I would rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy

I would rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy
Scientifically, agnosticism makes more sense than strong atheism or theism, where we are certain one way or another.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Mid Week Mayhem – Many in Afghan Community Supported Honour Killing! | BlogsCanada.ca

 

Dear Readers;

This is what happens when we admit people from a society that is still stuck in the twelfth century!

—————————————————

Diba Masoomi, sister of Rona Amir Mohammad, received mysterious calls from Dubai telling her to withdraw a police complaint against Mohammad Shafia.

MONTREAL — The Shafia honour killing trial heard from plenty of Afghan witnesses prepared to vouch for the parents and son accused of murdering four female members of their family.

Mohammad Shafia’s half-brother said Shafia was being framed because of his wealth. A brother of Tooba Mohammad Yahya, Shafia’s second wife, swore his brother-in-law was an upstanding businessman, as did another Shafia associate. The Shafias’ 18-year-old son, brother to three murdered sisters, described the family home as “happy, joyful.”

In the end, the jury dismissed their testimony and found Shafia, Yahya and their 21-year-old son Hamed guilty of first-degree murder in a Kingston, Ont., courtroom on Sunday.

The verdict, in part, can be attributed to the testimony of three members of the extended Shafia clan who felt obliged to tell the truth about what was going on in the family’s Montreal home. For their efforts, they have been shunned by family and subjected to threats.

Related

Latif Hyderi, an uncle of Yahya who lives in Montreal, offered shocking testimony about a conversation he had with Shafia about his 19-year-old daughter. Zainab, desperate to escape her oppressive home, had married her boyfriend, then promptly had the union annulled. Shafia told Mr. Hyderi she was a whore. “She is dirty. She is a curse to me,” Mr. Hyderi recalled Shafia telling him. Shafia, who was away on business, told him: “If I was there, I would have killed her.”

Courtesy of Reza Hyderi

Latif Hyderi and son Reza

Mr. Hyderi’s son, Reza, 31, said in an interview that his family was threatened after deciding to go to the police with suspicions that the deaths of Zainab, Sahar, 17, and 13-year-old Geeti Shafia and Shafia’s other wife, Rona Amir Mohammad, were no accident.

“We used to receive calls from people, threatening over the phone,” he said. One cousin warned him not to “create problems for yourself and for others.”

Since ignoring the threats, his family “has been completely abandoned by the Afghan community,” he said, calling the response disturbing.

“Honestly I don’t care about myself. I don’t care if they don’t talk to me or if I’m not in their society,” Mr. Hyderi said.

“But my parents, they’re very, very good people, and this is their world. They cannot communicate either in English or in French. They’ve grown up in Afghan society. It’s everything to them. And suddenly you snatch everything from them.… It’s a punishment for the fact that my Dad went to testify against Mr. Shafia.”

Fazil Javad, a brother of Yahya, travelled from Sweden to testify about another conversation with Shafia. He said Shafia had talked about planning a family trip to Sweden to kill Zainab. “He told me that we will put her in water and drown her,” Mr. Javad testified. He said Shafia cursed his daughter and complained that she was dating a young Pakistani man.

Mr. Hyderi said Mr. Javad, his cousin, has also been ostracized by the family for speaking out. Reached in Sweden, Mr. Javad, who speaks limited English, said, he was tired of talking about Shafia. “They are crazy people,” he said. “How can a father kill his children? I don’t understand.” Since the deaths, he added, “I am always thinking about it.… I cannot sleep.”

Lars Hagberg/Postmedia News/Reuters

Mohammad Shafia (L), his wife Tooba Mohammad Yahya and son Hamed Shafia are guilty of killing four of their family members.

The third family member to testify for the Crown was Diba Masoomi, a sister of Ms. Mohammad living in France. She had written to police soon after the deaths to alert them something was fishy. To begin with, she could not understand why Ms. Mohammad had been referred to as a cousin when she was the first wife in Shafia’s polygamous marriage. But worse, she reported that Ms. Mohammad and Zainab had received death threats.

Murder charges were filed two weeks later, in July 2009. That fall, Ms. Masoomi began receiving mysterious calls from Dubai, where the Shafias had lived before moving to Canada in 2007 and where Shafia still travelled frequently for business.

Wali Abdali, Ms. Masoomi’s brother, said his sister was frightened by the calls. “Three times they called after my sister had filed a complaint against Shafia about the deaths. They called her telling her to withdraw her complaint,” Mr. Abdali said. “They said they are not murderers, they never killed anyone, you have to withdraw your complaint.”

