can all start buying Canadian, one light bulb at a time!
Stop buying from overseas companies!
(We should have awakened two decades ago.)
Let’s get with the program. Help our fellow Canadians keep their jobs and create more jobs here in Canada.
If President Obama insists on a ‘Made in America ‘ Policy, which is commendable of him, to
support American workers, we should do likewise.
BUY CANADIAN! Read the labels.
Support Canadian Jobs

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