The left-wing is crazy and the right-wing scares the shit out of me!

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Monday, 29 November 2010

Dear Readers of BlogsCanada!

The reason I bought BlogsCanada is to showcase Canadian writers and journalists who have something important or interesting to say about this great land of ours.

I would like readers to be exposed to some of the great  Raconteurs, Yarn Spinners, Humorists, Tellers of Tall Tales and Bards that lurk amongst us.
 
If you have a piece that is anywhere from 400 to 600 words (approxiamate) in length, and feel it would be of interest to our readers, why not send it in and I will showcase as many of them as I can.
 
Send them to; Janssen.Marketing@rogers.com  
 
Here is the first!

The Phone Call That Might Have Happened; By Terry Wiens

Nov 27 – Did we really solve a problem or did we just shoot the messenger when the Alberta government let Dr. Duckett go?

This is how it could have gone.

It is midnight at 24 Sussex and the sound of Stairway to Heaven can be heard. Prime Minister Harper jumps out of bed stating “Laureen that’s the Stelmach’s ringtone. I better take it”.

He goes to his study to take the call.

“Hello”.

“Stephen, this is Ed. My apologies for calling so late but I have a major issue happening here and I need some advice”, Premier Ed Stelmach says.

“No problem Ed, what can I do for you”.

“Well I am sure you are aware of the controversy over health care in Alberta and it seems to be taking on a life of its own. It is really snow balling and I need to do something quickly. Do you have any advice that may be helpful?”

“Was it on CNN because I’m not sure what you are talking about”.

“Well I have an MLA, a doctor, who is speaking out against our own party on the whole waiting time in emergency departments. He is basing his criticism on the fact that he is an emergency physician.

He actually believes that physicians are more knowledgeable about the health care system than our provincial health board. I had to suspend him from caucus but he’s still going on.

Then to make matters worse the CEO of our superboard, Stephen Duckett made a comment about eating a cookie which has sent the press spinning”.

“A cookie? Damn it would have been easier to deal with if it had of been a Timmy’s donut. It is always easier to defend when someone is being unpatriotic and nothing says Canada better than Tim Horton. There would have been more room for redemption if it had of been Timmy’s but the way this looks now you have to cut him loose”.

“Well I think I can swing that. The superboard is a little upset but I think we can do a little arm twisting and send him back to Australia. But what do I do about this Raj Sherman, my physician MLA?”

"Oh, that’s a piece of cake,” Harper responded with a little chuckle. “I think I just did a pun. Anyway, discredit him. Take away his credibility. That tends to have a lot of success but make sure someone else does it. Deniability is a good tool Ed. It will eventually blow over because you know how short the voters’ memory is. It shouldn’t be hard to discredit a doctor. After all medicine is based on science and we all know what direction that is going in this country, finally.”

“Well thanks Stephen, you have given me some good food for thought. I will get on this right away”.

“No problem Ed. I know how it can be when the electorate loses touch with their government. These are the issues that need firm guidance. Oh, and by the way Ed, next time phone my constituency office. Good night”.

As Harper was crawling back into bed Laureen looked at him and asked “If Stelmach’s ringtone is Stairway to Heaven which tone is Danny Williams?”

“Winchester Cathedral. Good night dear”..

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