She persisted, travelling to Kingston, Ont., to testify at the preliminary inquiry and at the trial. In November she testified that before her death, her sister had told her about overhearing Shafia plotting to kill Zainab. “I will kill her because she dishonoured me,” she quoted Shafia as saying.

Mr. Abdali said they never learned who made the calls, and they did not report them to police because they eventually stopped. But he said he remained nervous. “Every time she had to travel, I would accompany her,” he said. “I didn’t want to lose a second sister.”

National Post, with files from Postmedia News

• Email: ghamilton@nationalpost.com | Twitter:

http://news.nationalpost.com/2012/01/31/shafia-relatives-threatened-shunned-for-testifying-against-family/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+NP_Top_Stories+%28National+Post+-+Top+Stories%29&utm_content=My+Yahoo

Mid Week Mayhem – Many in Afghan Community Supported Honour Killing! | BlogsCanada.ca

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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Sunday Morning Funnies! Apology to Americans. | BlogsCanada.ca

 

Dear Readers;

On behalf of Canadians everywhere, I’d like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven’t been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry.
I’m sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron, but it wasn’t nice of us to point it out. If it’s any consolation, the fact that he’s a moron shouldn’t reflect poorly on the people of America. After all, it’s not like you actually elected him.
I’m sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you doesn’t give us the right to sell you lumber that’s cheaper and better than your own. It would be like if, well, say you have 10 times the television audience we did and you flood our market with great shows, cheaper than we could produce. I know you would never do that.
I’m sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defense I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours. As a way of our apology, please accept all of our Canadian NHL teams, which one by one are going out of business and moving to your fine country.
I’m sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you’re going up against a crazed dictator, you want to have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different: Everyone knew he had weapons.
I’m sorry we burnt down your White-House during the war of 1812. I see you’ve rebuilt it! It’s very nice.
I’m sorry for Alan Thicke, Shania Twain, Celine Dion, Lover Boy, the song from Sheriff that ends with the high pitched end note, your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer, but we feel your pain.
And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I’m sorry that we’re constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way, which is really a thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you’re not upset over this, because, we’ve seen what you do to countries with whom you get upset with.

I’m Canadian. And I’m sorry.

———————————————

A Jewish person, an American and a Canadian were riding in a car together and were involved in a very bad accident. The ambulance took them all to hospital together but they were just barely alive….as a matter of fact all three expired in the same operating room while doctors were working on them.
Suddenly the three of them appeared in the clouds at St. Peters Gate and as they approached, St. Peter gestured to the American and said, “If you give me fifty dollars I’ll send you back….you are too young to be up here so soon.”
The American whipped out fifty bucks and….poof! He jumped off the operating table in perfect conition! Not a scratch on him. The doctors were amazed and asked him how come?
He said that all he knew is that the three of them were “up there” with St. Peter and when St. Peter asked him for fifty bucks to send him back….he paid it and….poof! Here he was!
The doctors couldn’t help but be amazed and asked him, “You say those other two were up there with you?” (They were on the next two operating tables in the room) The American said “Yes they were.”
The doctors then asked him, “Well what about them? Are they coming back too? What were they doing when you left?”
The American said, “Well, all I can say is when I looked back at them just before I left the Jew was arguing about the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his!”

——————————————-

CANADIANS IN HELL
Two guys from Toronto die and wake up in hell.
The next day the devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and toques warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks them, “What are you doing? Isn’t it hot enough for you?”
The two guys reply, “Well, you know, we’re from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We’re just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh.”
The devil decides that these two aren’t miserable enough and turns up the heat.
The next morning he stops in again and there they are, still dressed in parkas, toques and mittens. The devil asks them again, “It’s awfully hot down here, can’t you guys feel it?”
Again the two guys reply, “Well, like we told ya yesterday, we’re from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We’re just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh.”
This gets the devil a little steamed up and he decides to fix these two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The people are wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two guys from Canada and finds them in light jackets and bucket hats, grilling sausage and drinking beer.
The devil is astonished, “Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves.”
The two Canadians reply, “Well, ya know, we don’t get too much warm weather up there in Toronto so we’ve just got to have a cook-out when the weather’s THIS nice.”
The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in hell.
The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere; people are shivering so bad that they are unable to do anything but wail, moan and gnash their teeth.
The devil smiles and heads for the room with the two Canadians.
He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, toques, and mittens. NOW they are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men!!!
The devil is dumbfounded, “I don’t understand, when I turn up the heat you’re happy. Now it’s freezing cold and you’re still happy. What is wrong with you two???”
The Torontonians look at the devil in surprise, “Well, don’t you know? If Hell freezes over, it must mean the Leafs have won the Stanley Cup.”

