But! Enthusiastic fans in Toronto watched Doug Bergmann enter, and win, a competition more in keeping with Canada's place in the world of sports.
The 29-year-old Edmonton man was crowned World Cannonball Champion after four impressive leaps at the Trident Splash National Cannonball Championship. Bergmann, who finished tied for second in last year's competition, beat out former champion Brian Utley of Calgary to become the country's new cannonball king.
"This is going to the Olympics, baby," he said after his win. "You'll see me there in 2012."
Ten competitors - called "ballers" - made a splash at the Donald D. Summerville Pool, each trying to outdo their fellow jumpers with elaborate costumes, slick dance moves and huge splashes. Bergmann, a rehabilitation practitioner, donned several bright, skin-tight outfits for his jumps, including dressing up as a bumblebee and cancan dancer.
"I'm more about the show. I like to get dressed up and go crazy," he said. "My cannonball dives are pretty basic - I'm not the best cannonball diver, I will admit - but the performance is a big aspect."
Each baller was judged on four characteristics: style, flair, splash and overall impression. The most important technical element of the jump is the integrity of the tuck, said master of ceremonies Nic Bayley, who went by the name "Splashman" for the event.
"It's not just the dispersion of water," Bayley said. "A full tuck must take place or you will be deducted points."
According to Bayley, size doesn't matter.
"It's not just your sheer weight, but also your creative drive and what you're going to do to bring your game to the highest level," he said.
Bergmann said a good cannonball can be judged by the amount of pain it causes.
"It you do it right, it hurts really bad," he said. "It basically destroys your muscle tissue. You get really bad bruising."
Former champion Utley, who is 55, said he was disappointed about finishing second.
The former world bellyflop champion said he would have retired from cannonballing if he had won Wednesday's competition.
"I thought I jumped well enough to win and make the biggest splash, but that's not what it's all about," he said.
Despite his disappointment, Utley said Bergmann's victory was well-deserved.
"I think he does and adequate job jumping and he does a great job on the board."
Calgary resident Gary Heald, 42, finished third and it's a good thing we did so well at these competitions because so far we haven't done shit at the Olympics!
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know!) and is available as an E-Book H E R E ! and as a paperback H E R E !
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://allans-perspective.blogspot.com
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