Suspended Sen. Patrick Brazeau is working at a strip club!

                                   

                    

Dear Readers: Patrick Brazeau has finally found his calling.

Brazeau got a job that is more suitable to his abilities ……….., he is now a day manager at an Ottawa strip club.

According to the National Post, the Barefax Gentlemen’s Club in Byward Market acknowledged that the suspended senator is indeed employed there.
The Ottawa Sun broke the story late on Tuesday evening.
“When the Sun dropped by the popular Byward Market strip club Tuesday night to speak to Brazeau, the manager on duty said Brazeau was not on the premises but would not elaborate.
“A second source who works at the club but wished to remain anonymous later confirmed he is an employee at the club.”
Radio Canada is reporting Brazeau completed two weeks of training before starting his new job this week.
Neither Brazeau nor his lawyer have yet publicly commented on the validity of the story.
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/blogs/canada-politics/reports-suggest-suspended-sen-patrick-brazeau-working-strip-141041947.html
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I hate to be a downer, but thing might start to get a bit dicey in the Ukraine folks!
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The lone winning ticket for the $425 million Powerball jackpot was sold at a convenience store in central California, but there was no immediate word on who may have won one of the largest lottery jackpots in U.S. history.

THAT’S ALMOST HALF A BILLION DOLLARS, BUNKY!

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Yesterday Nestlé USA issued a notice for their HOT POCKETS brand of “Philly Steak and Cheese” and “Croissant Crust Philly Steak and Cheese” food products!

Folks, unlike Jim Gaffigan, we here at the Perspective Research Department have always been a bit leery of “Hot Pockets,” and apparently it’s not without reason!

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It occurred to me yesterday the South Korea is one of the most technologically advanced countries in the world, while North Korea is one of the most backward on the planet.

This satellite image shows South Korea all lit up at night while North Korea is outlined in red!

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A bizarre incident on Lake Winnebago overnight leads to one man being arrested.  Authorities say the man was found on the ice in his underwear off the shore of the Fond du Lac County Town of Calumet.
Officials say the driver and his brother-in-law were apparently traveling from Minnesota to Canada, but they ended up on Lake Winnebago.  The driver became combative, according to the brother-in-law. So he got out of the car and called police.
(Fond du Lac County sheriffs believe the man may have mental health issues. NO SHIT! -Ed.)
http://www.topix.net/news/weird/2014/02/man-arrested-after-bizarre-incident-on-lake-winnebago
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Health officials have temporarily shut down a southern West Virginia pizza restaurant after a district manager was caught on surveillance video urinating into a sink.
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Dear Readers: First it’s GOOD for ya, then it’s BAD for ya, then it’s GOOD for ya again!

Research has consistently shown that coffee can reduce the risk of developing type 2 diabetes. In a review of 28 studies

on the issue published in the journal Diabetes Care, researchers found that drinking six cups per day of either caffeinated or decaffeinated coffee can reduce therisk of developing type 2 diabetes by more than 30 percent.

Studies also suggest that copious amounts of coffee may help protect against various types of cancer, including skin cancer (basal cell carcinoma), liver cancer, aggressive prostate cancer and a type of breast cancer called estrogen receptor-negative breast cancer.

Additionally, coffee appears to help ward off stroke, depression in women and cognitive decline associated with Alzheimer’s disease and Parkinson’s disease. It has even been shown to lessen the pain of exercise.
On the other hand, unfiltered coffee —such as Turkish coffee, or coffee made with a French press —can increase your LDL (“bad”) cholesterol levels. And women who drink more than five cups of coffee a day may have more trouble getting pregnant with in vitro fertilization than women who don’t.

The caffeine in coffee can have several negative effects, such as temporary insomnia, nervousness, restlessness, irritability, stomach issues, rapid heartbeat and muscle tremors, according to the Mayo Clinic.

In addition, a 2006 study in the Journal of the American Medical

Association found that for people who metabolize caffeine slowly, drinking coffee can increase the risk of nonfatal heart attacks.

Finally, if you stop consuming caffeine, you may experience

significant, life-interfering withdrawal symptoms, including headache, fatigue, irritability, depressed mood and difficulty concentrating.

We here at the Perspective Research Department, along with certain members of the Naked News staff, have concluded that the best answer to whether it’s good or bad for ya can be solved by drinking it every second day…………………………, you know, on the good days!
http://www.livescience.com/43532-is-coffee-bad-for-you.html
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AND FINALLY:
Blondie Bennett is a 38-year-old California woman whose mission is to become a real life Barbie doll.
To accomplish this goal, the former model has had copious amounts of plastic surgery, including chin liposuction, spray tans, regular Botox injections and over five breast augmentations. She has spent more $46,000 on breast implants, resulting in her current size 32 JJ chest.
“I don’t like being human, if that makes sense… Natural is boring… I would love to be like, completely plastic,” she tells Bancroft Media.
“Barbie has the best life. All she does is shop and make herself look pretty – she doesn’t worry about anything,” she explains.
But it’s not enough that Blondie — who changed her name over a year ago — simply looks like a Barbie doll. She insists that a huge part of her transformation must include actually becoming stupider.
Blondie has enlisted the assistance of a hypnotherapist to help lower her IQ, and she claims it is working.
“I’ve had 20 sessions and I’m already starting to feel ditzy and confused all the time,” she says of her twice weekly sessions. “Recently, I went to pick a friend up at the airport and couldn’t remember if I needed to go to departures or arrivals.”
Although she’s going through hypnotherapy to make her dumber, Blondie is still smart enough to be living off of other people’s money. Her various sugar daddies pay her rent and cosmetic surgery procedures in exchange for sexy pictures of her breasts and a few nights out.
“I have one special guy who pays my rent and we go out every so often. Basically, I’m like his play doll,” she eloquently explains.

http://ca.shine.yahoo.com/blogs/shine-on/women-uses-hypnotherapy-become-brainless-barbie-doll-214200404.html?vp=1