——————————————————–

As we all know, the Taliban considers it a sin for a man to see a naked woman who is not his wife. So, this Sunday at 2:00 PM Eastern time all Canadian women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighbourhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti- terrorist effort.

All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Taliban, demonstrate that they think it’s okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all Canadian women.
And since the Taliban also does not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Taliban sentiment.
The Canadian Government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.

God Bless Canada!

———————————————–

The original name for Canada, dreamed up by a parliamentary committee in London, was “Cold North Dominion,” but that waas too long, so they abbreviated it C.N.D. The King’s Royal Governor presented the new name to the inhabitants, and they didn’t say a word. Just looked at him.
“Well, what do you think?” asked the Royal Governor?
“C., eh?” said the first fellow, and just looked at the Governor.
“N., eh?” says the second guy.
“D., eh?” says a third one. Then silence.
“Hey,” says the Governor. “I like that. It’s a helluva lot easier to pronounce when you spell it that way.”
So that’s how Canada got its name.
The original name for Canada, dreamed up by a parliamentary committee in London, was “Cold North Dominion,” but that waas too long, so they abbreviated it C.N.D. The King’s Royal Governor presented the new name to the inhabitants, and they didn’t say a word. Just looked at him.
“Well, what do you think?” asked the Royal Governor?
“C., eh?” said the first fellow, and just looked at the Governor.
“N., eh?” says the second guy.
“D., eh?” says a third one. Then silence.
“Hey,” says the Governor. “I like that. It’s a helluva lot easier to pronounce when you spell it that way.”
So that’s how Canada got its name.

Sunday Morning Funnies! Apology to Americans. | BlogsCanada.ca

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Saturday, January 28, 2012

Saturday Morning Confusion About the Shafia Trial! | BlogsCanada.ca

 

Dear Readers;

Now that the case has gone to the jury, I feel it is time to comment on this trail where most of a family were wiped out!

There is still debate among some people as to the true facts behind this murder / accident, so we present this article in the hope that it will give you all the poop,and nothing but the poop!

(I use that term because this whole thing stinks!)

———————————————–

By Allison Jones, The Canadian Press

KINGSTON, Ont. – A jury in eastern Ontario starts its first full day of deliberations Saturday to decide the fate of three people accused of killing four family members over honour.

Plans to kill Shafia sisters Zainab, 19, Sahar, 17, and Geeti, 13, as well as Rona Amir Mohammad, 52, their father’s childless first wife in a polygamous marriage, had been set in motion weeks earlier, the Crown alleges.

But the girls’ father, Mohammad Shafia, 58, their mother Tooba Yahya, 42, and their brother Hamed, 18 at the time but now 21, have pleaded not guilty to four counts each of first-degree murder.

During the 10-week trial, jurors heard vastly differing accounts of what happened.

Here’s a look at the agreed upon facts, along with the Crown’s version of events and the defence scenario.

The facts:

On June 29, 2009, the Shafias, an Afghanistan-born, Montreal-based family of 10 including two wives, wrapped up their summer vacation in Niagara Falls, where they had travelled the year before. After a trip mostly spent in Niagara — Hamed and Shafia left for one day and came back — the family packed it in that day.

They checked out of one of their hotel rooms in the morning, but didn’t check out of the second one until about 6 p.m. They didn’t head for home right away, instead leaving Niagara Falls at about 8:20 p.m.

In the family’s Lexus SUV were Shafia, Hamed and the surviving Shafia children. In a 2004 black Nissan Sentra, purchased for $5,000 one day before they left on the trip, were Yahya and the four family members who would soon be dead. The Shafias’ Pontiac minivan was left at home.

They drove toward Toronto, taking a little detour through the downtown and the girls took pictures of the CN Tower on their cellphones. As they travelled east from the city, they stopped at two different McDonalds, one being closed.

Yahya, Shafia and Hamed spelled each other off with driving, switching positions between the cars at a few points along the trip. But Yahya mostly drove the Nissan and Hamed mostly drove the Lexus.

At 1:36 a.m. Sahar’s phone receives a text message that goes unanswered and cellphone signal mapping technology shows it is routed through the tower closest to the canal at Kingston Mills locks. The map shows that while the signal pings off this tower, the sector that the phone was in is not that of the locks, but that of the Kingston East Motel.

The Shafias first try to check in to the Lord Nelson motel, but it has no vacancy. They next try their luck at the Kingston East Motel, just down the road.

