It’s not often that a small publication like this one comes up with a scoop of international importance but I am pleased to report that the Perspective Research Department and the Naked News staff have uncovered some information about “W” that is both amusing and shocking at the same time.

We have all heard about Bush Jr. and his drinking problems when he was younger, but information has now leaked out to a member of our staff that George fell off the wagon a few times while he was President of the United States.

Most of these incidents were harmless and very low key, but apparently one Labour Day weekend while at Camp David “W” got all pissed up and used the hotline to phone the Premier of China and….!

Are ya ready for this?

Get set!

He picked up the red phone, got the Premier of China on the line…………………………………………………….., AND ORDERED CHINESE FOOD!

As if that wasn’t enough, he then asked the Premier, IF THEY DELIVERED!

Naturally a spokesman for the President spoke to us and denied this ever happened, but your humble reporter is going to stay true to our motto!

Never let the facts get in the way of a good story!

So that’s our story, and we’re going to stick with it!

Your “just the facts, ma’am” reporter;
Allan W Janssen