Dear Readers:

North Korean authorities have told diplomatic missions they could not guarantee their safety from next Wednesday – after declaring that conflict was inevitable amid joint U.S.-South Korean military exercises due to last until the end of the month.

BUT!

After high level talks between Kim Jong-un and the Naked News Staff of the Perspective Research Department, an agreement has been reached to reduced tensions in the Korean peninsula!

imagesCAXWLXDKThe Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (DPRK) government has agreed to reduce its hostile rhetoric and sabre rattling in exchange for a lifetime pass to Disneyland for Glorious Leader Kim Jong-un and his family.

We are now in talks with the U.S. government for special Visas for Glorious Leader and his kin, and as soon as this is arranged, relations between the two countries are expected to return to normal.

Your “always willing to help” reporter:

Allan W Janssen