At roughly 1:53 a.m., at least some of the Shafia family arrives at that motel. Hamed and Shafia wake up motel manager Robert Miller through the call box and he checks them in around 2 a.m. They ask for two rooms, and when he asks how many people will be in each room, the question seems to cause some confusion, he says. The father and son speak to each another in a language Miller can’t understand, and settle on six people total, three in each room.

About 15 minutes later, Miller sees Hamed and Shafia leaving the parking lot in an SUV. He stays awake until about 2:30 or 2:40 a.m. and doesn’t see them or anyone else return.

People near the locks either in boats along the canal or in some of the few houses in the area hear the sound of a horn. Someone hears a splash. Someone sees two cars, one with no headlights on.

It’s known that at some point Hamed went alone to Montreal in the Lexus. He says it was to conduct business and retrieve his laptop.

At 6:48 a.m., he receives a call from Shafia at the motel and cellphone mapping shows he is indeed in Montreal by that time.

Shafia makes a call from the motel to Sahar’s cellphone at 7:01 a.m. and it goes straight to voicemail. He does not try to reach her again.

Shortly before 8 a.m. Hamed calls 911 in Montreal to report that he has had a collision with a barrier in a near-empty parking lot. An officer arrives to take the report and Hamed asks her if he can have his vehicle fixed immediately.

Hamed returns back to the motel at roughly 11:30 a.m. or 11:45 a.m., not in the Lexus, but in the family’s minivan. He and his parents drop the other children off at Tim Hortons and go to the police station at 12:30 p.m. to report their four family members missing.

Meanwhile, around 9 a.m., lockmaster John Bruce discovers a car in the locks at Kingston Mills. He calls police and divers survey the underwater scene, finding that there are four female bodies in the car. The bodies are floating eerily over the seats, with Geeti and Zainab in the front and Rona and Sahar in the back.

They were not wearing seatbelts. Sahar was also not wearing shoes and Zainab had a sweater on backwards.

The Nissan Sentra is found with its wheels jerked to one side; the ignition, lights and wipers are off and it is in first gear. The seats are reclined all the way back, the driver’s window is open and there are scrape marks on the undercarriage.

Police officers find pieces of plastic on the ground by the edge of the canal wall and on the grass nearby. The pieces of what would later be found to be bits of the Shafias’ Lexus SUV headlights soon spark an investigation into the three now-accused family members.

What the defence says:

The end of the Shafias’ trip to Niagara Falls was not a well-organized affair. The day they were attempting to check out and leave, various children were sleeping, eating or exploring, and the family could not get around to leaving until after 8 p.m.

Yahya starts getting sleepy and isn’t feeling well, so they decide to stop for the night. At some point between making this decision on the highway and checking in to their motel in Kingston, the family stops somewhere again to switch drivers. Neither Yahya, Shafia nor the surviving son who all testified can nail down that location.

It was somewhere dark at the side of a road, they say.

They try the Lord Nelson motel and it is full, so Yahya tells Hamed and Shafia to go on and look for another motel and she will wait in the Nissan with the girls and Rona a little way down the road from the Lord Nelson. The passengers are sleeping, so Yahya reclines her seat and rests her eyes.

Hamed and Shafia get the rooms at the Kingston East Motel, drive a short distance down the road to where they left everyone else in the Nissan, no more than one kilometre away, and the whole family heads back to the motel. The girls and Rona are in one room, Shafia, Yahya and the other children are in the other room.

Zainab knocks on the door of her parents’ room and asks to borrow the car keys so she can get some luggage out of the car. Shafia and Yahya say this is the last they see of her or the others. But Hamed tells a different story.

He says he saw them leave the parking lot in the Nissan, so he followed them, concerned for their safety because Zainab was an unlicensed and inexperienced driver. He suggests they were looking for a gas station to buy phone cards. They end up at Kingston Mills, where Hamed accidentally rear-ends the Nissan with the Lexus.

He gets out to pick up broken pieces of headlight and, as he is doing so, hears a splash. The Nissan has gone in the water.

Hamed rushes to the edge of the canal, dropping the pieces, and calls out their names. He runs to the Lexus to get a rope and honks the horn once for help. He dangles the rope in the water, but there are no signs of life. He waits for several minutes in shock, wondering what to do.

He was scared and thought he would get in trouble for not stopping Zainab from driving, so he decides not to call police and not to tell his parents.

He drives to Montreal to stage the collision in the parking lot to account for the damage. He doesn’t initially tell police about this in an interview with them after making the missing persons report, but admits it when he is confronted with evidence later that day.

Meanwhile, Shafia wakes up early and discovers the Nissan and everyone from the other room is gone. He buys a phone card from the motel clerk and calls Hamed to ask if he has seen them.

