It’s time again for the glittering party that is the Golden Globe Awards. But what exactly are they?
Reliable Oscar bellwether?
Celebration of “the best and brightest of movies and television”?
A chance to see Hollywood royalty drunk?

The relatively loosey-goosey Globes tend to get much wilder and weirder than the Oscars (though they’re not exactly the Independent Spirits) — and that’s a good thing, isn’t it?
Let’s begin by declaring that Sunday’s Golden Globes results should be taken with a grain of salt, or even tinier, a grain of what The Wolf of Wall Street kept snorting up his nose.

The Globes are what they are. The stars will show up again for the big bash, and sit at tables together and drink copious amounts of wine, and thank the HFPA, and millions of us will watch again.
imagesNYW10R9PThe Golden Globes are fun to watch, no question. It’s the only movie awards show urging attendees to get drunk and do or say something stupid, by placing champagne magnums on each table, in case the wide-open bar doesn’t quench thirsts. Unlike the Oscars, the Golden Globes show usually ends on time.

Good old Gawker ……….., whenever things get slow, I know I can always rely on them for something to pick-me-up!
ku-xlargeThat man you see on the right is holding a slice of Swiss cheese over his dick.
He is currently driving around the Mayfair area of Philadelphia asking women to use the slice of cheese while jerking him off.
The man, who has yet to be identified, is being sought by cops in Philadelphia after a number of women have filed complaints with police stating that he has driven up to them in parking lots and exposed himself while asking to be masturbated with a slice of Swiss cheese.
1067863-Clipart-Flasher-Man-From-Behind-Royalty-Free-Vector-IllustrationThe Philadelphia Daily News has also talked to a 20-year-old woman named Gabby Chest who claims that the same man sent her a message on OKCupid asking her to “perform masturbation on him with cheese.” The Daily News obtained an excerpt from that message in which the man explains the genesis of his fetish:

“I started to compare girls to cheese due to their milky complections [sic], girls are soft, smooth feeling and tend to like dairy products more. That and typical advertising, always using a girl to advertise dairy products. So cheese is what I started to use as a replacement for having sex with girls.”
This is what it means to be a woman in America. If a 50-year-old man isn’t harassing you online about executing a specific food fetish, he’s driving up to you in a parking lot with his dick out and a slice of Swiss cheese literally in his hand.
And here Philly thought its stupid sandwiches were the extent of its cheese problem.
The United States of America is the most litigious society in the world kids ……………………….., everyone will sue anyone else at the drop of a hat.

men63It is by far the most ignorant Christian country in the world …………, when it comes to stupid beliefs like ‘Creationism!” (Only some of the Muslim countries like Saudi Arabia and Pakistan are crazier!)
It also has the most people, as a percentage of population, in jail.

imagesGUQ1D5OPMore than any other country on Earth. (And that includes North Korea, China, Russia, the Middle East, Africa or anywhere else you would care to name! )
It has the highest number of gun deaths as a percentage of population ………………., more than anywhere else on Earth that is not directly involved in a war!
Speaking of Wars!
It has been at war more than any other country on the Planet during the twentieth century ……………, including the invasion of Grenada, which required a dozen off-duty Marines, and a retired Sargent!

imagesEQ3VJ51ZIt has even declared  war on poverty, and a war on drugs.
The more violence and killing on TV the better ……………., but God help anyone that shows a breast during a football game!
It has Militias and cults all over the place, yet most people ignore them because of something called “freedom of speech!”
untitledThis “Freedom of Speech” meanwhile, is ignored by the Government because they spy on their citizens more than any other country in the world!

In spite of all this, the average American family is still relatively normal.
Go figure!!!!!!
untitledSpeaking of the states:   A permit to hunt and kill an endangered Black Rhino has been sold at a US auction for $350,000 (£212,000

The Dallas Safari Club in Texas says the hunt will help protect the species by removing an old aggressive rhino, and funding future conservation.
There were protests in Dallas as the auction took place.
(The auction has been fiercely criticized by conservationists, and has even drawn death threats.)
The Safari Club, meanwhile, doesn’t seem too concerned, since, as they say: “The chances of finding a black rhino in this area is pretty slim!”
AND FINALLY: The Toronto Star had another bunch of nasty articles about Rob Ford on the weekend.
To counter their attempts at mud slinging and ‘Yellow Journalism,” we here at the Perspective Research Department, along with the members of the Naked News staff, are showing his Rotundness in a favourable light for all to see!

On Saturday, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford appeared at Muzik, a popular Toronto nightclub on the grounds of Exhibition Place known for its well-dressed clientele and expensive bottle service.
Thus far, there are no reports of inappropriate behaviour from his trip!