• two Italian men and one Italian woman
• two French men and one French woman
• two German men and one German woman
• two Greek men and one Greek woman
• two English men and one English woman
• two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman
• two Japanese men and one Japanese woman
• two Chinese men and one Chinese woman
• two American men and one American woman
• two Irish men and one Irish woman
One month later on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:
• One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
• The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage-a-trois.
• The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.
• The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
• The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
• The two Bulgarian men took one long look at the endless ocean and another long look at the Bulgarian woman and started swimming.
• The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.
• The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy/liquor/ convenience store/restaurant/laundry, and have gotten the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their store.
• The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide, because the American woman keeps on complaining about her body, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, all the sales she's missing, how her relationship with her mother is improving, and how at least the taxes are low and it isn't raining. The American woman, meanwhile, watches the men fart and scratch.
The two Irish men divided the island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey. But they're satisfied, because at least the English aren't having any fun.
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A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.
At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,……….
Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I’m awfully cold.”
“I have a better idea,’ she replied ‘Just for tonight,…… let’s pretend that we’re married.”
“Wow!…………………. That’s a great idea!”, he exclaimed.
“Good”, she replied. …………… “Get your own fucking blanket.”
After a moment of silence, …………………… he farted.
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(This must have been Calvin;)
A mother took her five-year-old son with her to the bank on a busy lunchtime.They got behind a very fat woman wearing a business suit complete with pager.
After waiting patiently for a few minutes, the little boy said loudly, "Wow, She's fat!
The mother bent down and whispered in the little boy's ear to be quiet...
A couple more minutes passed by and the little boy stretched his arms out as far
as they would go and announced; "I'll bet her bum is this wide!"
The fat woman turned around and glared at the little boy.
The mother gave him a good telling off, and told him to be quiet.
After a brief lull, the large woman reached the front of the queue.
Just then her pager began to emit a "beep, beep, beep"
The little boy yelled; "Run for your fucking life, she's backing up!!"
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A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
A long black hearse was followed by a second one about 50 feet behind the first.
Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash.
Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking in single file.
The man couldn’t stand the curiosity.
He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said, ‘I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I’ve never seen a funeral like this.
Whose funeral is it?’
‘My wife’s.’
‘What happened to her?’
The man replied, ‘My dog attacked and killed her.’
He inquired further, ‘But who is in the second hearse?’
The man answered, ‘My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when
the dog turned on her.’
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two men.
‘Can I borrow the dog?’
The man replied, ‘Get in line.'
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-Allan; That HAD to be Calvin!
Walker Bennett, SF Author,
-I never knew my wife was on that train!
Kenn T
-Another funny sunday
Ric H.,
-Yea, right before another Manic Monday!
Allan
Allan W Janssen is the author of the book The Plain Truth About God (What the mainstream religions don't want you to know......!) and is available as an E-Book H E R E ! and as a paperback H E R E !
Visit the blog "Perspective" at http://allans-perspective.blogspot.com
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