Shafia makes a call from the motel to Sahar’s cellphone at 7:01 a.m. and it goes straight to voicemail. He does not try to reach her again.

Back in Montreal already, Hamed stages a collision with the parking barrier to mask the damage sustained when he rear-ended the Nissan earlier, because he is afraid his father will find out and blame him for the girls’ deaths. He doesn’t tell his parents about the damage.

His father calls him again to say he still hasn’t heard back from Sahar or anyone else, so Hamed drives back to Kingston. He returns in the minivan so his parents won’t see the damaged Lexus. Shafia and Yahya wait for Hamed to get back to report the disappearances to the police because their English is not strong, and they don’t want to wake up their other English-speaking children for fear of worrying them.

Hamed returns back to the motel and he and his parents drop the other children off at Tim Hortons and go to the police station at 12:30 p.m. to report their four family members missing. Hamed doesn’t say a word. His lawyer says he is only guilty of being stupid.

What the Crown says:

The entire trip to Niagara Falls was part of the plan, and hardly a vacation at all.

By the time the trip was coming to an end, the accused were stalling on leaving Niagara to ensure they would pass through Kingston in the middle of the night. The detour through downtown Toronto was a stalling tactic.

The plan all along was to stop in Kingston, the Crown says, it wasn’t a spur-of-the-moment decision. Why else would they have passed five exits leading to the main part of Kingston? In particular, why not get off at the exit where hotels are visible from the highway, including a hotel where they had stayed the year before?

Instead they exit at Highway 15, likely around 1:36 a.m., which would put them on the highway at the time of the last text message to Sahar’s phone, and not at the motel yet.

If they were already at the motel at 1:36, 17 minutes are missing, having arrived there on the evidence at 1:53 a.m. at the earliest.

The two cars drive to Kingston Mills, where Hamed and Shafia leave Yahya in the Nissan with the four soon-to-be victims. She reclines her seat to rest, as her daughters and Rona are doing, while Shafia and Hamed check their other children into the motel. Zainab has probably put her sweater backwards over her while she sleeps, the Crown suggests.

Kingston Mills is about 4 1/2 minutes away from the motel and when Hamed and Shafia return, Rona and the girls are drowned in one of the several areas of open water, either to the point of unconsciousness or death.

Their bodies are placed back in the car, but the accused forget to pull the seats back to an upright position and they forget to buckle in the dead, or at least incapacitated, bodies with seatbelts. The headlights are off so as not to draw attention.

The Nissan is put into neutral and maneouvered into place by the edge of the canal wall. The steering wheel is cranked to one side so that when the car goes into the water it will drop perfectly in between a gate arm and a walkway, a tiny triangle-shaped slot with little clearance on either side.

When it’s in position, someone reaches through the open driver’s side window and puts the car into first gear, thinking it will cause the car to go into the canal under its own power. But the front-wheel drive vehicle gets hung up on the ledge, scraping the undercarriage.

With wheels spinning, making noise, and four bodies in a car perched on a concrete ledge, someone reaches through the window and turns the ignition off. Someone else gets the Lexus and drives it up to the canal wall and bumps it from behind. The impact causes the Nissan to plunge into the water, but also causes damage to both the back of the Nissan and the front of the Lexus.

Hamed drops his mother and father off at the motel then goes to Montreal to stage his accident in the parking lot.

When he returns the family drops the other children at the Tim Hortons while they go to report their family members missing. They have already come up with a story about Zainab taking the car keys, and the fewer people there are for police to interview, the lesser the chance that someone will stray from the script.

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/shafia-family-murder-trial-read-facts-crown-theory-100007938.html

Saturday Morning Confusion About the Shafia Trial! | BlogsCanada.ca

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Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Mid Week Mayhem. Sorry folks, oral sex might not be good for ya! | BlogsCanada.ca

 

Dear Readers;

Are BJs Giving You Cancer?

————————-

By Caity Weaver:

The Canadian Cancer Society reported recently that the rate of oral cancer tumors possibly caused by human papillomavirus (HPV) is on an increase.

And, as the Atlantic knows, one way to contract HPV is by engaging in sexy, sexy mouth sex.

But don’t get go declaring your mouth a no-fun zone just yet. Part those lips, pop a chill pill, and let us break down the evidence for and against oral sex as the cancer culprit.

Let’s start on the defensive:

Evidence Oral Sex Might Not Be Killing You

- The Cancer Society’s report analyzed data taken from patients between 1999 and 2008. If you think people didn’t have oral sex before 1999, you need to watch Remember The 80′s.

