Sunday Morning Funnies, or, Land Ho

Bought a boat.

Have started talking like a pirate!

She's a grand thing........ 26 foot Chris Craft that I spent the last week on, cruising up and down the St. Clair River and out into Lake Huron.

(Next year it's an expedition up to Georgian Bay and the 30,000 islands, one of which is owned by a boyhood friend of mine!)

By the way, I hate to say this but Detroit Michigan, other than Grosse Point,looks shitty from the water too!

While we call a boat "she," you might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are either male or female.

Below are some examples:

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong ones.

TIRES: Tyres are male, because they go bald easily and are often over-inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under them.

SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.

EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female, because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.

Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available as an E-Book H E R E ! and as a paperback H E R E !

Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://allans-perspective.blogspot.com