Well folks, it finally happened, The people from the Naked News department came into my office complaining there were far too many assholes running around to write something about all of them!
I begged to differ!
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-Damian Clairmont is just the latest Canadian to die fighting alongside Muslim extremists. The Department of Foreign Affairs has not confirmed al-Gharib’s (Clairmont)death, but Minister John Baird told the Canadian Press the officials were aware of the reports. Al-Gharib is likely one of many Canadians fighting in Syria, Baird said.
-It seems that suspended Senator Patrick Brazeau’s journalism career has come to an abrupt end. As reported by APTN News, Brazeau has been fired by Frank Magazine,
the satirical magazine he joined last month, after writing just one
column. “Operation Give a Dog a Bone has been terminated,” wrote [Frank Magazine
editor Andrew] Douglas, in column titled, “Please forgive me,” in the
latest issue of the magazine. Douglas wrote that Brazeau was an
unreliable freelancer who would “inexplicably drop off the map for a day
or two, not answering emails or telephone calls.”
-Premier Wynne of Ontario refuses to meet with Major Rob Ford, but
had no qualms about meeting with major Joe Fontana of London. (Joe is up
on criminal charges ……, Rob is NOT!)
-Neil Young has now said that Alberta will end up looking like “The
Moon” when the oil companies are through with it!. I guess nobody told
him that open pit mines have to be filled in and landscaped when they
have served their purpose!
-In a study in the British Journal of Psychiatry, researchers analyzed comedians from Australia,
Britain and the United States and found they scored significantly
higher on four types of psychotic characteristics compared to a control
group of people who had non-creative jobs. The traits included a tendency towards impulsive or anti-social behavior, and a tendency to avoid intimacy.
-Some guy in England was stopped by the cops, and then arrested for
not giving them the password to his computer! (They didn’t have a
warrant!)
-The NSA is going to cut back on its spying………………., instead of 200 million e-mails being monitored every day, it will only be 150 million!
AND FINALLY
OUR “ASSHOLE OF THE DAY” ALL AROUND WINNER: James Everett Dutschke
was scheduled for the hearing in U.S. District Court in Mississippi
today for sending a poison filled letter to President Obama!
(More to come!)
—————————-
-Damian Clairmont is just the latest Canadian to die fighting alongside Muslim extremists. The Department of Foreign Affairs has not confirmed al-Gharib’s (Clairmont)death, but Minister John Baird told the Canadian Press the officials were aware of the reports. Al-Gharib is likely one of many Canadians fighting in Syria, Baird said.
-It seems that suspended Senator Patrick Brazeau’s journalism career has come to an abrupt end. As reported by APTN News, Brazeau has been fired by Frank Magazine,
the satirical magazine he joined last month, after writing just one
column. “Operation Give a Dog a Bone has been terminated,” wrote [Frank Magazine
editor Andrew] Douglas, in column titled, “Please forgive me,” in the
latest issue of the magazine. Douglas wrote that Brazeau was an
unreliable freelancer who would “inexplicably drop off the map for a day
or two, not answering emails or telephone calls.”
-Neil Young has now said that Alberta will end up looking like “The
Moon” when the oil companies are through with it!. I guess nobody told
him that open pit mines have to be filled in and landscaped when they
have served their purpose!
-The filming of porn movies has moved from L.A. to Las Vegas,
because the guys have to wear condoms in California, but not in Nevada!
-More and more places are accommodating Muslim tradition by not
allowing co-ed activities on their premisses. The latest are some
swimming pools that segregate men’s and women’s dips! Public swimming is no longer public!
-They tried out a new execution drug in Ohio and I guess it didn’t
work too well. The guy flopped around on the gurney for over ten
minutes!
-Some guy was suspected of hiding drugs in his body, so the cops gave him three enemas, a Colonoscopy,
and multiple jabs in the ass …………….., just ot find out he didn’t have
any drugs! They now have to pay him 1.6 million dollars!
-I’m not even going to comment on the Canadian border guards who
found a pipe bomb in a kids backpack…………….., and then wanted to give it
back to him!
-Justin Beiber should go back to Stratford for a while and become a normal kid again!
-In a study in the British Journal of Psychiatry, researchers analyzed comedians from Australia,
Britain and the United States and found they scored significantly
higher on four types of psychotic characteristics compared to a control
group of people who had non-creative jobs. The traits included a tendency towards impulsive or anti-social behavior, and a tendency to avoid intimacy.-The NSA is going to cut back on its spying………………., instead of 200 million e-mails being monitored every day, it will only be 150 million!
OUR “ASSHOLE OF THE DAY” ALL AROUND WINNER: James Everett Dutschke
was scheduled for the hearing in U.S. District Court in Mississippi
today for sending a poison filled letter to President Obama!
Aside from the fact that NOBODY does poison anymore, (it’s so 18th century) did he really think that Obama opens his own mail?
Give me a break!(More to come!)
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