- The rate of HPV positive oral cancers did go up quite a bit during this time period, but only in white people. Data from other races showed no major changes, which could suggest that oral sex is but another Great White Secret, but probably does not. (It’s because black guys refuse to hum! -Ed.)

- The spike was especially high in white males: men reported a 4.4% increase per year, while the rate in women was less than half that. Are men really putting their mouths to genitals that much more often as women? C’mon, guys. Equal opportunities, please.

- A doctor in the Atlantic piece reports seeing the same trends play out in the elderly, a group not traditionally known for engaging in rampant oral sex.

- There are lots of risk factors besides HPV associated with the development of oral cancers, and practically all of them are cool things you like to do, like smoking, chewing tobacco, and drinking alcohol. Something’s definitely giving you cancer, but it might not be all that oral sex you’ve been having.

Evidence Oral Sex Might Be Killing You

- Well, the big one is that HPV you contract during oral sex can develop into cancer. It just can. I’m sorry.

- It takes a long time for HPV infection to progress to cancer. The latency period can last decades, in fact, which may explain the spike among the elderly. After all, the nonthreatening, asexual grandparents of today are but the freek-a-leek swinger parents of yesteryear.

- For that matter, who’s to say octogenarians don’t spend their days engaging in rampant oral sex on the down low? A lot of them are retired and they get up so early.

So there you have it. Keep having oral sex or maybe don’t, you crazy kids. Good luck.

http://gawker.com/5879036/todays-hummer-tomorrows-bummer-are-bjs-giving-you-cancer

Mid Week Mayhem. Sorry folks, oral sex might not be good for ya! | BlogsCanada.ca

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Sunday, January 22, 2012

Sunday Religious News | BlogsCanada.ca

 

Religious PersecutionSudan:

Sudan Threatens to Arrest Church Leaders

SudanSudan’s Ministry of Guidance and Religious Endowments has threatened to arrest church leaders if they carry out evangelistic activities and do not comply with an order for churches to provide their names and contact information.The warning arrived a few days after Sudan President Omar al-Bashir told cheering crowds that the country’s constitution will be more deeply entrenched in sharia (Islamic law). »

Religious PersecutionUganda:

Ugandan Teenager Tortured for Becoming a Christian Regaining Use of Legs

Susan IthunguA 15-year-old Christian girl in western Uganda who lost the use of her legs after her father locked her in a room for six months for leaving Islam has begun to take tentative steps.Susan Ithungu had been hospitalized since September 2010 after neighbors along with police rescued her. »

al-Shabab | Al ShabaabHate GroupsReligious Persecution:

Somali Convert from Islam Whipped in Public

SomaliaA Somali convert from Islam was paraded before a cheering crowd last month and publicly flogged as a punishment for embracing a “foreign religion,” sources said.Sofia Osman, a 28-year-old Christian from Janale city in Somali’as Lower Shabelle region, had been taken into custody by Islamic extremist al Shabaab militants in November; the public whipping was meant to mark her release. »

IndonesiaReligious IntoleranceReligious Persecution:

Anti-Christian Incidents Nearly Doubled in Indonesia in 2011

IndonesiaActs of violence and intolerance against Christians in Indonesia almost doubled in 2011, with an Islamist campaign to close down churches symbolizing the plight of the religious minority.The worst is perhaps yet to come if authorities continue to overlook the threat of extremism, said a representative from the Jakarta-based Wahid Institute, a Muslim organization that promotes tolerance. »

Calvary Chapel:

Calvary Chapel congregation stunned as Chuck Smith announces that he has lung cancer

Chuck SmithThe congregation at Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa, California, were stunned last Sunday when Pastor Chuck Smith, its senior pastor, announced during his Sunday morning services that he has lung cancer and will have a biopsy on Tuesday and surgery the following week.Chuck Smith, now in his eighties and the father of the Jesus People Revolution in Southern California, said that he has never smoked in his life. »

Hate GroupsIslamUganda:

Muslim Extremists in Uganda Throw Acid on Bishop

UgandaIslamic extremists threw acid on a church leader on Christmas Eve shortly after a seven-day revival at his church, leaving him with severe burns that have blinded one eye and threaten sight in the other.On Oct. 15, area Muslim leaders declared a fatwa against him demanding his death. »

PakistanReligious Persecution:

Pakistani Christian Falsely Charged with ‘Blasphemy’ after Argument

PakistanA young man has been charged with desecrating the Quran under Pakistan’s controversial “blasphemy” laws after the Christian had an argument over rent with his Muslim landlord, his attorneys said.Police charged the man after his landlord accused him of burning pages of the Quran in order to prepare tea. »

