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The Premier of Ontario is jogging with his dog along a nature trail.
A coyote jumps out and attacks the Premier’s dog, then bites the Premier.
The Premier starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie “Bambi” and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.
He calls animal control .. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the Province $200 testing it for disease and $500 for relocating it.
The Premier goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.
The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.
The Premier spends $50,000 in Provincial funds implementing a “coyote awareness program” for residents of the area.
The Provincial Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
The Premier’s security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The Province spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.PETA protests the coyote’s relocation and files a $5 million suit against the Province.
ALBERTAPremier Alison Redford is jogging with her dog along a nature trail.
A Coyote jumps out and attacks the dog.
The Premier’s security agent shoots the coyote and keeps jogging.
The Premier has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.
The Crows eat the dead coyote.
And that, my friends, is why ONTARIO is broke and ALBERTA is not.
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