LaosReligious Persecution:

Laos Authorities Expelling Dozens Of Christians From Village

LaosDozens of Christians in southern Laos have been told to leave their village within 24 hours if they continue to believe in Christ and hold worship services.With Christmas approaching, Lao authorities already plan to expel at least 47 Christians, “including men, women and children,” from Natoo village in the Palansai District of Savannakhet province. »

Other News

Algeria Stalls Appeal of Convicted Christian

Iran Jails Pastor Extra Year Before Feared Execution

Christians in Kashmir, India Increasingly Fearful, Report Says

Uzbekistan Churches Banned From Evangelism, Youth Worship

Al Qaeda Cell in Turkey Accused of Planning to Bomb Churches

Christian Civilians in Burma Face Deadly Attacks

Pastor’s Arrest Stir’s Anti-Christian Sentiment in Kashmir, India

http://www.religionnewsblog.com/

Sunday Religious News | BlogsCanada.ca

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Sunday Morning Funnies! | BlogsCanada.ca

 

I once was on a plane where I was served by an obviously homosexual male flight attendant. At one point, he bounced over to where I was sitting and announced “The Captain has asked me to announce that he will be landing the big scary plane shortly, so if you could just put up your trays, that would be great.”

I did as he had instructed but the woman sitting next to me did not. A few moments later, our flight attendant came back and said to her: “Ma’am, perhaps you couldn’t hear me over the big scary engine, but I asked you to please put up your tray so that the captain can land the plane.” She still wouldn’t comply.

Now he was getting angry and asked her again to put up the tray. She then calmly turned to him and said: “In my country, I am called a princess. I take orders from no one.”

Our flight attendant replied: “Oh yeah? Well in MY country, I’m called a queen and I outrank you, bitch, so put the tray up!”

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A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall,
holding hands, gazing out over the loch.

For several minutes they sat silently.

Then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, “A penny for your
thoughts, Angus.”

“Well, uh, I was thinkin’… perhaps it’s aboot time for a wee kiss.”

The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

Then he blushed.

The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.

Minutes passed and the girl spoke again. “Another penny for your
thoughts, Angus.”

“Well, uh, I was thinkin’ perhaps it’s noo time aboot time for a wee cuddle.”

The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him for a few seconds.

Then he blushed.

And the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch..

After a while, she again said, “Another penny for your thoughts, Angus.”

”Well, uh, I was thinkin’ perhaps it’s aboot time you let me put my
hand on your leg.”

The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her knee.

Then he blushed.

The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch before the girl spoke again.

”Another penny for your thoughts, Angus.”

The young man glanced down with a furled brow.

“Well, noo,” he said, “my thoughts are a wee bit more serious this time.”

“Really?” said the lass in a whisper, filled with anticipation.

”Aye,” said the lad, nodding.

The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush, and bit her lip in
anticipation of the ultimate request.

Then he said, “Dae ye nae think it’s aboot time ye paid me the first
three pennies?

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Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill. “Here’s that $20 I owe you,” he says.

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A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. “Cold floors,” he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, “Bad food.” They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. “I quit,” he says. “That’s not surprising,” the elders say. “You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here.”

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Sid and Irv are business partners. They make a deal that whichever one dies first will contact the living one from the afterlife. So Irv dies. Sid doesn’t hear from him for about a year, figures there is no afterlife. Then one day he gets a call. It’s Irv. “So there is an afterlife! What’s it like?” Sid asks. ‘Well, I sleep very late. I get up, have a big breakfast. Then I have sex, lots of sex. Then I go back sleep, but I get up for lunch, have a big lunch. Have some more sex. Take a nap. Huge dinner. More sex. Go to sleep, and wake up the next day.” “Oh, my god,” says Sid “So that’s what heaven is like?” “Oh no,” says Irv. “I’m not in heaven. I’m a bear in Yellowstone Park.”

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A Jewish guy goes into a confession box. “Father O’Malley,” he says, “my name is Emil Cohen. I’m seventy eight years old. Believe it or not, I’m currently involved with a 28 year old girl, and also, on the side, her 19 year old sister. We engage in all manner of pleasure, and in my entire life I’ve never felt better.” “My good man,” says the priest, “I think you’ve come to the wrong place. Why are you telling me?” And the guy goes: “I’m telling everybody!”

Sunday Morning Funnies! | BlogsCanada.ca

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Saturday Morning Confusion about Newt Gingrich! | BlogsCanada.ca

 

Dear Readers;

Foret all the pundits predictions.

Forget that he yelled at two debate moderators for asking him personal questions this week.

Forget that he has jumped about 20 percentage points in the polls.

Now that Chuck Norris has endorsed him in a meditative World Net Daily piece, Mit Romney and Ron Paul don’t have a chance!.

Newt Gingrich is going to win the South Carolina presidential primary.

Just remember folks, if Chuck Norris is endorsing him, he must be a winner.

And that’s as big a joke as The GOP race in the first place!

Saturday Morning Confusion about Newt Gingrich! | BlogsCanada.ca

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Thursday, January 19, 2012

Mid Week Mayhem – Macho urinal game makes a splash! | BlogsCanada.ca

 

Dear Readers;

Just when ya thought you’ve heard it all. (I love these types of stories.)

A new video game from Japan is about to hit our shores and it’s a real pisser! You play it in the toilet at your favourite bar.

Users target their urine at a sensor inside the toilet which measures volume and speed, with software then matching that to progress in a selection of five video games in a console mounted at the top of the urinal.

Go figure!

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TOKYO (Reuters) – Three years ago the “Toylet” was just a pipe-dream for developers at Japanese video game maker Sega, but now the urinal video game has been rolled out at pubs across the nation.

“At first, we thought it would really be only young people who would like this kind of game. But … we’re seeing this phenomenon where people are enjoying playing with it, regardless of age,” said Hirotaka Machida, the console’s lead producer.

At 150,000 yen (1,295.17 pound) for a single unit, Machida said the original plan had been to avoid the mass market, but tests in pubs and restaurants showed it had broad appeal.

An infra-red device cuts off play if gamers stray too far from the urinal, reducing the amount of mess, according to Sega, making it a hit with pub managers as well.

Toilet humour and raunchy gags are a staple of far from high-brow variety shows in Japan where Toylets were rolled out on general release.

Sega now has its sights on a global expansion plan later in the year.

(Reporting by Ruairidh Villar; Editing by Elaine Lies and Nick Macfie)

http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/-/offbeat/12659007/macho-urinal-game-makes-a-splash-in-japan/

Mid Week Mayhem – Macho urinal game makes a splash! | BlogsCanada.ca

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Sunday, January 15, 2012

Sunday Morning Funnies! | BlogsCanada.ca

 

A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, “Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?” The husband says, “What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?” A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, “Honey, the car won’t start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?” He says: “What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?” Another few days go by, and it’s raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, “Honey, there’s a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?” He says, “What do I look like, Bob Vila?” The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. “Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them,” she says. “Great! How much is that going to cost me?” he snarls. Wife says: “Nothing. He said he’d do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him.” “Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?” asks the husband. “What do I look like,” she says, “Betty Crocker?”

——————————————————————-

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”The boy takes the quarters and leaves.“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.“Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”

————————————————————————–

It’s Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. “No” says the neighbor. “The seat is empty.” “This is incredible,” said the man. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?” The neighbor says, “Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven’t been to together since we got married.” “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible… But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?” The man shakes his head. “No,” he says. “They’re all at the funeral.”

——————————————————–

Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guys says, “What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear.” “I don’t need to outrun the bear,” the first guy says. “I just need to outrun you.”

———————————————————————-

A guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one to spend eternity in. In the first room, people are standing in shit up to their necks. The guy says “no, let me see the next room.” In the second room, people are standing with shit up to their noses. Guy says no again. Finally, Satan opens the door to the third room. People are standing with shit up to their knees, drinking coffee and eating danish pastries. The guy says, “I pick this room.” Satan says okay and starts to leave, and the guy wades in and starts pouring some coffee. On the way out Satan yells, “O.K., coffee break’s over. Everyone back on your heads!”

———————————————————-

On a passenger flight, the pilot comes over the public address system as usual and to greet the passengers. He tells them at what altitude they’ll be flying, the expected arrival time, and a bit about the weather, and advises them to relax and have a good flight.. Then, forgetting to turn off the microphone, he says to his co-pilot, “What would relax me right now is a cup of coffee and a blowjob.” All the passengers hear it. As a stewardess immediately begins to run toward the cockpit to tell the pilot of his slip-up, one of the passengers stops her and says “Don’t forget the coffee!”

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A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: “Paint…my…house.”

—————————————————————

Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. “I’ll go into town for a doctor,” the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. “I can’t leave,” the doctor says. ‘But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground.” The guy ruins back to his friend, who is in agony. ‘What did the doctor say?” the victim asks. “He says you’re gonna die.”

Sunday Morning Funnies! | BlogsCanada.ca

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